A new development in coping with noise.

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My now 5 year old autistic child has decided to use a headset to help drown out outside noises. She was NEVER one for having ANYTHING on her ears, but, within this past month that changed some. She was on her tablet and had become aggravated at some loud stomping she heard on the stairwell outside (apartment). She picked up my headset, plugged it in, and away she went. Although not a permanent solution to her sensory overload issue, it seems to help her.. She doesn't keep them on for too long though as I believe it eventually bothers her. I ordered her a lighter pair that connects VIA Bluetooth.. We shall see how that goes. It's a step .. But, we are also attempting to get the other issue solved (the stomping) as it is done deliberately knowing that there's an autistic child nearby that is tortured by it.

Deliberately making a noise to upset a little autistic child, what insensitive a***holes. Sorry, I just felt wound up when I read that. Why are some people so immature and nasty?

I hope you get that dealt with soon. It's not fair on you or your daughter.

Hugs.

Highly insensitive, I agree! On site management didn't care much to believe us on the matter, and it turned into a big ordeal back in December of 2016. They pretty much took the offending tenants side 100%, and scolded us for trying to spread awareness about our little girls autism, the effects that can come with it (such as auditory sensory overload), and trying to work with neighbors over it.. Instead of being understanding and helpful, management only questioned the severity of her condition (she is severe enough that she has communication issues). They refused to believe that certain sounds and events could possibly upset her, but took it upon themselves to state or question that other things did not (such as a nearby train or garbage pickup). As if they know how she perceives her world! And they did this with such indignant audacity... It was very hurtful.. We had never stated that other sounds never bothered her, as they sometimes in fact do! But, those aren't someone's clearly deliberate actions to hurt her, and could surely be stopped! Management refused to see that! They even ignored a medical note that was turned in explaining her condition, and her sensory issue. It also stated what could be done to help her. Their only option to us that same day after turning in her medical letter was to just move by breaking lease with no penalty (which we would have done if we could).. When we denied this "offer", we then received a 3-day notice to "comply or vacate" a couple days later for "Disturbing the peace"....... We were left dumb founded, confused, scared, and lost as we had done no such thing! ..... We have since needed to get an outside agency involved (AND we obtained proof that the nasty behaviors are in fact going on as both the offenders and management had denied them and tried to pass it off as "Normal community living noises"). We turned in a ton of information recently, and the outside agency is currently investigating the matter. I hope that something will be done as my little one does not deserve this. our family does not deserve this. We had to remove her from the room (her bedroom) that bordered the stairs as when they (the offending tenants) would do this, she would frighten and meltdown... She would run screaming to where ever her mother or I would be at that time, crying, and stating that she needs to "get away" or that she was a "bad bad person".. Broke my heart the 1st time she ever did that, and still does recalling it. I caught her in one of those meltdowns one time on recording to show her therapy team. It is a mess, and has me very depressed... I have lost 21 pounds since this began 2.5 months ago.... I break down when I sit here with my little one and gaze upon her innocence, knowing the world that she faces... I feel that I failed her at times, but I fight very hard to continue on, for her. I am her father, and have Aspergers.. Although I am higher functioning, I can still strongly relate to how she experiences the world... I am her voice. It is truly a different world to us, and it can be terrible..... We were working to get a house with a yard for her, and get out of apartment living. And these people are working to destroy all of that with their actions.... I truly pray that help can come to my family...

Sorry for the long winded post.... just needed to vent that for it all to make sense.

Thank you for the hopeful thoughts..

Last edited by Sandpoint on 24 Feb 2017, 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am so sorry you and her have had to deal with that level of repugnant interaction. Kudos to you for being an awesome mom who stands up for your child and never stops advocating.

Thank you very much <3 .. And it's dad =P Mother is here too, but I am the forum member. =)

Crap, I am sincerely sorry for not checking that before I posted. On that note, double kudos because I feel all children would be better off with dads in their corner. You are awesome, sir. ( AND you too, mom!)

Not a problem, and no worries!
Thank you!

Holy crap. Can't you sue the renters and neighbor? That's clearly discrimination.

