Do people with Asperger's bother other people?

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

MSBKyle
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 284
Location: Kent, Ohio

30 Mar 2017, 7:02 pm

I feel like I have been this way my whole life. When I was a little kid, I used to bother little girls. I would touch them, tickle them, or push them. One time I was put in a time out when I was in a tiny tots class when I was 3 or 4 years old. The teacher kept asking me to stop touching this girl but I kept doing it and I was put in a time out. There have been other incidents as well. When I was 7, there was this little girl at the park. She looked like she was 2 or 3 years old. She was there playing with her older brother and sister. They were all minding their own business. I came up to this little girl and just started tickling her. Her brother and sister kept asking me nicely to stop, but I kept on doing it. Looking back on it now, I feel really horrible for what I did to that little girl and other little girls. I wasn't trying to be mean or bother them, I just thought they were really cute so that was my way of showing how cute I thought they were even if it was bothersome to them or their family. I am still kind of like this. I don't do what I did when I was a little kid, but now I film people. I get a thrill out of filming random people. Whenever someone asks me to stop, I keep filming them because I get a thrill out of it. My intent has never been to annoy or bother anyone, I have just always wanted to do whatever I enjoyed even if it is bothersome to other people. I was wondering if this is a symptom of Asperger's or if anyone else on the spectrum is like this.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,860
Location: South East Asia

30 Mar 2017, 7:18 pm

It's what happens if you have no sense of norm. And sense of norm is a type of social skill. Lack of social skills is, known in Aspergers.
You don't know how to express your appreciation "properly" (proper, or rather norm to NTs anyway).


And, with enough awareness, one would thought that he or she is bothering or being annoying to anyone regardless intentions or any actions done. I've been there myself. :lol:


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


burnt_orange
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 286
Location: Ohio USA

30 Mar 2017, 7:30 pm

I am annoying as well. My boyfriend is sensitive to being tickled, but I do it anyways. It's really hard to make myself stop because I guess I lack empathy or whatever.

I've managed to annoy my friends and family with my behaviors my whole life. It feels really terrible and I get embarrassed when they finally yell at me to quit. It makes it hard for others to like me.

Despite knowing this, I still do it. It's like I can't remember the lesson I should have learned.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

30 Mar 2017, 7:56 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
...just always wanted to do whatever I enjoyed even if it is bothersome to other people. I was wondering if this is a symptom of Asperger's...

I would guess some people might say that kind of social wrong could be a manifestation of a lack of normal empathetic-considerate display, but I would not go far as to say it was caused by Asperger Syndrome if someone is aware and still insists upon doing it anyway.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


MSBKyle
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 284
Location: Kent, Ohio

30 Mar 2017, 8:16 pm

leejosepho wrote:
MSBKyle wrote:
...just always wanted to do whatever I enjoyed even if it is bothersome to other people. I was wondering if this is a symptom of Asperger's...

I would guess some people might say that kind of social wrong could be a manifestation of a lack of normal empathetic-considerate display, but I would not go far as to say it was caused by Asperger Syndrome if someone is aware and still insists upon doing it anyway.


I believe that what I did when I was a little kid was wrong, but I don't think that filming people is entirely wrong. It is perfectly legal to film anyone or anything, even if the person doesn't approve. I'm not doing any physical harm to the person who doesn't want to be filmed. I'm not trying to ruin that person's life or anything, I just like filming people whether they like it or not.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

30 Mar 2017, 8:34 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
I don't think that filming people is entirely wrong...

Just partly, eh?! That matter would actually be off-topic here, but now you are aware of a conscious choice having nothing to do with Asperger Syndrome.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 679

30 Mar 2017, 9:02 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
I believe that what I did when I was a little kid was wrong, but I don't think that filming people is entirely wrong. It is perfectly legal to film anyone or anything, even if the person doesn't approve.


Just because something isn't illegal doesn't mean you should do it. Farting in a crowded elevator isn't illegal, but it's most definitely obnoxious.

