What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

Page 4 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

BCTucker
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 47
Location: Iowa

09 Nov 2017, 4:33 pm

Having just had one, the biggest thing that sticks for me out beyond the sudden uncontrollable crying is an intense desire to "go home"....even when I am home.



Windigo
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2015
Age: 32
Posts: 105
Location: Netherlands

11 Nov 2017, 2:09 am

I just shut down. Am unable to process what other people say, unable to speak, completely brainfogged.

Usually look like I am going to faint.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200


rio76
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 9 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 23

11 Nov 2017, 5:24 am

throwing things and breaking them. things i had broken include a laptop...

shutting down and not speaking for several days



Retta10Grams
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 4 Nov 2017
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

12 Nov 2017, 7:05 am

BCTucker wrote:
Having just had one, the biggest thing that sticks for me out beyond the sudden uncontrollable crying is an intense desire to "go home"....even when I am home.


Oh my god, I didn't know anyone else has had that feeling as well...

I think I'm going through a burnout currently, noticed that I've been crying again at random for the last couple of days (not related to hormonal oscillations), even though I'm going to bed really early, I still wake up really tired and when I get to work, I just wait for the shift to end so I can go home and be alone and sleep. Had a huge fight with parents over nothing. Sunlight is making me anxiety even worse and any idea of human contact is also worsening it.


_________________
And in the telling of a story,
I lose my way inside a prepositional phrase.

Wye Oak


Sofisol612
Raven
Raven

Joined: 15 Feb 2017
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 109

12 Nov 2017, 10:02 am

Retta10Grams wrote:
Crying; I've only recently noticed that I don't usually cry when I'm sad, although that happens to. I think that most of the time I cry because I've been bottling up stuff and it all pours out when I'm alone and have a day (or afternoon) off from work. I'm starting to embrace it as a form of catharsis.

Anger; I used to get really frustrated, even though I didn't know it was frustration that lead to anger due to the fact that I was frustrated. I used to throw and break things as a sort of physical manifestation of what I was feeling. It mostly happened with my ex-so, when I felt that I wasn't understood. It was either a way of explaining myself, sometimes just uncontrollable frustration. I've learned about delayed emotional processing just recently and it kinda explains when I would start feeling frustrated or anxious about stuff I thought didn't bother me at the time when they happened. I would feel extremely distressed/anxious/angry and would just start slamming the doors or throwing stuff.

(...)

Reading about ASD has been helping me a great deal, when I start feeling overworked, I know what's going to happen when I get a day off, so I prepare myself for that. I don't punish myself for feeling like that anymore, I just try going with it and letting it all out in a controlled environment.

It's kinda funny realizing that you didn't know how you actually felt. It's common knowledge that if you act like a little Hulk you're just angry or if you cry you're just sad, so naturally you start feeling like a lesser being for being angry at small stuff. I've been learning to express my frustration as clearly as possible and it's helping quite a bit.

I no longer feel like a bad person when my brain goes a little bad, if that makes any sense.


I can relate a lot to all of this. As a child I thought I was sad when I had a crying meltdown or that I was angry when I had a violent meltdown, but now I know my feelings during my meltdowns are usually either frustration or extreme stress, and they are often caused by my fear of doing (or having done) something terribly wrong, people not understanding me or some specific external triggers. Sometimes I have a delayed processing too, such as last week, when my therapist sent me a message via Whattsapp a few hours before my appointment to cancel it, telling me she could not see me that week. I was in the tube on my way home from college. I replied to her just fine, but when I got home that afternoon I started crying. Nothing else had happened to me that day to provoke the meltdown, so I´m sure it was caused by the suddenly cancelled appointment and the fact that my therapist didn´t give me a reason for it. My reaction was delayed for more than half an hour to allow me to get home before melting down.


_________________
Professionally diagnosed with PDD NOS as a child, but only told by my parents at the age of 21.

Autism Quotient: 30
Aspie quiz: 123/200 aspie; 75/200 NT
RAADS: 135


BCTucker
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 47
Location: Iowa

16 Nov 2017, 6:28 pm

Retta10Grams wrote:
BCTucker wrote:
Having just had one, the biggest thing that sticks for me out beyond the sudden uncontrollable crying is an intense desire to "go home"....even when I am home.


Oh my god, I didn't know anyone else has had that feeling as well...
.


I definitely also thought I was alone on the feeling of wanting to go home. Maybe that's that intrinsic feeling of being on the "wrong planet" coming out quite literally....



Retta10Grams
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 4 Nov 2017
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

19 Nov 2017, 10:00 am

Don't mean to be inappropriate, but "ET go home" :) I could never watch that movie past the first 15min or so, it made me cry so bad.


_________________
And in the telling of a story,
I lose my way inside a prepositional phrase.

Wye Oak


PurpleMoongirl
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 23 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 5
Location: Someplace

25 Nov 2017, 11:44 am

[/quote]I think I'm going through a burnout currently, noticed that I've been crying again at random for the last couple of days (not related to hormonal oscillations), even though I'm going to bed really early, I still wake up really tired and when I get to work, I just wait for the shift to end so I can go home and be alone and sleep. Had a huge fight with parents over nothing. Sunlight is making me anxiety even worse and any idea of human contact is also worsening it.[/quote]
_____________________________________________
(purplemoongirl)
Especually to do with hormome fluctations i used to blame my severe mood swings on them but... there is no pattern. my menstrual cycle has no definate cycle but sometimes i get no mood swings at all and no pms at all.

With anger its more fustation and it feels like liquid fire that you have to get out somehow.
And i break down into uncontrollable crying or cry at the smallest problem for weeks.
Anyone elae had this? i can sometimes link it to stress. :o :?:
Is it just hormones? I feel like i cant control my emotions when this happens its so strong.



