Joe90 wrote:
I think I have upset a coworker who I've always got on with so well.
One day a week I have to get a bus straight after work, and I like to leave work dead on time as to make sure I don't miss it. Usually on this particular day this particular coworker has a day off, but lately she's been in on this day to cover someone else's shift who will be off sick for a while.
But, despite how much I like this coworker and she likes me, she gets carried away with rules and authority, and once told me I can't rush out of work to catch the bus if we are short-staffed (and we usually are short-staffed).
So I decided I had to tell her in the politest way possible that I need to get this bus at this certain time on this certain day every week, and that everybody else appreciates that, and then I asked her what weeks she's going to be covering the other person's shift.
I know that my hidden message might have sounded rather mean, but I am always so tactful and people are always telling me to be selfish or assertive sometimes, and so I didn't think she would take offense to it, but I think she has took offense to the way I asked her what weeks she will be covering the other shift (it might have sounded like I don't want her there on the day I get the bus). She still talks to me and everything, but I can still tell that our friendship isn't the same as it once was, ever since I told her how I felt about catching my bus.
I have apologized to her and she says it's fine and everything, and I added that I do get anxious about missing buses, and she seemed to accept, but I can still feel a bit of hostility there. I've been on vacation in the last 2 weeks and she hasn't once liked or commented on my Facebook statuses or pictures, and usually she does, especially if we haven't seen each other for a while. I would do the same on her statuses but she doesn't really post much at all, even though she goes on Facebook a lot.
But I am starting to feel uncomfortable. I hate upsetting people. It's not in my nature, but sometimes you have to speak up and be a little blunt, otherwise people just walk all over you.
You were not in the wrong to communicate your need to leave when you do to your co-worker. If anything, your co-worker would be unreasonable to expect you to stay and then be stranded at work or forced to take an extremely late bus, when you safety might be compromised or it would present an undue burden to you for some other reason.
Your co-worker might just be a sensitive individual, or have an inherent disregard for your need to leave when you do. In any case, it doesn't sound like you can do more than you have done to mend the situation, and it's your co-workers problem and not yours.
Also, concerning it "going wrong", no I don't think it went wrong. It went a way you would have preferred it not go, but that is expected sometimes when you stand up for yourself.
22 May 2017, 12:52 am
