Mother Murders Healthy Baby Fearing Disability

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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 19,975
Location: Long Island, New York

10 Mar 2017, 4:48 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
About every parent wants their kid to be "normal." They don't want a NICU baby or a baby with health problems or a baby who will live in pain for the rest of their lives or have a baby that can't use their arm or leg or can't hear or see or have a baby that can't walk or go to the bathroom or have a baby that will never be independent like the rest of the adults, etc.

Some choose to just abort before their baby is born because they don't want them to live through that and some choose to have their baby and spend all their time with it as much as they can before they pass and for those with disabilities that won't die from it, they do what they can to help their child so they can be independent as much as they can by adulthood. And few just flat out kill them even if their baby is normal but they are so afraid they won't be. What if my parents have decided to kill me thinking I will never learn to talk and be independent so just kill me so I won't end up in a institution. My mom did blame my problems on herself thinking she did something wrong when she was pregnant or when she would have a hard time controlling me she also blamed herself wondering what did she do wrong. All parents want their kids to be normal so they blame themselves for their issues and try and find excuses to justify their problems. I also think it's normal to refuse to accept your kid's disability so you keep trying to work with them to help them overcome their problems or unless these parents are in the minority.

I do think there is pressure on how kids should be and that is why there is more diagnoses these days or more kids on the IEP labeled by the school district.

I think parents of all eras do want do not want their kids to suffer and would love their kids to be perfect. What we are discussing here is the increasing intolerance and panic about flaws and the lessening of the realization and acceptance that kids are different, that kids mature at different rates, and that kids need time and space to mature and figure who they are who they are not. When I was growing up nursery school was a luxury, now the kids who do not go to nursery school will be way behind their kindergarten peers. If going to pre school makes any difference in the long run is questionable.

Not sure what you are talking about if anything there there is increasing tolerance and acceptence, to the horror of some people who prefer a more 'pull yourself up by your own bootstraps' approach. If anything people complain about too much coddling and turning your children into special snowflakes if you aren't harsh enough with them or aren't letting them fend for themselves enough with things like bullying or being singled out by teachers/school staff.

A lot of us younger people grew up in a system were we were expected to learn the same, at the same rates and the same way without acknowledgment of different learning styles and things and were unhappy with as for younger people having kids I think they're more likely to challenge that style of schooling rather than defend it.

As referenced in the post above look at not what they say but what they do. Hovering over kids and managing them 24/7 is not accepting them for who they are. Pathologizing them for missing a few markers is not accepting difference. 25 to 40 hours a week of ABA is not accepting them for who they are. Different learning styles is not progress when it is often same goal of making them normal.

I am not advocating going all they way back to the '60's that I grew up in but count me among those old fogeys that think that giving kids time to develop on thier own and letting them suffer consequences to a certain degree helps them define thier individuality. Different learning styles means s**t if the preffered outcome is the same.

The group think has changed but it is still group think. The "special snowflakes" are named that way in part because they can not handle different thinking to point of bullying others who think differently and god forbid use a word they consider racist. And I do think they are reflecting how they were taught by thier parents and schools.

Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


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Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,411
Location: In a cuckoo clock

12 Mar 2017, 4:10 pm

When will these excuses for human beings realize that not only can people with disabilities live perfectly good and decent lives, but that there are some really amazing people in the world who are blind, deaf, amputees, have mental illness, and are on the spectrum? :(