What Difficulties do you have?

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Uh...wanting to kill myself and those who’re around me when I’m around them due to the pain I feel when I’m near them..., not talking and being unable to learn are those that affect me the most; everything else I experience is somewhat trivial to me.

I have most of the problems you people have addressed.I can make eye contact for awhile,instructions are always a problem like taking a test could make since of them.

Finding myself proper employment in areas where I can "get along"
with potential co-workers without any problems.

I think my main challenge in life is anxiety and overthinking. My thoughts start off with a "what if..?" then one thought leads to another until I am in an emotional mess of anxiety. I overthink and imagine the worst conclusion that is way ahead and other people haven't even thought of.

For example, I've been getting my boyfriend to drive me to work lately because I am feeling anxious about walking to work even though I have a letter signed from my work company to confirm that I am a key worker and so have a right to be walking 2 miles to work. My anxious thoughts are telling me, "what if I get stopped by quite a stubborn sort of cop who interrogates me and won't even take my letter seriously and makes me go back home, or even worse, arrests me for being out?" I think that thinking this way is caused by a lack of trust, because I do have past experiences of being 100% innocent but being unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and dealing with the wrong person.

So that is the type of thoughts that are usually swimming about in my head. I do know that some people can be so hard to reason with and I struggle with arguing back or correcting people. All I do is feel emotionally weak and burst into tears.