What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

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Sofisol612
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16 Feb 2017, 3:31 pm

Hi everyone! My parents only told me last month that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a child, and have been doing some research on it since then.

The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?


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Lunella
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16 Feb 2017, 5:03 pm

As long as you're not hurting yourself then go for it. But yeah I guess that's pretty standard, perhaps you could maybe look at going to the gym or a boxing gym to help with when you feel frustrated? Just that it may be a bit healthier if you feel comfortable enough.


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Sofisol612
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17 Feb 2017, 10:41 am

I never hurt myself on purpose. I do go to the gym, but that's something I do when I feel bored, have nothing else to do or just have too much energy and need to do something about it. When I'm frustrated it's different: it usually happens when I have a strong argument with somebody and can't find the way to make people understand me, or when I make some big mistake and someone criticizes me. I can't hold my reaction until I put my gym clothes on and walk for fifteen minutes to get there. My tears flow out almost instantly.

On the other hand, physical activity has helped me a lot to cope with negative feelings and ideas in times when I had enough control over my actions to plan these "outings" and carry them out.


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17 Feb 2017, 1:21 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated.


This is very much like me.



dossa
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17 Feb 2017, 2:35 pm

I tend to get physical/violent when I have meltdowns. I throw/hit/break things and usually scream and yell while going ballistic. I have a designated corner in my basement where I can go on 'dossa smash mode' when I need to in an effort to try to not damage myself or my house. I'm sure I look like a lunatic while doing this. Heh. But I break a lot less phones and put a lot less holes in my walls this way.

From what you describe though, I would say yeah, it sounds to me that what you have going on is a meltdown. I know for me, it is something I cannot help or stop... it's just gonna happen, and it's going to keep happening until it runs its course... like I can't say oh I'm going to fall apart for three minutes and then I'll quit. It's like that stuff sets its own timer. But yeah, the lack of control at the onset speaks volumes to me.


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17 Feb 2017, 2:39 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
I never hurt myself on purpose. I do go to the gym, but that's something I do when I feel bored, have nothing else to do or just have too much energy and need to do something about it. When I'm frustrated it's different: it usually happens when I have a strong argument with somebody and can't find the way to make people understand me, or when I make some big mistake and someone criticizes me. I can't hold my reaction until I put my gym clothes on and walk for fifteen minutes to get there. My tears flow out almost instantly.

On the other hand, physical activity has helped me a lot to cope with negative feelings and ideas in times when I had enough control over my actions to plan these "outings" and carry them out.


Well, it's an inconvenience but it's not unusual. I figure you just have to find your own coping strategies because it's different for everyone. Good thing you're going to the gym though, the exercise does burn a lot of that excess energy. Perhaps you could put more of the energy into a skill, maybe music or creating something? Also it seems like perhaps your emotions are playing up a bit, do you have anyone to vent to or anything like that? Telling someone about your frustrations usually helps, especially when someone else totally gets you and you can learn from. Maybe even befriend a couple of people with the same problems you're having.


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Sofisol612
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17 Feb 2017, 6:40 pm

I have a psychologist to whom I tell most of my troubles and I can usually trust my parents, but this has recently changed...

A few weeks ago, while my parents were away on holidays, I had a talk with my sister, who is studying to be a psychologist, and she revealed to me that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. So I have just learned of my diagnosis, and I know my parents never told me because they didn't want me to know. They wanted me to grow up thinking I was NT, and maybe even become one with time. So then I had to cope with the news without telling them what was happening to me, because I didn't want to confront them for not telling me. I got depressed, and I had meltdowns like these every day for a week.

I have made some research now and am learning to accept myself, even if they don't. It's been many days since my last 'crying fit' now, so I think things are getting better.


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lostonearth35
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24 Feb 2017, 4:56 pm

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24 Feb 2017, 5:41 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
Hi everyone! My parents only told me last month that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a child, and have been doing some research on it since then.

The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?


Yes
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but I used to do the yelling and smashing stuff as well till my 20s. Not anymore though.
Mindfulness & therapy helped me bunches.



kdm1984
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25 Feb 2017, 11:03 pm

Yelling and throwing things.

I actually got in trouble for yelling at a student last week. I'm now done with being a substitute teacher again, at least for awhile.



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27 Feb 2017, 7:32 am

I just had one this morning, angry, throwing things, then broke down and cried on the bed. I couldn't stop crying, and all because the shower suddenly stopped working and I couldn't have a shower, which messed up my morning routine and left me feeling dirty and smelly too.



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07 Mar 2017, 11:47 am

Those are pretty much mine, except that I trained myself not to cry years and years and years ago (something I'm now trying to reverse), so instead I tend to scream and bellow.

Sometimes I still kick things. Not very often. I did have to go hide down by the creak and scream and kick trees the day my grandmother died (about a month ago). Once in a great while, I beat the living crap out of a pillow (I mean seriously; when I'm done I have to pick up the stuffing and put the whole mess in a trash bag).

When I was younger (teenager), I used to punch walls and break stuff. I had one wall I was allowed to hit, and I was allowed to walk up on the ridge to where people went to drink and smash all the bottles I wanted.

I don't have them very often any more. I do, however, use a really prolific amount of profanity and gripe a lot when things don't work right.

I don't think you can ever really stop them from happening. You can learn to recognize the signs and get out of a situation before you lose it in an uncontrolled, public, or dangerous manner, but-- sooner or later, you have to do something. Because if you don't, you either get really, really sick, or something explodes.

I think it's a pretty dangerous myth that has been propagated that mentally healthy, normal people never show sadness or anger.


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09 Mar 2017, 6:51 pm

I cry my eyes out during a meltdown. Being alone doesn't help though. When I tell someone, I do feel much better. I don't like to suffer alone.


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RandomFox
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08 Apr 2017, 1:07 pm

I cry and get totally non-verbal for a while. I need to be alone in my room, no people talking to me or touching me. I never get the yelling/smashing things type of a meltdown, just those crying mute ones.



Windigo
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08 Apr 2017, 1:46 pm

I don't really have typical meltdowns.

I just come across as confused or dreamy to NT's and am unable to process what they say to me, and need to be left alone in a quiet space for a while to rest and recover.

I usually apologize and say I am tired and they don't even notice anything unusual because I have a chronic physical illness too.


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