Dating sites - do they actually work?

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Alliekit
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09 Feb 2017, 11:44 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ In all my posts here I made sure to include "in general" or "typically" or "most" - so you are just being unfair.

But nothing is working with you both, honestly, even when we are not saying it's all women you are just taking it personally every time; so from now on I am gonna bug you whenever you talk bad about any % of men - tit for tat; how about that?


I don't bug you on all your posts, to be honest I rarely pay attention to who the post belongs too until I reply :roll:

If you feel the need to target me to make yourself feel better than so be it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Feb 2017, 2:08 pm

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ In all my posts here I made sure to include "in general" or "typically" or "most" - so you are just being unfair.

But nothing is working with you both, honestly, even when we are not saying it's all women you are just taking it personally every time; so from now on I am gonna bug you whenever you talk bad about any % of men - tit for tat; how about that?


I don't bug you on all your posts, to be honest I rarely pay attention to who the post belongs too until I reply :roll:

If you feel the need to target me to make yourself feel better than so be it.



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HouseOfMadpeak
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09 Feb 2017, 4:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ In all my posts here I made sure to include "in general" or "typically" or "most" - so you are just being unfair.

But nothing is working with you both, honestly, even when we are not saying it's all women you are just taking it personally every time; so from now on I am gonna bug you whenever you talk bad about any % of men - tit for tat; how about that?


I have that habit too, and yesterday when I was reading some threads I realized that it probably sounds offensive to say "Most/many/a lot of guys do ____." I'm sorry for previous posts (of the few I have written) that have sounded like they were accusing groups of people of being bad.

For me, I will try to say "Many women experience ____" instead. I think that should sound less like it is saying that a group of people are mostly participating in certain bad behaviours. Especially since a bad behaviour stands out a lot more than neutral or positive behaviours. It can feel like more people engage in the bad behaviour than actually do. Or it could even be the same individuals, who are not the majority, just doing these behaviours to a large number of people.



Alliekit
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09 Feb 2017, 4:50 pm

HouseOfMadpeak wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ In all my posts here I made sure to include "in general" or "typically" or "most" - so you are just being unfair.

But nothing is working with you both, honestly, even when we are not saying it's all women you are just taking it personally every time; so from now on I am gonna bug you whenever you talk bad about any % of men - tit for tat; how about that?


I have that habit too, and yesterday when I was reading some threads I realized that it probably sounds offensive to say "Most/many/a lot of guys do ____." I'm sorry for previous posts (of the few I have written) that have sounded like they were accusing groups of people of being bad.

For me, I will try to say "Many women experience ____" instead. I think that should sound less like it is saying that a group of people are mostly participating in certain bad behaviours. Especially since a bad behaviour stands out a lot more than neutral or positive behaviours. It can feel like more people engage in the bad behaviour than actually do. Or it could even be the same individuals, who are not the majority, just doing these behaviours to a large number of people.


Dont worry about it too much. He choose respond to my comment about the situation and not your comment (which i was only agreeing with) so clearly he is making a target out of me because i dont 'respect' him like he feels i should



HouseOfMadpeak
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09 Feb 2017, 4:59 pm

314pe wrote:
Most people are shallow, but IRL they can hide it better with words like spark and chemistry.


IRL most people would be far less likely to approach these people who are not on the same level. The internet gives the illusion of excess beautiful people and proximity.

We are told that being shallow is bad, this is especially true for women (there is an excuse going around that says men are visual, while women are not), so even if someone is shallow (IRL or online), they will say that they care more about personality. But they will still seek out a person who they are attracted to.

To be realistic we should understand where we stand as individuals. If we have not been able to date beautiful people and are adults, then unless we have an image transformation (or gain fame or wealth), it is going to be unlikely in the future. Especially over age 25. If we know we are attracted to someone just for how they look, we can be conscious of that and decide to look for things that are more realistic for our levels.

People who want to be accepted for who they are, rather than how they look, should not get mad at beautiful people for being shallow. Do people see why that's ridiculous? "This attractive person is shallow for not liking me, but I can only be attracted to beautiful people." I have met many people (men and women) who were like this. There standards were so high but their options were very limited.



