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Kitty4670
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29 Jan 2017, 11:27 pm

It is very confusing, most of the time I can feel & act very very immature, I can feel like I'm an immature teenager, other times I can feel & act like an adult, but an adult in her late 20s. I think I can not feel like an adult too much, cuz it's too much pressure & my Asperger make me feel that way. It is like I'm two different people in one.


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foxant
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30 Jan 2017, 1:00 am

i kinda understand what are you talking about. It's an emotional thing. many aspergher has some low emotional quotient so its kinda normal feel that way even if you are already an adult. for me, i guess even if i had all knowledge of the world, i would not feel like a fully adult. im almost 30 and i didnt had much emotional evolution since i was 13. society had a huge problem with adults who dont act like adults, i wish you the best to withstand this pressure.


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FandomConnection
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30 Jan 2017, 3:23 am

I mostly feel about 12 socially (or younger). I have trouble ordering for myself at restaurants etc. and have never had any inclination to pursue a romantic relationship (I don't understand how they work, anyway). I am also very intellectually advanced for my age (not to brag, I need to state that for my point), which is also confusing. When I was 8 I had the English reading comprehension of the average 18-year-old, and I have always been bored by the level of schoolwork (in all subjects). It's difficult when some people (classmates, teachers etc.) treat me sort of like an adult because of my academic capabilities, and my ability to make sensible and balanced decisions, but also treat me as very naive and sweet.

It is worth mentioning that I do not consider myself to have a family. I physically have parents, and a sibling, but they have never wanted a child who is not 'normal', and have constantly punished/berated me for being how I am. My parents are also manipulative, have caused me emotional and social damage, and do not support me emotionally. I don't feel that I have had a stable enough emotional upbringing to mature normally, so this may be the cause.


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PIgeek
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30 Jan 2017, 1:19 pm

feel very adult (and people think i am) when i talk and debate about human right, '60 music, legalization of weed&co. and my atheist vison of the world. but i think at least i am just a immature and childish 15 years old that use politic and controversial topics to get fun


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TuesdaysChild
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30 Jan 2017, 1:33 pm

FandomConnection wrote:
I am also very intellectually advanced for my age (not to brag, I need to state that for my point), which is also confusing. When I was 8 I had the English reading comprehension of the average 18-year-old, and I have always been bored by the level of schoolwork (in all subjects). It's difficult when some people (classmates, teachers etc.) treat me sort of like an adult because of my academic capabilities, and my ability to make sensible and balanced decisions, but also treat me as very naive and sweet.


This sounds very, very much like my own childhood, intellectual precociousness contrasted with immature/situationally inappropriate social skills. Did I say childhood? Because it's still pretty much true...


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IstominFan
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30 Jan 2017, 6:17 pm

That could also have described me. Academically I was above average, socially below average. I was also very serious about my academic studies, which didn't win me many friends. I was also physically clumsy, not athletic at all. Who could have imagined I'd be taking tennis lessons in my 50s. I can relate to everything FandomConnection and Tuesday's Child wrote, because that could be my life story, too.



Lumi
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30 Jan 2017, 6:50 pm

Is there a way to guess mental age (maybe a bit accurately)?


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EzraS
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31 Jan 2017, 12:50 am

I'm a combination of being mature and competent and needing to be looked after like a little child.



SteveSnow
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31 Jan 2017, 12:18 pm

I've immersed myself in social situations to try to learn how other adults act and I still feel like I belong with people much younger than I am on an emotional level. Intellectually I'm happy to discuss more age appropriate topics.


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the_phoenix
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31 Jan 2017, 12:23 pm

I can't resist, kitty4670,

... but two things come to mind whenever I see the title of this thread topic and your name as the thread starter:

1) I wonder how old you would be in cat years?

2) I wonder if your age is 4670?

... Please note that the above commentary is meant as good-natured humor. :)

...

As for figuring out my age ... :jester:



CockneyRebel
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31 Jan 2017, 12:30 pm

I don't really care what my actual age is. I do the things that make me happy. If the conformers don't like it, too bad.


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SocOfAutism
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31 Jan 2017, 12:51 pm

FandomConnection wrote:
It is worth mentioning that I do not consider myself to have a family. I physically have parents, and a sibling, but they have never wanted a child who is not 'normal', and have constantly punished/berated me for being how I am. My parents are also manipulative, have caused me emotional and social damage, and do not support me emotionally. I don't feel that I have had a stable enough emotional upbringing to mature normally, so this may be the cause.


That's awful. Really, it's awful.

Maybe it's good that you realize this early and can just move on from it.

You know, a long time ago in some college class I had this story in an assignment. I lost it so I have no idea what this story was called or who wrote it. It was about an angel who was on earth. It was written very realistically, so you were to believe that there was for real an angel, with the wings and all, walking around on earth. At first everyone loved and adored him and marveled over him. But then he didn't DO anything. He just walked around with his wings, which eventually grew raggedy. No miracles happened. People started to treat him like a poor old abused homeless dog. They laughed at him, threw rocks, wished he'd go away. The story had some weird anticlimatic ending...I think maybe the angel just lay down and died and no one learned their lesson.

I sure wish I hadn't lost that story because it's really stuck in my mind all these years. It was such a great example of how sometimes people don't appreciate something wonderful and different right in front of them- a miracle- that they can't control and maybe doesn't behave the way they think it should- but still a miracle.



the_phoenix
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31 Jan 2017, 1:01 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
I sure wish I hadn't lost that story because it's really stuck in my mind all these years. It was such a great example of how sometimes people don't appreciate something wonderful and different right in front of them- a miracle- that they can't control and maybe doesn't behave the way they think it should- but still a miracle.


Well, if you can't find the angel story, there's always the Bible.
In that one, humanity crucifies Christ.
You can see the parallels I'm sure.
But that's not the end of the story ...

Anyways, to make this a thread-related post,
are we figuring out age according to the AD calendar? :)



Tripodologia
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31 Jan 2017, 5:22 pm

I have people constantly think that I'm younger than I actually am, probably because of how I dress (not very feminine), the fact that I barely use make up, and because of having a small frame. Inside, I basically don't feel age at all. Depending on the situation I may feel like a fully grown-up adult (i.e. when at a work meeting), or like a little kid. Age to me is a very weird concept, all in all; I understand the physical and somewhat cognitive decline as one gets older, and things like executive issues and defiance as a teenager when the brain is still maturing, but to me, social expectations based on age don't really make sense.


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IstominFan
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31 Jan 2017, 9:26 pm

I have had both ends of the spectrum. Academically, my fellow students said I was smart, but too serious, which didn't win me friends. Emotionally and socially, I was immature for my age, which also didn't win me many friends. Years later, people told me they wanted to talk to me but they didn't know how. I think they wondered which me would show up that day, the serious, studious type or the little girl who appeared so clumsy and awkward she appeared to be mentally handicapped.