I am not sure what will become of it at the moment, but I know that it hasn't been a pleasant experience.. It has done damage to our little family, and has set back our little ones progress by a bit due to the stress she's endured. We were in the midst of home school transitioning her when this started ramping up... That really messed things up since her bed room was also her classroom/recharge zone, and we had to shut it down . We moved all of her immediate belongings out of there, and dispersed them across the unit to other rooms, including ours (we live in a 2-bedroom apt). We have a few witnesses, plus some other solid, undeniable proof of our plight, and of their malicious acts.... I am hopeful that the agency involved will work with us to resolve this as they too have claimed it's discrimination against us. We've also recently come in contact with an advocacy group and have filled them in on our struggle. We are not sure what they may be able to do, but they may be able to offer some help. We really feel alone in this, like we have no one in our corner... We have never been in this situation before, and still can't understand how this even happened. We didn't know who to reach out to or how... We know that some people can be cruel, but didn't expect to see such behavior over our little girl's condition... I suppose it's just too difficult to be courteous, considerate, and kind these days... My little family doesn't have a mean bone in its body so we find this hurtful and difficult to deal with..We just can't see how it can be this way... Though we are kind, we are not weak.. We will not be pushed over.. We just need help from individuals who know the way through this kind of territory...

I hope you will post the outcome with the advocacy group. This is a cautionary tale for us all. When I try to advocate for myself, I usually make things worse.

I will try to stay on top of those results and post updates without compromising case data.. I had been absent from the forum for a while due to stress and depression, but decided that maybe it would be best to try and vent and share externally where these kind of things could be understood or related to.. It helps some.. We contacted the advocacy group during a busy time for them so they should be getting back to us when they can, but they were interested in knowing about everything.. We have a huge report to share with them that we prepared for the other agency. Loaded with tons of information.. We logged everything, every date, time, recordings, paper work, medical records, etc etc... Even started using small body cams that record audio as well to verify any interactions outside of our home (in case we were to be accused of anything).. We shouldn't have to do that, but we felt it best.... In this state we have a one party consent law for recording in areas of no reasonable expectation of privacy so that helps. It actually helped us to gather proof of what had been going on. An officer of the local PD here said that it was our best bet in this situation, and advised to do it. He was right to do so...

We won. But I am so tired.. And have a long road to recovery. I now have a stress issue related to all that I've been through... Among other things to deal with..

Ugh! Purposely making noise when they know that it negatively effects someone is flat out bullying. I had a similar issue with my next door neighbors. Their dogs bark at every little thing and they don't make much effort train this behavior out of them. When this issue first started, I didn't even know that I had Asperger's or sensory processing disorder. I just knew that the noise hurt me and I considered it an invasion of my personal space. I also suffer from chronic illness and sometimes need to nap in the middle of the day. I'd often be woken up by the barking even with ear plugs in(once at 4am). I repeatedly asked them to do something about the dogs and explained that it was having a negative effect on my health. Eventually they told me that I was harassing them and to stop contacting them! Unfortunately once someone makes a harassment claim like that, you can get in trouble with the cops if you continue to contact them. There's no sound laws where I live, so there's no legal action I can take.

There have been a few times if I happened to be outside at the same time as the wife(we were both getting the mail for example), when she'd go back inside and you could hear the dogs barking from inside the house, she'd actually call out to them "Bark louder!" As far as I know, she only does that when I happen to be outside, so that's definitely bullying. A very immature thing for a middle aged woman to do!

I'm very glad that you won your dispute, but I'm sorry you had to go through so much trouble to get it resolved. I'm also glad that your daughter is helped by the headphones. I too find headphones helpful at times, but they don't always drown out my trigger sounds unfortunately.

Why are some people so immature and nasty?

Because they're human.

"Human" is too wide a definition. Some turn out quite saintly, despite a hard beginning. Usually, though, abuse is being passed on, sometimes amplified, sometimes diminished.

Human IS too versatile.

The nastiness and immaturity of being human in such case usually roots from fear of unknown and ignorance, but that's a rather simple reason since one could overcome it.
Perhaps it because those people sees it as convenient to blame said 'minority' for complaining.

And ends up losing. By assuming that it's THAT convenient.