MSBKyle wrote:
I'm not doing any physical harm to the person who doesn't want to be filmed. I'm not trying to ruin that person's life or anything, I just like filming people whether they like it or not.


All harm isn't physical. You're causing other people stress and anxiety just because you like doing it. That's a kind of bullying, which I'd think AS people should understand.

leejosepho is right. The initial unawareness of norms may be due to AS, but continuing to harass and annoy people when you KNOW they don't like it is just being a jerk.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

30 Mar 2017, 9:42 pm

burnt_orange wrote:
I've managed to annoy my friends and family with my behaviors my whole life...

... It's like I can't remember the lesson I should have learned.

I had the same kind of dilemma for a long time. I believe my grandfather and father were somewhere on the spectrum, and my brothers and I grew up with tickling and "just teasing" to the point of our crying and/or even the humiliating embarrassment of peeing our pants. As I became older, I continued the "tradition" -- something handed down -- in all kinds of ways as a learned behaviour while having no awareness at all of how others were affected. It can be difficult to learn the appropriate "who, when, where and for how long" discipline related to all of this, but I now understand the worst of it to be harassment and I have learned to stop at the first sign or sound of objection from the other person.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


antnego
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 134

31 Mar 2017, 1:03 am

I just channel my annoying impulses in humorous ways. I'll often walk up behind my wife and pretend to "hump" her while making ridiculous moans. My wife usually laughs because she's weird too.

I also learned to vent my impulsive energy in private, where I do exaggerated dances in from of the mirror or make ridiculous faces. I'll also lay down on my bed and make slow gyrations, like a sexy dance. I'll pretend I have superpowers, too.

Jesus. I'm 37 years old, going on 13. :P

I was aggressive early on in Elementary school, because I'd try to be friends with other kids and get their attention. They would rebuff or ignore me. Then I would get upset, lash out or act out. I had poor boundaries. I learned after trial and error to gravitate towards the "weird" kids, whom I befriended.


_________________
My neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 155 of 200

My neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 82 of 200

I am very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


mauloch_baal
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 24 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 60

31 Mar 2017, 10:38 am

MSBKyle wrote:
I feel like I have been this way my whole life. When I was a little kid, I used to bother little girls. I would touch them, tickle them, or push them. One time I was put in a time out when I was in a tiny tots class when I was 3 or 4 years old. The teacher kept asking me to stop touching this girl but I kept doing it and I was put in a time out. There have been other incidents as well. When I was 7, there was this little girl at the park. She looked like she was 2 or 3 years old. She was there playing with her older brother and sister. They were all minding their own business. I came up to this little girl and just started tickling her. Her brother and sister kept asking me nicely to stop, but I kept on doing it. Looking back on it now, I feel really horrible for what I did to that little girl and other little girls. I wasn't trying to be mean or bother them, I just thought they were really cute so that was my way of showing how cute I thought they were even if it was bothersome to them or their family. I am still kind of like this. I don't do what I did when I was a little kid, but now I film people. I get a thrill out of filming random people. Whenever someone asks me to stop, I keep filming them because I get a thrill out of it. My intent has never been to annoy or bother anyone, I have just always wanted to do whatever I enjoyed even if it is bothersome to other people. I was wondering if this is a symptom of Asperger's or if anyone else on the spectrum is like this.


I would say it is a combination of being socially unaware and poor impulse control. I know the impulse control is part of ADHD but I forget if it is also common in ASD, regardless I do that all the time. I will annoy my girlfriend with inappropriate touching. Sometimes I will come up behind her while she is on the computer and make her breasts "dance", or maybe just tickle her even though I know she hates it although at the time it just doesn't fully register. At least now I have a son so I can tickle him, he actually likes being tickled sometimes or popping out in the dark to scare him which he then tries to do to mommy. Although he has not fully grasped how to properly tickle. We are both on the spectrum, I have been tested he will be soon.



rosygrace
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 31 Mar 2017
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

31 Mar 2017, 10:53 am

hahahahahaha I've been told my entire life that I am sooo annoying. I can't help it. :D