What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

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LaetiBlabla
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08 Apr 2017, 2:24 pm

I have noticed that it happens to me much more frequently when I am not rested enough.

The problem is that i sometimes do not realize that i am tired...

I cry and can't stop it and start breathing very fast and jerkily, feeling very much confused, sometimes i fall and sit on the floor. If people come and ask me to speak, i may start yelling and it is getting worse.


when I start crying:
- I try to quickly find a lonely place
- force myself to breathe very slow, or if worse, I stop breathing for 30 seconds, several times, this helps a lot
- shut down the lights
- sleep if I can

I think that sleeping good and enough is really the key. You too?



komamanga
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08 Apr 2017, 4:46 pm

I cry my lungs out and sometimes scream especially if the cause is auditory but never hit/throw/smash things. The worst I do is biting myself or hitting my head over and over again with my hands maybe but these are on rare occasions.
As many of you said I can't process spoken words or speak either during a meltdown. My movements generally slow down too.



alpacka
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10 Apr 2017, 9:18 am

Sofisol612 wrote:
Hi everyone! My parents only told me last month that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a child, and have been doing some research on it since then.

The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?


I also get that crying episodes but mostly just getting frustrating inside and then walk outside in a fast speed until it goes down. I´m not someone who is yelling or throw things, I´m more angry inside.


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LaetiBlabla
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10 Apr 2017, 1:27 pm

^^^Just love your avatar, well found :-)



RobotsAreReal
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11 Apr 2017, 6:24 pm

I don't know for sure if I'm autistic (I have just suspected it for nearly the past decade), but I also get "crying fits." Sometimes I can get them under control in around ten minutes, sometimes they last for 3+ hours. I can't control when and where I cry, so I did get lots of concerned talks from teachers in high school when I did my best to inform them that I just "cry easily" because I did not have a better way to explain it. Sometimes I shake my hands or hit things, sometimes I do not. I don't scream when I cry anymore, but I did as a kid and was repeatedly sent to the principal's office for it. I don't think I would count this as going nonverbal since I think it's a common physical reaction to the crying/rapid heart beat, but often right after crying my throat sort of closes up so I can't make any sounds other than squeaks/sobs for a while.



Booboo22
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14 Apr 2017, 9:13 am

I find during a meltdown, the reason why I'm having one is because I'm frustrated that I can't understand something, particularly with social situations. I don't understand them, they don't understand me and I can't fix it. I get very worked up when my logic doesn't work when in a social conversation. And that person still doesn't understand no matter how hard I try.
I get the urge to act out physically but have no outlet for it because I have nothing that will satisfy my rage without causing damage plus i have a physical problem that causes weak muscles, so even if I can release it, I don't have the energy. So it causes more frustration until I cry hysterically. Talking to people can help, but I do it so often I feel people are tired of me. Plus they can't understand my over the top emotions associated with a meltdown and why I'm so intense. No one understands.



crystaltermination
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14 Apr 2017, 9:24 am

The term 'meltdown' was not something I was familiar with even for a while after my diagnosis.
It's a given that I did have rage fits as a child. One of the worst times this happened - I was swearing/shouting, had locked myself in the bathroom - actually caused me to burst some blood vessels in one of my eyes. I laugh about it now considering (at least one eye) did literally go red with rage.
But presently as an adult most of my emotional excesses are internalised. I never feel like I'm about to explode: I feel like I'm about to implode, hard to judge how often it happens, though. There's an insidious pressure throughout my whole body like a balloon filling up to the point where it will certainly burst, but doesn't/can't. It just feels different, somehow. I'll start pacing around aimlessly, my hands get all full of energy. I often find I'll be thinking angry thoughts about various past individuals or events that I have difficulty reconciling. I will get so upset I often outburst, physically, against myself. Whack myself hard on the head, or bash it against something. That last happened about a month ago. I had a rather incriminating bruise on my forehead leading into my hairline for over a week after which raised awkward questions. I'm just really, terminally stupid sometimes, but I think what upsets me the worst when thinking about all these things is that these episodes happen in complete silence.


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17 Apr 2017, 12:55 pm

it's an internalized affair for me as well. i can also repress them to an extent.
rage is directed towards myself and and anyone or anything else that is hurt is a consequence, not an intention.

everything is too much all at once, my heart races and i feel very hot and flushed, and the pressure keeps building inside until it forces its way out of me whether i like it or not. my head is a water balloon and becomes so filled that it bursts inside of my scull, and the tears like, drip, out of my eyes at first but quickly i need to really cry hard because the pressure hurts and i can't contain it. sometimes it presents as just crying, but there is screaming sometimes as well. banging on myself/otherwise hurting myself (although i'm much better with this now than i used to be). cannot process external-anything, cannot speak words. cannot breathe (gasping for air, choking on air).

the best thing to do when i know i'm on the edge of a meltdown is to find a dark, quiet space with a blanket or at least something to contain my body, put my headphones on, curl up into as tight of a ball as possible, and rock myself. alone. but of course it isn't always possible to make it to this space.

i have had the most problems with people trying to stop me in the process of a meltdown, which is understandable when i'm actually badly hurting myself but not helpful at all besides that. it makes me feel even more frustrated and overwhelmed. another thing is, once i've calmed down i shouldn't be held or consoled like NTs tend to think is helpful. it's not.

for recovery from a meltdown i can't eat for awhile but i like to have a drink that replenishes electrolytes. water with a squeeze of citrus and a pinch of salt, coconut water, or other electrolytey beverages. i may take a dose of ibuprofen for the lasting headache/other injury.



