Why do I struggle with getting a reply?

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K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 2:02 pm

I'm not looking for anybody to say "online dating sucks", as my counselor probably recommends it for her clients who are on the spectrum too. I struggle to get even a single reply from a woman on a dating site. I can't understand how I'm being "too formal" but there must still be something I am doing wrong here. Could it be my profile? My pictures, anything? I don't have a lot I can put into words. I'm even unable to learn from an example. I have to actually formulate something in my head, but that seems impossible. Otherwise, it comes out as "too formal".



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 2:36 pm

I think you can maybe find a girl that wants to go out with you. Have you tried this site before to look for women?



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 2:43 pm

Yes, I bet it's probably just a numbers game, but I want to know what you think. Also, am I too picky because I overlook profiles of girls who I subjectively consider "below average"?



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 2:47 pm

You don't go by what their profile says. No wait you kinda do. But you need to talk to them and send them a message and see if their your type or not.



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 2:54 pm

What are you saying? As I said, it takes me forever to formulate a message in my head that doesn't suck. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly. And I don't know if my profile is as great either, but I guess that shouldn't matter as much, as I'm weeding out those who aren't good matches anyway. It's only 1-2 paragraphs long.



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 3:03 pm

Have you also tried in person to find a girl?



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 3:14 pm

Sometimes, but I don't know if I usually fail at it. I did meet my first girlfriend in an aspie social group, though.



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 3:16 pm

That's good. Have you look at a girl before and she looks back and flips her hair at you?



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 3:18 pm

No, I'm very poor with tuning into reading nonverbal expressions.



Keigan
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01 Mar 2017, 3:18 pm

'online dating' is a numbers game, there are probably 10 guys to every gal on POF. When I was participating I would rewrite my profile each month, the results of which changed the type of women that responded or if there were any responses at all.

One of the most significant responses I received was to the statement "I have rules" - the responding women wanted to understand what was expected of them, so it was a great conversation starter. Those women were usually looking for a man to who could truly take charge in any situation, as well as take charge of them.



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 3:22 pm

K_Kelly wrote:
No, I'm very poor with tuning into reading nonverbal expressions.

I know that. I awesome am too. But I'm way better than I used to be. But I still suck at it though.



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 3:22 pm

Should I PM to you what I wrote for my profile?



Keigan
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01 Mar 2017, 3:22 pm

Now my list of rules for my female is probably four pages long, many of which are built around daily routine.



K_Kelly
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01 Mar 2017, 3:25 pm

I'm not looking for anything very serious, I am looking at a relationship that will last only few months to a year.



Corny
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01 Mar 2017, 3:38 pm

I Pmed you about it K Kelly.



Keigan
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01 Mar 2017, 3:41 pm

K_Kelly wrote:
I'm not looking for anything very serious, I am looking at a relationship that will last only few months to a year.


My thoughts towards your profile:

Then start with that statement in your profile.

Add in things you are interested in doing, seeing, experiencing. Add in some places you want to go.

What do you want from this individual for a few months to a year? Just coffee or more.

What do you have to offer? Are you a good listener, are you loyal, are you honest.

What do you value in this person for a few months to a year? Honesty, monogamy, warmth, fun.

Describe the role that you expect to fill.

Describe the role that this person is expected to fill for this few months to a year.

What is your exit strategy since this is only going to last a few months to a year? Will you remain friends?