Selective Mutism

Post Reply New Topic

I have selective mutism. I had to go to special schools for kids with behavioral problems because nobody in the school system understood what was wrong with me. I was punished there for not being able to talk. My life was absolute hell. I didn't understand why I couldn't talk. I wanted to so badly, but when I tried, I froze. And I was taught that I was a bad person because of it. Before institutionalizing me, the county mental health department had me take an IQ test. Even though I could not communicate (verbally or otherwise) with the test administrator, I scored in the top 98 percentile on the test. Since I qualified for a special program for gifted kids, they took me out of the abusive school for future felons and ignored the fact that I was non-verbal. I still never received any kind of help for selective mutism. They just thought that since I was "gifted" it didn't matter if something was wrong with me. All through school, I wet my pants because I couldn't ask to go to the bathroom. I couldn't cough, so I would sit there with my eyes watering terribly, holding back a cough. I would get diarrhea when we had a substitute teacher because I was afraid they would call on me in class, not knowing I was mute, and I would get punished for not being able to speak. I gradually got better, but never cured. Even as an adult, I could not order food at a restaurant- whether it was inside or the drive-thru. I didn't know anyone else with this condition until I joined this forum. I never even knew anyone who had heard of selective mutism.