Edna3362
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17 Apr 2017, 7:25 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?

When I was a child, this happens almost everyday. Not just at home, but at school and at public too.
Most often whenever I go to school, and likely involves people.

.. But I have not had any meltdowns in years (whether it's internalized or externalized).
Last time I ever had a meltdown was when I was around 16. If I recall, it's a bit similar to what you described... Except more violent and louder.
And the last time I ever had a shutdown was more than a year ago.


It's not like I know how to actually suppress it.
It just the heat from frustration died before it happened, let alone overwhelm. Instead of anger out of frustration, it's this internal eye-rolling or some fatalistic shrug or some impatient sigh. No internal cringing or stopping myself because it the internal rage died.
At worst I just grumble and rant about it quietly, and then get on with it. Not worrying about it afterwards.

So the only way for me to have a shutdown is flat out overwhelm me in a single moment instead of gradual buildup.


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TheSilentOne
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20 Apr 2017, 6:55 pm

For me, meltdowns usually involve self-injury, whether it be cutting myself, hitting myself, or biting myself. I will sometimes scream and/or cry. I will also flail my arms around and start speaking really fast and quietly or sometimes I am unable to speak at all.


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bunnyb
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23 Apr 2017, 9:54 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
I have a psychologist to whom I tell most of my troubles and I can usually trust my parents, but this has recently changed...

A few weeks ago, while my parents were away on holidays, I had a talk with my sister, who is studying to be a psychologist, and she revealed to me that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. So I have just learned of my diagnosis, and I know my parents never told me because they didn't want me to know. They wanted me to grow up thinking I was NT, and maybe even become one with time. So then I had to cope with the news without telling them what was happening to me, because I didn't want to confront them for not telling me. I got depressed, and I had meltdowns like these every day for a week.

I have made some research now and am learning to accept myself, even if they don't. It's been many days since my last 'crying fit' now, so I think things are getting better.


Wow. I hope your sister doesn't become a psychologist. What a damaging and reckless thing to do especially as your parents were away. She really gave you a double whammy. Your diagnosis and knowledge of the cover up. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :(



KissMyDirndl
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03 Jun 2017, 7:28 pm

Yelling, frantic pacing, talking a mile a minute, choking on your words because you are thinking faster than you are speaking, adrenaline rush, crying, urge to punch or stomp, lots of cursing. LOL.


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cybele
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18 Jun 2017, 7:26 am

I don't have tantrums, I shut down. I'm unable to speak or process information and my heart races. I panic, quite simply. It's hopeless once it's started, to get over it I need to rest in a dark and quiet room.



HoneyB33
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19 Jun 2017, 1:59 pm

Your parents didn't tell you? That is so wrong. I'm sorry that's putting such stress on your trust of them.

When I think of how I have learned that I have AS at the age of 27--I think I'm kind of grateful that I didn't know when I was younger (This is 100% my personal opinion, and NO one needs to agree with me.) For me though, I wish I learned around 20. I think learning later in life really helped me to develop more true to myself. And I think if I had known when I was younger, I would have looked at myself as different, and even less. Because I had to fight so much to know that THIS was who I am (without knowing who that exactly was), I didn't feel like I was disabled or whatever. I think with the environment I was in as a child, knowing I had AS BEFORE I had the full adult mind to see it in a good light, I think it would have actually made me feel less than other ppl at the time.

I do wish that I could have learned around 20 though, because without knowing, I ended up seeing myself in some pretty bad light. My anger for example, in my meltdowns! I was so afraid that I was a bad partner or person because of it, but for me I NEED to explode when I need to explode. It's SO healthy for me. I'm learning to not THROW things, thank God. But screaming and punching things is so healthy for me.

I got in a really bad relationship in which the person slowly tried to convince me that I was abusive and basically a terrible person. Without knowing I had AS, it was really hard to have anything to stand on. I kind of self destructed for a few years, and in learning about AS I've slowly been able to take back the truth of who I am.

I think it's wrong what your parents did, and you have every reason to be upset with them. That information is CRAZY important to your wholeness and sanity. I am glad that you're figuring it out now, no thanks to them.



Sofisol612
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28 Jun 2017, 6:01 pm

bunnyb wrote:
Sofisol612 wrote:
I have a psychologist to whom I tell most of my troubles and I can usually trust my parents, but this has recently changed...

A few weeks ago, while my parents were away on holidays, I had a talk with my sister, who is studying to be a psychologist, and she revealed to me that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. So I have just learned of my diagnosis, and I know my parents never told me because they didn't want me to know. They wanted me to grow up thinking I was NT, and maybe even become one with time. So then I had to cope with the news without telling them what was happening to me, because I didn't want to confront them for not telling me. I got depressed, and I had meltdowns like these every day for a week.

I have made some research now and am learning to accept myself, even if they don't. It's been many days since my last 'crying fit' now, so I think things are getting better.


Wow. I hope your sister doesn't become a psychologist. What a damaging and reckless thing to do especially as your parents were away. She really gave you a double whammy. Your diagnosis and knowledge of the cover up. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :(


Well, it was a really hard time for me, but I was basically asking for it. She was telling me that she wished to work with children when she graduated and I made a comment about my first psychologist, the one that treated me when I was a child. And then I said I found it weird that she had seen me for 8 years and, in spite of all my behavioral problems, she had never diagnosed me with anything. So my sister corrected me, revealing that I had, in fact, been diagnosed and, at my insistence, she told me what the diagnosis was. So it was mostly my fault, I think.

The past few months have been awful, but now things are getting better, and it's been weeks since my last meltdown.


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