SCob wrote:
Hello everyone,
I live in France, im 24 years old. The doctors here dont have a lot of information about the asperger syndrome and its very difficult to have an appointment with a specialized doctor.
I started to question myself when i went on a vacation to the USA and i met my family there, 3 of my cousins ( 3 different families ) have severe autism. When i saw them i kind of understood them i dont why, they used to do things i used to do when i was younger as walking in circles for hours, and when i sit until now i have to do back and forth movements, before sleeping i have to rock backwards and forwards.
I didnt have a lot friends at school, i used to read during the break and i'm addicted to music!!
The other problem i have is that i dont like to be touched, if it happens i feel a kind of eletctricity and especially by men, i get frustated and i panick, i dont know if its an asperger thing or i have a mental problem, but if someone who likes me look at me in the eyes i panick and i get cold.
I hate when there's too much people, if there's too much noise or the noises are not at the same level i have to change the room or leave.
I get angry very easily if something is disturbing me, if someone is eating and making noises i can become crazy, if a door makes sound while closing i become crazy.
I blank stare a lot and become cold, sometimes i feel like i dont have the same emotions as others. There are things that make normal people happy but for me i dont see the point but if hear a song i can be very happy and sometimes its like im gonna have an eargasm and i have goosebumps.
I hang with people that are interesting for me, i like to argue hours and hours about important questions as life, the meaning of it and about humans and choices etc.
The other problem is that i had a difficult life, my parent weren't easy, they used to fight and i saw a lot of violent stuff when i was younger so i dont know if the way i feel and see things comes from my chilhood or if i have asperger syndrome or maybe a mental problem. Especially my problem with men, its really difficult, i never really had a relationship.
Can someone help me ?
SC
I'll try to help you. A lot of what you posted sounds like autistic traits like rocking back and forth, not liking to be touched, sensitivity to eye contact and noise and a blank stare. I have those, too, except for the rocking back and forth. Only rarely do I do that. My life wasn't easy, either. I've already cheated death twice, once when I was born and in September of 2014 when I overdosed on heroin. I was born a crack baby, all blue and not breathing. I also had that high pitched cry when I was brought back to life. I didn't find this out until 10 years ago. My mom was taking at least 50 different kinds of prescription strength pain killers when she was pregnant with me. Even after I was born, she was still popping pills and couldn't take care of me, so she dropped me off at her parents' house and I grew up with them until I was 14. I can go on and on about my life, but I won't. I'll just say it was difficult with my Asperger's and substance abuse. I, too, have had problems with men. I've been in a bunch of relationships and they all turned out badly. They were all abusive in some way. Now I can't even trust men anymore. I try to stay away from them, but still find myself liking particular ones when I think that they like me. But I can't afford to be in a relationship right now because I need to focus on myself and my recovery. I like that word "eargasm". I thought that was funny. So I'm going to guess that you do have Asperger's. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, I'm just going by what you described. Ok, I hope this helped you and I wish you the best of luck!
02 Mar 2017, 4:39 pm
