I absolutely get it. I'm in my mid 20s and I finally forced myself to get my drivers license a year ago. In a lot of ways I feel like a young teenager now. Emotionally, socially, I seem to be at that level and going through things people that age go through. Intellectually, I'm well-ahead of other my age, though. Despite having a professional career and being generally regarded as a successful person, I still frequently will spend entire weekends without setting foot outside my apartment, either because the thought is too exhausting or I can't think of anything to do. I know that I have the ability to do things for myself and to be around people, but I don't always push myself to do so. However, IT'S NEVER TO LATE to force yourself outside your comfort zone and to learn things that others your age have known for years or decades, but you do need to push yourself (or ask those in your life around you to start holding you to higher standards).
Something I've come to realize is that the act of trying, of forcing yourself to do something, is the only way to change. But you need to make it as easy as possible on yourself, don't start by tackling the huge issues. Choose a specific issue that you want to learn to deal with, and make small steps towards it. For instance, if you want to eventually be able to transport yourself from one place to another, start by going for a walk every day. Just 5 or 10 minutes, getting outside, either going to a specific destination or just wandering around. It forces you to see other people from a distance, gets you out of the house, gives you the confidence and skills to navigate short distances (if you need a map, or GPS, or anything, use it!). Once that becomes comfortable, take it one step farther. Maybe try taking a normal public bus. Map out the route ahead of time, have your parents or a friend go with you the first time if you're uncomfortable, maybe only go a single stop or two before getting off. Practice doing it over and over, starting simple but taking longer and more complicated trips. I rode buses for years before finally deciding to try driving, and I think that helped. It gave me a chance to realize that I can get myself from point A to point B, gave me an opportunity to watch other drivers and start learning the rules of driving without being in control of a vehicle, so when I went to drive the only thing I had to learn were the physical mechanics, which weren't as bad as I'd played it up to be in my mind.
In terms of finding ways to be around people socially, the thing that's consistently worked the best for me is signing up for some sort of group activity that I'm interested in. Pay for a month (or more) of lessons in advance, so you're committed to going, and then go. It gives you a structured environment in which to interact with people and a commitment to doing it for a while. If you choose an activity that you genuinely enjoy, that will make it easier to convince yourself to go. And again, you take small steps. At first, maybe you would sign up for a watercolor painting class, where there will be others around you, but you don't have to interact with them if you aren't ready to. Then, you could start trying to talk to the others around you (simple things like "how's your day going?", or "I like your painting"), and eventually you might be ready for meaningful conversations. You could also choose activities that force more interaction, like a ballroom dancing class, or martial arts, or a board game group, when you're ready for it.
Anyways, just some thoughts that have been useful for me! If you have someone if your life (parent, sibling, teacher, friend) who you can ask to help you make small changes and hold you to it, I would recommend talking to them about it, as sometimes external motivation helps.
02 Apr 2017, 1:40 pm
