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randomeu
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16 Feb 2017, 8:44 pm

not entirely. im not even sure. like i dont think anyones ever flirted with me. but maybe they have...i can think of a few times that it maybe happened....


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Eliza_Day
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25 Feb 2017, 9:04 pm

I've never engaged in "romantic" flirting partly because I've never dated, so didn't develop those skills, and because I was always too wary of men and their intentions. The flirty girls that I knew, were always involved in dramas and seemed to attract the wrong type of men, which further put me off.
Even though I only recently found out I'm on the spectrum, I've always felt vulnerable around men so my demeanour is always neutral in their presence.

As for understanding flirting, I kind of do... I know that many people seem to find it fun, but maybe I'm just too serious and uptight :(



LifeSword3
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27 Nov 2018, 7:35 pm

Hi everyone, I'm a new poster to this forum.

For the background story, I'm a 24 y-o French history student who was diagnosed with asperger syndrome two years ago. It was a life-changing decision. So far I've been blessed with my family, my friends and my ex-girlfriend.

Since the beginning of the school year, there's this blond girl who's very attractive and nice that genuingly showed an interest in me. We've seen each other at several party and at a trip her student association organized. Everything was going just fine between the two of us so two weeks ago I tried to invite her for a coffee. At first she refused by evaded the question but a couple of days later she came back to me for this reason. We then saw each other last week and it went great despite me being anxious.

I'm trying to be patient about it and take this step by step. Unfortunately she had to cancel our rendezvous today because of an emergency. I've invited her to a party on thursday night but she told me she wasn't sure and was going to confirm tomorrow during class.

My issue here is reading and understanding correctly the signs she's sending me. First of all, she never tries to talk to me on messenger (I'm the one who starts a discussion) unless if it's to warn me about a change of plans. I tried to exchange phone numbers but she never cared to give her own. She does smile to me however during class and when we meet in the campus. I'm just not sure what kind of smile it is. She's always friendly and seems to care but it's still obscure.

I understand it's difficult to do but could you help me determine a course of action in this particular scenario ?

I've read at the beginning of this thread that sometime it's best to be honest about my feelings because flirting is for teenagers. Should I let her know what I think of her or it would be too risky and I should just remain silent ?

Keep in mind that I'm still learning social conventions and that it was the first time I had a rendezvous with a girl.

Thank you for your answers :)



DystopianShadows
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27 Nov 2018, 8:57 pm

Flirting is something I have absolutely no idea about. In fact, several years ago a friend had to point out to me that a guy was flirting with me because I'm so clueless. It didn't really hit me until about an hour later. Yeah, I'm that much of a scatterbrain. :lol:


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kazanscube
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28 Nov 2018, 9:45 am

DystopianShadows wrote:
Flirting is something I have absolutely no idea about. In fact, several years ago a friend had to point out to me that a guy was flirting with me because I'm so clueless. It didn't really hit me until about an hour later. Yeah, I'm that much of a scatterbrain. :lol:



Hey, don't feel bad, as I've never been able to understand the social norms of such for centuries now.


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Arronax
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30 Nov 2018, 4:51 pm

Flirting to me is staring at other women until they call the police.