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Joined: 11 Feb 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 496
Location: New Zealand

21 Feb 2017, 7:53 pm

NT's are weird as hell.
They go to great lengths to hide it.
Including not having an opinion or agreeing when they actually oppose.
There are some 'rebels' that do what they want, however this rebeliousness is limited.

What does this mean for those with Aspergers?
Well recently I read an article by a man that admits he is an absolute geek and he knows it repells women. He deals with this by not talking about geek stuff, and keeping his 'toys' out of sight. At least for the first week or so of courtship.
He isn't hiding anything, and most of the woman don't care once he has established a relationship with them.

I'm a vegan, but I tend not to tell people (heck I don't mention my AS either!), infact people love food I make - they even think it has meat in it. But if I ever told them, they might think I'm one of the screaming kind that will give them a lecture for buying a hamburger.
People do notice, and just say Im not a fan of meat, never have been, it doesn't appeal. I just brush the issue aside and tend to avoid giving any detail or having an indepth conversation about it. If they say "you're vegetarian" I respond with "I guess" very cavalier response.
The trick is to not seem intense, to appear bored. The last thing an NT wants to appear as is intense lol, so you can turn things around on them by being vague and uninterested.
If you appear to be bored by the conversation they'll switch to a more exciting subject, or you can do it for them by mentioning something exciting.
You can emphasis your boredom by giving short replies, yawning, even going full monotone.
If they question something you ate; "that had meat in it", I often respond with "are you certain about that?"
Or perhaps they'll interrogate you about having ever eaten meat just brush off any interrogations with "of coarse", and remember sound bored by the whole thing.
Never get irritated, that will be some peoples purpose, they might just be testing you to see if you're a fundamentalist.
This can apply to anything.
The guy I was refering to earlier has a model of the tower from Lord of the Rings. He is often questioned about it and other things. He explains what it is, that he likes it, then just casually moves on to other subjects.
You don't need to tone down any of your odd interests or perhaps some weird style. In fact if you are a punk you may in fact wish to attract like minded punks so appearing straightlaced would be counter productive. Although you could tone it down a little if you wanted to broaden your range of potential partners.
Just put some odd things to the side for a while. If you mention them do so in a very casual way "I play Chello with some mates on wednesday" - if queried, brush it off very casually with "some people have poker night, we have chello, I don't think its a big deal, I play darts with another friend is that okay?" Turn it back on them (not in an agressive or irritated way) so they can see that they are being judgemental.