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MSBKyle
Deinonychus
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27 Dec 2016, 6:05 pm

It seems that as we grow, life gets more complicating. When we are kids, we don't have to worry about paying bills, deciding what we want to do with our lives, work, and other things. As we grow up, more is expected out of us. We are supposed to do well in school, find a job, go to college, figure out a career path, and pay for our own things. As we are trying to accomplish these things, people ask you what you want to do with your life, if you want to get married and start a family, and if you like or are dating someone. If you don't achieve these things by a certain age, then people think there is something wrong with you. If you don't learn how to drive at 16, graduate high school at 18, graduate college in 4 years, date, lose your virginity by a certain age, don't have a job, and you still live with your parents, then you are looked down upon. I am tired of all these pressures. I am tired of everyone thinking that I have to have my life figured out by now. Even though I am 23, I feel more like a kid. I still enjoy the same things I did as a kid, and I feel no where near ready to be on my own and grow up. Life is hard and I am sick of people thinking that I have to be at a certain point in life at my age.



ASPartOfMe
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27 Dec 2016, 6:33 pm

It is expected as we grow older we will mature and gain knowledge, thus be able to handle more tasks, harder tasks, and more complicated tasks.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Dave_T
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27 Dec 2016, 6:53 pm

This is a wired one, I stopped trying to keep up to expectations when I was young, and i watch family my age get married then split up, others struggling with stress for getting a house car and 2 kids on low income. The ones who don't follow or try to follow the expectations are the ones who seem happy.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 144 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 66 of 200


Claradoon
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27 Dec 2016, 7:10 pm

Ignore expectations. Skip college.

Learn a trade and learn it well. Get the grades you need for that. If you have any connections or acquaintances in any trade, talk to them, get their guidance. There's carpentry and plumbing and electrician, yes. But my friend just got accepted into a training course of Medical Coding On-Line. She does the training and the eventual job from home.

Once you have an income, move thousands of miles away from your family. Your job will come with you.

Then, to avoid isolation, join the most liberal church you can find and go sit with people for half-an-hour a week.

And for your sense of self-worth, maybe look at http://www.volunteermatch.com - local or virtual.

I hope some of this might help!



PuzzlePieces1
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29 Dec 2016, 3:48 pm

In my own life, due to my autism, I have always felt that I am about five years younger in terms of maturity than my chronological age. That made it very difficult to make the transition to adulthood after I left home at the age of 17. I was able to survive and succeed based solely on necessity. If I didn't become a successful adult, then I would suffer and die. I had no safety net.

I recommend taking up the app Habitica, which is a roleplaying game based on fulfilling your real life adult responsibilities. You get points and gear for doing chores and accomplishing your to-do list and you team up with other people to form parties to fight enemies in the game. It might be a useful way to make adult responsibilities a little more tolerable.



SocOfAutism
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05 Jan 2017, 5:04 pm

Early to mid twenties seems to be an especially hard time for people on the autism spectrum. It should actually get easier for you as you get older. Like climbing a mountain. It's not bad at the beginning, then it's super hard, then it's gradually easier again.

I second the idea to learn some useful trade. I know several people, autistic actually, who got two-year degrees in electrical engineering and then never had to worry about a job again. Two of them transferred over into networking or other IT jobs later on.



RandomFox
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08 Jan 2017, 10:30 am

It's easier now in my 30s than it was in my 20s for sure, but I had to learn a lot about managing day-to-day life and being a parent. I don't care that much about keeping/finding friendships now, I'm calmer and more focused. 20s were very difficult to me, because I felt I was lagging behind others so much, I was still like teenager who just suddenly got thrown into an adult world. Now in my 30s I look/feel way younger too, but I think I matured a lot (still can be childish and irresponsible at times, but not that much). Becoming a mother was like an intense course in adulthood for me.

I know one autistic guy in his 40s who's managing very well, only struggling big time with relationships, but otherwise he's having a good time (and so he says). It will get easier and easier with time, maybe until health problems start creeping up and we'll have more issues to deal with (hopefully we'll all be healthy and pain free).

I don't mind ageing and the idea of my body getting weaker, more wrinkly, less attractive, whatever. I think a lot of pressure disappears when you're old, you get off the radar and can do your own thing.



feral botanist
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08 Jan 2017, 11:01 am

Dave_T wrote:
This is a wired one, I stopped trying to keep up to expectations when I was young, and i watch family my age get married then split up, others struggling with stress for getting a house car and 2 kids on low income. The ones who don't follow or try to follow the expectations are the ones who seem happy.


This is my experience. I am not married, no kids, no house and most of my friends are envious of the freedom that I have.