Can an autistic person have better social skills than an NT?

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If only I knew myself. I'll let one of the many people who think they have better social skills than NTs explain it to us both

With regards to your example if my GF asks me a question like that I always ask her if she wants an honest answer.

I think I am clued up enough to lie to spare peoples feelings most of the time ( mistakes do happen though) but I just feel crap for lying

If I'm able to understand that telling the truth might hurt the other person, then I ignore their questions because I can't lie spontaneously. There are times that I'm not able to understand though.

It's not necessarily entirely impossible, but I do have my doubts as to whether it's common.

to borrow a popular expression on here, "if you've met one NT, you've met one NT", so whilst i don't claim to speak for all NTs, i'm going to attempt to explain what i personally do. it's not an easy thing to explain in words something that comes intuitively but, i'll give it a whirl.

NTs filter what they say, based upon two things...the length of the relationship and the depth. of key importance here, is the depth of the relationship. i.e...the closer you are to someone (friend or more) the more truthful one can be...generally speaking.
it takes time to become close to someone so i have included both of these factors as being important in determining how blunt one can be.

to run with your analogy, if i asked my other half something, i would totally expect him to be brutally frank. irrespective of his brain wiring. i happen to be with an ND but this would still apply if i were with an NT.
IF however i were of the sensitive persuasion, then THIS is where being circumspect with the truth would be valued because not everyone, irrespective of brain function, wants to hear the unadulterated and unfiltered Truth. why tell someone something, if one knows it's going to cause pain? i'm not a sadist.
that said, it depends on the situation. if it's a truth that they SHOULD be told. i would go ahead and tell. a LOT of this depends on assessing a situation and making a judgement call instantaneously, which is where the social skills thing comes in, i suppose.
being able to read a situation and make a judgement call, and by and large it being the right one, is something i don't have to second guess or mull over.
i just "Do".

setting aside that Truth is subjective, navigating the "when" and "why" of "what" to say is the cornerstone of being socially dexterous. imo.

you say you "feel crap for lying" and i understand your meaning fully. i don't particularly enjoy being dishonest myself. i do it however, if it's someone i don't know that well and they are at best acquaintances or distant friends. in my view it's as important to know what NOT to say, as it is to know what to say and HOW.
someone here may well call it lying but someone my side of the fence would call it, consideration.

giving and receiving said "consideration" leads to maintaining harmony and sparing someone from a painful comment. a throwaway comment from me may well cause emotional harm to someone without my even knowing. the best way to avoid this, is to say nothing at all, or to be cautious with my words.

hopefully, i managed to convey my thoughts well enough to have explained things but TL;DR:

i filter what i say, depending upon who i am speaking to, how long i have known them and how well i know them and they know me, the context/situation we are in, how much they would benefit from knowing "the truth", whilst at the same time making an assessment that is based upon the information that i have.

Thanks for the insight boofle.

I don't know what side of the Neuro fence I'm on but what you've explained sounds like how I remember I used to be in my teens ( I was a huge stoner and hid behind large quantities of cannabis so was very laid back ), I was 19 when things went downhill.

I seem to have lost the skill of making a judgement call instantaneously

My GF just told me I haven't lost the skill but I seem to not cope with the guilt of lying to spare someones feelings.