HouseOfMadpeak
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09 Feb 2017, 5:00 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Dont worry about it too much. He choose respond to my comment about the situation and not your comment (which i was only agreeing with) so clearly he is making a target out of me because i dont 'respect' him like he feels i should


Okay. :o

I am new so I am not sure about people's relationships with other members.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Feb 2017, 5:21 pm

HouseOfMadpeak wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Dont worry about it too much. He choose respond to my comment about the situation and not your comment (which i was only agreeing with) so clearly he is making a target out of me because i dont 'respect' him like he feels i should


Okay. :o

I am new so I am not sure about people's relationships with other members.



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RetroGamer87
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10 Feb 2017, 6:49 am

Please continue fighting you lot. Your banal arguing distract me from the pointless vapidity of my existence.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Feb 2017, 6:57 am



Shahunshah
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10 Feb 2017, 6:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Boo why do you do the stuff you do?

I mean really what good are these posts?



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10 Feb 2017, 7:27 am

Boo, you're really hung up on your height aren't you.

IDK, maybe some women don't like short guys.

It's sort of like how certain women avoid me because I never went to university.


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Alliekit
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10 Feb 2017, 12:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:


But why do you even care. In another thread you have already said romantic love doesn't exist. So why do you care? (Genuine question )



TUAndrew
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10 Feb 2017, 4:56 pm

They can do, but rather than dating sites I prefer other social websites as I met my former partner on one. The problem with dating sites rather than themed social sites is that everyone's so busy looking for the cookie-cut bf/gf that there isn't much focus on things which really strengthen long-term relationships, such as what your hobbies and passions are. Of course dating sites would often let you list your hobbies, but if the focus isn't there then there's really no point.

Another strange thing about dating sites is that there's so much subtext. I found with Plenty Of Fish they have the profile question asking "have you got a car?" Now that question sounds simple enough, but of course we all know that that's not really what they're asking; they're actualy asking if you can afford one. I want to give the true answer of:
"I have a full driving licence and I can afford a car if I really needed one for work, but I don't literally have a car at this moment." But because of the drop-down answer options I'm forced to pick "yes" or "no".



Peacesells
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10 Feb 2017, 5:08 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Boo, you're really hung up on your height aren't you.

Is he, or are these women he talks about? I think it's the latter.



HouseOfMadpeak
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10 Feb 2017, 5:14 pm

TUAndrew wrote:
They can do, but rather than dating sites I prefer other social websites as I met my former partner on one. The problem with dating sites rather than themed social sites is that everyone's so busy looking for the cookie-cut bf/gf that there isn't much focus on things which really strengthen long-term relationships, such as what your hobbies and passions are. Of course dating sites would often let you list your hobbies, but if the focus isn't there then there's really no point.


I agree with that. It feels so forced, and people seem to think that if they don't date people, or find someone they like, then they should just find anyone.

I prefer meet up type things, where it isn't about dating and love, more about meeting people and maybe friendships as the basis. Except I have social anxiety so I never go to any....



HouseOfMadpeak
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10 Feb 2017, 5:29 pm

For shorter/short guys, the problem is mostly that there is a lot of bitterness, insecurity, and blame placed on women. When I dated a shorter guy (he was taller than me since I am 5'1.5), he used to be mean to me because he felt insecure about his height. He would pick on things about me, and my exbfs. It didn't make him taller, or more popular.

Actually, most of the problem comes from other people telling them it is weird or wrong. There are so many who are not involved (in the relationship) telling people that you should date a taller guy, a shorter girl, a younger girl, older guy, richer guy, more attractive person, etc.

People force their ideals on others and try to shame them into feeling they are wrong for not following what someone else thinks, or wants to be standard. Or they are just arrogant and grandiose.

I saw this in another thread where two women were sh*tting on a certain type of guy because it isn't their type. Saying it's wrong and weird for them to be something else.

That's why people get bullied.

That's why people feel insecure.

Don't force a standard on other people, accept people for their differences.

I know women who are taller (5'7+) who said they wouldn't date shorter guys, but then they meet someone they like who is shorter than they are, and they don't care. I dated tall guys (over 6') who said they prefer taller girls, but I am not tall.

It can feel really horrible if you don't fit into a group that is claimed to be the ideal, but most things will be overlooked. Being short can be masked by being interesting, cool, attractive, intelligent, etc. If the people you meet or want to date are that shallow, then it might be better to look for a different type of person to pursue.

Edit: used the wrong word in a sentence.