Are most men struggling to get healthy weight women?

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nick007
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09 Dec 2017, 7:22 pm

My current girlfriend & my 2nd are pretty big but weight was not a factor for me when trying to find a girlfriend. I mostly just wanted someone who would give me a real chance & actually try to make a relationship work with me. I have alot of physical & mental disabilities & was single & looking for a long time so I wasn't too picky with what I wanted in a partner. I was about a normal wight when I got in all 3 relationships but I'm fat now because I started eating 3 meals a day due to the meds & supplements I'm on & I also binge eat. I used to eat one meal a day & pig out but now I eat 3 meals a day & pig out for at least one of em & also pig out on snacks. It also doesn't help that my girlfriend snacks because of depression which makes me want to snack too & I cant control myself when I start. The binging could be related to side-effects of meds I'm on but I'm not sure. I really need to start exercising again but I'm not binging quite as much now.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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09 Dec 2017, 7:45 pm

For me at least, weight is definitely not a deal breaker for me. If you're obsessed with your future partner's weight, you might want to re-evaluate yourself a bit.


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CockneyRebel
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10 Dec 2017, 10:24 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
For me at least, weight is definitely not a deal breaker for me. If you're obsessed with your future partner's weight, you might want to re-evaluate yourself a bit.


I was just going to say something along those lines. It's amazing how shallow people have become when it comes to the opposite sexes.


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RetroGamer87
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14 Dec 2017, 10:58 pm

I'm still struggling to get a healthy weight woman but if my girlfriend sticks to her diet I might succeed.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Dec 2017, 8:50 am

Esme wrote:
I'm having a similar issue trying to find men to date who aren't at either end of the 'spectrum' (i.e. either overweight OR muscled gym bunnies). I just want a lean, healthy guy who has a similar lifestyle to me. I can't stand junk food or sugar in the house and I like to stay active, so I don't think it's too weird to find guys who appear to follow that sort of routine more attractive. I have dated overweight guys and I've dated very muscley guys and couldn't force myself to be attracted to either. What you like it what you like. So I don't understand the shaming that some guys get when they say they want a slim girlfriend/wife. It's pretty natural to want a healthy mate. Yes, some people go for specific types outside of what the mainstream considers 'attractive' and that's totally fine. Men who say they love 'BBWs' or 'extra curvy' women generally get praised, whereas there is a clear double standard these days for men who say they prefer slim/toned women. I find it very odd.

And yeah, as some people have pointed out, two thirds of the population (if not more) in western countries like the USA or UK are now either overweight or obese. So those of us who stay a healthy weight are slowly becoming unicorns in society and our preferences seem to be considered increasingly socially taboo.



Are you really a female?



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Dec 2017, 8:51 am

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
For me at least, weight is definitely not a deal breaker for me. If you're obsessed with your future partner's weight, you might want to re-evaluate yourself a bit.


That’s the shaming Esme is talking about.



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15 Dec 2017, 7:44 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
For me at least, weight is definitely not a deal breaker for me. If you're obsessed with your future partner's weight, you might want to re-evaluate yourself a bit.


That’s the shaming Esme is talking about.


Exactly.

From my to point of view its common on Wrongplanet for the women to shame men who have an issue with weight, while the men think its fine to have that standard.



kraftiekortie
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15 Dec 2017, 8:04 pm

I actually don't see that much "fat-shaming" here.



cyberdad
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15 Dec 2017, 10:05 pm

What a god awful thread!

Aspies get rightfully angry at NTs for judging them but then do a flip and don't have a problem judging women who are "overweight" as undesirable? shocking levels of hypocrisy here from multiple male posters

As one get's older looks fade...please find a partner on the basis of how well you get on and how much you have in common. Of course if you are into marathon running or mountain climbing then obviously you aren't going to have much in common with an overweight partner. But I suspect many of the males here play video games and lead sedentary lives - you lot can't expect your life partner to meet the expectations of a supermodel.

Please take a reality check



sly279
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16 Dec 2017, 3:21 am

I don’t judge women for being fat. I still find them attractive but I do find thin women more so. It’s biology. Some men can’t find fat women attractive and as such judge and insult fat women.



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16 Dec 2017, 6:04 pm

You don’t have to find anyone attractive. But assuming you deserve better than what you don’t like is pathetic. A lot of the men here are unable to see how grossly unattractive their personality is, yet expect a thin woman because they’re not fat themselves.

It doesn’t work like that. Being a healthy weight means nothing if you have nothing else going for you.

No one wants a healthy weight guy with a crap personality and no social skills. It’s just not realistic.



drwho222
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16 Dec 2017, 6:09 pm

I am fit and trim, and physically attractive. I am 41 and look 25. Before I met my Aspie wife, people were always shocked to hear that I had no girlfriend and that none of my relationships ever worked out. Its not your looks bro.

On a side note, my wife is short, plump and padded, which is just the kind of woman that I am physically attracted to. To the females here, not all men want Barbie. In fact, I find Barbie repulsive.



cyberdad
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16 Dec 2017, 6:15 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
A lot of the men here are unable to see how grossly unattractive their personality is, yet expect a thin woman because they’re not fat themselves.

I'm hoping these "fellas" aren't representative of the wider Aspie community as it's quite embarrasing



drwho222
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16 Dec 2017, 6:19 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
You don’t have to find anyone attractive. But assuming you deserve better than what you don’t like is pathetic. A lot of the men here are unable to see how grossly unattractive their personality is, yet expect a thin woman because they’re not fat themselves.

It doesn’t work like that. Being a healthy weight means nothing if you have nothing else going for you.

No one wants a healthy weight guy with a crap personality and no social skills. It’s just not realistic.


My Aspie wife, who is smart, kind, sweet, and wonderful, had no boyfriends or other romantic partners before we met. In HS she was a punching bag for NT bullies even more so than I was, and this left lasting psychological damage. We click together like we were made for each other. :heart:



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16 Dec 2017, 6:39 pm

drwho222 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
You don’t have to find anyone attractive. But assuming you deserve better than what you don’t like is pathetic. A lot of the men here are unable to see how grossly unattractive their personality is, yet expect a thin woman because they’re not fat themselves.

It doesn’t work like that. Being a healthy weight means nothing if you have nothing else going for you.

No one wants a healthy weight guy with a crap personality and no social skills. It’s just not realistic.


My Aspie wife, who is smart, kind, sweet, and wonderful, had no boyfriends or other romantic partners before we met. In HS she was a punching bag for NT bullies even more so than I was, and this left lasting psychological damage. We click together like we were made for each other. :heart:


This is very nice to hear. Congratulations on your happiness.