Cherina
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 27 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Australia

02 Dec 2017, 1:35 am

I am a door slammer , I will yell and throw things, but only in certain situations, otherwise I hyperventilate and shut down and ignore everyone.



Goldenhawk
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: England

02 Dec 2017, 7:32 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated.


Yep, this is me. Doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing or how hard I try and control it or how appropriate or not the reaction is, if I get too stressed or frustrated, then the tears start to flow and I can do absolutely nothing to stop it. I can sometimes catch myself when I recognise the stress building up and remove myself from the situation. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work as it's not always possible to get away from the cause of the stress or frustration.

It's even worse trying to explain to good natured colleagues why I'm crying in the middle of a meltdown and why I really DON'T want to be touched or comforted and they should just let me calm down in my own way.

BCTucker wrote:
Having just had one, the biggest thing that sticks for me out beyond the sudden uncontrollable crying is an intense desire to "go home"....even when I am home.


Yes, this also. I used actually repeat this phrase when having a meltdown when I was a kid. It confused my parents when I would say it when I was actually at home. I figured I MUST have been adopted or some sort of alien since I never really fit in with everyone else.

I also get shutdowns and just don't talk to anyone for a while, can't process what anyone is saying and just retreat into my own head. I can usually recover after a few days/hours of just being left alone.



komamanga
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,343
Location: CzechRep.

03 Dec 2017, 6:39 am

Yesterday's meltdown as an adult woman:

I was forced to go to a pub by my sister, despite the fact that I'd told her that I wasn't feeling well.
Sister had a friend with her with a bunch of mental problems of himself who got obsessed with me and tried to talk. After sometime he was so pushy that I got into a shutdown and stopped talking. This time he started to push even harder and kept telling me to look at him and say a word and I started to cry. He took me out to the autopark near the pub to get some air and he kept telling me to look at him and if not he was going to think that I wasn't sane and do sth else. 'Look at me, talk to me, look at me, talk to me, look at me, talk to me...'
I started to scream while crying my eyes out, fell down on the floor and started to kick him while scratching on my eyes furiously. I also kept shouting 'why' and 'don't!' at him, while he tried to hug me and calm me down. A lot of people gathered around us. I couldn't talk for a couple of hours afterwards until I got home and hugged the cat.



blooiejagwa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,452

19 Dec 2017, 8:52 pm

Sofisol612 wrote:
Hi everyone! My parents only told me last month that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a child, and have been doing some research on it since then.

The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?


I do this. my ex Husband told me i was crazy because i cry so much.
i think it's normal for aspergers and autism, from what i have read in books (eg the 'try this!' compilation involving tony attwood, and many autistic contributors).
that might make you feel better.
i suspect my mom haS ASPERGERS too and she always designated a room in the basement as the 'screaming room' where anyone can go and cry and scream. i think she thought of it for herself, mainly.



AntisocialButterfly
Raven
Raven

Joined: 12 Dec 2017
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 110

20 Dec 2017, 7:53 am

I don't think as an adult I meltdown much, I used to a lot as a child now I think I just shut down. I dissociate and everything feels strange and loud and horrible and everything goes fuzzy and I just have to wait it out.



plokijuh
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 19 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 223

21 Dec 2017, 5:08 pm

This is so helpful reading. I'm not diagnosed yet (I've had 2/3 of my appointments (one chat, one childhood digest) for diagnosis, but psychologist said she can't see it going any other way). I had no idea there were other people in the world with my particular brand of restabilising.

For me melt downs always come when I've been pushed by other people beyond my social capacity (either for too long or too many people, or forcing me to just try harder to be normal) or when I'm caught in some kind of emotional uncertainty (e.g. I'm unable to know whether my husband is telling me he's not mad because he's not or because he wants to not finish the conversation - I can't stand leaving things unresolved, but my inability to read the situation makes me like a doggard interrogator, which inevitably makes it worse). First I just start to get agitated, physically and i stutter, all my hand flapping and pacing etc starts to get worse, then i become like a fountain of raw emotion just trying to find any semblance of logical stability. The only way from here is to cry and rock and/or talk it out. I don't need/want anyone else to talk but really need to be heard so that I can refind my way back to logical thinking (if no one is listening it's like I just get caught in a loop) and eventually it dissipates. It's like a horrible emotion storm that once it hits there's no way except through it. It's utterly exhausting and when it's over I just need to be alone and sleep for a really long time. I'm learning that if I am allowed to do what i need before it gets to this (be alone in the quiet, or just get an honest answer in the second example) then all that needs to happen is for me to be alone to get what I need and no one else is needed. I hate needing to involve anyone else so I prefer that to happen.

I also get an overwhelming desire for everything to end. For years I thought it was suicidal, but I don't think I want to die, I just want my mind and my body to stop feeling and thinking. I always loved when Leia switches c3p0 off because I've always identified a little with c3p0 and I just wish I had an off switch!


_________________
Diagnosed ASD

AQ: 42 (Scores in the 33-50 range indicate significant Austistic traits)
RAADS-R: 165
RDOS: Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 44 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


blooiejagwa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,452

25 Dec 2017, 10:15 pm

I had them for the past 2 days. It was basically me balled up rocking back and forth and sobbing.

Luckily my kids were really sweet and kept hugging me.

When I was married I never ever displayed a meltdown in front of my husband. I would go into an empty room maybe or taper it off in the day when he was at work.

Going on walks in nature is something that keeps them at bay but it’s really hard with such tiny kids... one who stumbles n falls and needs a specialty stroller/wheelchair



cron