Is it a good idea to discuss my gender with teachers?

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Holden14
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 22 Feb 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 68
Location: Wales

13 Jan 2017, 12:28 pm

This is quite a complicated question, as I know from the fact that I tried to logically work out the pros and cons of different options a minute ago and got nowhere :| But please bear with me if you have had experiences coming out to your teachers or if you are quite good at analysing situations.

So, I'm assigned female at birth and in an all female school. My friends call me a male name (which I think girls occasionally use as a nickname?) and in the past few days, some of my teachers have begun to call me this name as well. I'm not sure whether they assume I'm transgender or think it's a nickname. I present myself physically as male at school (hair, clothes etc). I like that my teachers are calling me this name, but it also makes me uncomfortable for these reasons:

#1, I don't want all the teachers at my school to find out I am trans/using a male name, because I've already got a lot of attention from teachers in the past due to trying to talk to them about AS, and I think they'll think I'm very attention seeking if they know about this as well. I also don't think they'll understand/be helpful at all.

#2, If my teachers refer to me by my male name in front of my parents (at parents evening, for example, or another in school event, of which my school has many) I will get in loads of trouble with my family and cause lots of problems for my parents and myself, probably be forced to dress feminine, and damage my relationship with my parents, etc.

I have one teacher who I know is supportive of LGBT people (she calls me by a male name), and I'm considering asking her to please tell her colleagues who call me a male name not to use my male name to my parents or to other teachers who don't already use the name. However, I'm worried about doing this for the following reasons:

#1, If she didn't know I was trans already, she would after I told her that, so I'd have essentially outed myself to her and the other teachers she'll tell, which I don't want to do.

#2, I can't predict her reaction: she may bring the school's head into the issue, or even my parents (I can't see why she'd do this but I can't be certain).

#3, I fear I may only want to talk to her about this for attention/because I'm getting carried away with the idea of being trans openly at school or something.

Has anybody got any advice about whether the sensible thing to do would be to do nothing, or to ask this teacher for help? Thanks.


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