Hello! getting a diagnosis

Post Reply New Topic

Hi! I have been looking into Autism/Asperger's for my 8yo son and the more I find out the more I realize that I am probably an Aspie too. It would answer a LOT of questions from my life, TONS! My husband and I are going to be looking into getting our son diagnosed but would there be any point in ME getting a diagnosis? I have a bachelor's degree (which I got partly while a single mom), I don't work but have and could, I don't have any serious difficulties, it's just been harder than I thought it should be. I just wonder if there is some reason that a diagnosis might be helpful at my age that I'm not thinking of, or should I just keep focusing on helping my son? Thanks!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I had prepared a lengthy reply, thanking you all for your responses and giving you some details as to why I think I may be an Aspie and why I'm asking this question and then I lost internet and it was gone. Now I have to get ready for a trip. When I get back I'll type out my reply in Pages then copy it into here. Thanks for your patience!

Thank-you! that helps!

It helped me a lot at first to get confirmation, but I could hardly do anything at that time. It was helpful for getting some services and support in the community, but other than that, the outside world hasn't been helpful or understanding about my Aspergers. People still act the same with me, or don't even think I'm autistic sometimes.

Thank-you for the welcome and the replies! First off, I want to be clear that I do not just seek a label for the association in a more fad sense. In helping my son (who has more difficulty than I ever had) I’m learning/realizing some things about myself. There is clear undeniable evidence that I have ADHD (I’m like the poster child) as well as dyscalculia. There is some evidence of giftedness (more for my son than me, but mine is NOT academic) I am only profoundly good at one thing and that’s color: matching, theory. Let me give you some symptoms that I feel place me in the Aspie range.

First, I have never (until recently) felt truly connected to others. As a toddler I thought that my parents either didn’t love me or didn’t understand me at all. I realized only a few years ago that it was clearly the latter. I realized about 12-14 years ago the truth to the statement “To HAVE a friend you must first BE a friend.” Since then I have tried to remember to express my feelings toward others more. I Get stressed out in groups, even when it’s my family…maybe even more so. I have always had things that I obsess over, I have always had to have my socks organized by color and weight. I’ve always collected things, it used to be angels then once someone convinces me to abandon my collection I inevitably pick up a new one. Right now, one of the things I’m collecting is the long grey hairs that fall out, so that I can use them for practice when I have more grey than not and I’ll use Kool-aid to dye my hair blue, purple or pink, or maybe even a combo. I HAVE had jobs, but the only one I was actually successful required me to work mostly alone and only once a month meeting with a committee of three to share my findings. I got my bachelor’s degree mostly as a single mom. Once I was able to get past the general ed classes that I find very challenging subjects, I LOVED it! Most of my classes allowed me to work independently. Another thing my recent travels reminded me of is that the sound of dogs barking unnerves me.

Currently, I homeschool my son; relying on good, easy to follow curriculum and my husband’s math and science strengths to help balance things out. I also make and sell jewelry and occasionally take on an art student or two. Between helping my son and my recent travels I have been reviewing the last 20 or so years and I realize that I have gotten better and better over the years at managing, I’ve also gotten better at being comfortable in my own skin which has been a long time in coming.

My adult kids are great, I’m sure they will help me however I need if necessary in the future, I just wonder if a diagnosis would make a difference in obtaining service as an aging adult. Would care for a senior with dementia (or any other ailment) be easier obtained or more difficult to obtain? Would any of those issues LOOK different for someone on the spectrum compared to someone who is NT? I’m just thinking that before I even consider getting a diagnosis I consider the long range effects since I currently don’t need considerations for a job or anything other than relational issues with my loved ones, who don’t NEED to see a diagnosis. Thank-you all for your input, it is QUITE helpful.

Hi! I was just reading old posts here of mine and thought I would give an update for any who are interested. I went in to have my son tested shortly after my original post, I listed my reasons for wanting him tested for Autism, but they didn't even test him for it. They tested him and diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD but didn't even address my main academic concern-writing! I'm still irritated about it but have been finding resources and helps on my own for him to help with his social connection issues and writing troubles. We homeschool, so I'm able to allow him to use talk-to-text and other things for the writing, I'm also able to allow him to connect with people on his own terms so that his anxiety is lessened to a manageable degree. I still have not sought a diagnosis but am thinking that it might help with the feeling out of place issues. Thank you all for being so kind and welcoming!

I can only wish you happiness with your son.

For yourself...the site name "Wrong Planet" immediately spoke to me. I immediately thought "Yeah! It's like that!!" I got my diagnosis at age 64. I can't say I've yet gotten any practical benefit from the diagnosis but it felt so good to finally know what was going on. And I was old enough, happily retired enough, and hard-headed enough that I'm OK with the label (though, thanks to the Pandemic, I have not gotten to wear the label outside much).

Formal diagnosis at 60 - I didn't need it for anything other than to help me make sense of my life. One of the best things that I have ever done.

And totally agree about 'Wrong Planet' having resonance. I have felt like a misplaced alien since childhood.

Fortunately I get along with the natives most of the time these days.

Hope that all goes well with your son.

hello Ceallaigh
I understand your concern re your son and getting an evaluation for ASD.
I wonder if it may be worth you contacting one of the Autism charities in your area / country.

I do not live in the US so am not sure as to who the best charity is to contact,
however i did find the following:

autism society.org (US)

I would recommend that you persist, otherwise it will always be a wonder in the back of your mind.
A formal diagnosis can also result in your child being given the support he needs for his disability,
rather than be punished for what looks like misbehaviour which actually is not.

As for your own evaluation, I also recommend that you pursue this too.
As it will give you an insight into why you are the way you are, and as HippyGoth above mentioned,
will also give you a connection with your son.

They do say that ASD is an inherited condition, so if your son has ASD, then it is also likely that you or his father has also. Hope this info helps.