Why do kind people disregard people with autism?

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futuresoldier1944
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06 May 2017, 12:37 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
^^ Yeah, I hadn't even read your post when you had PMed me (TL;DR)----but, I DID, just now, and I agree with you, that he seems to have some issues, as well. I also believe he got scared (seems very Aspie-ish, to me, as we get scared when someone comes-on too strong----NOT that it couldn't be some other kind of "difference").

I'm so sorry you lost your friend; they're so hard for us to get / maintain.


Well I haven't lost him forever yet. Hopefully, I'll eventually be able to make up with him. I would really value his friendship, even though I don't know him very well. And the ironic thing is that even though my friend came on strong during our first meeting and even before, I was NOT scared at all. In fact, I really liked his coming on strong. It's why I unfortunately ended up coming on strong to him, which I rarely do to other people. It was so easy to interact with him. I guess he's what I've long needed. But my new friend may not know whether I'm what he's needed.



Moo Moo
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08 May 2017, 1:00 pm

Futuresoldier1944 this may be hard to hear but I really really don't think that you should contact your friend again unless they contact you first. It sounds like he's been really clear that he doesn't want you to. I'm sorry x



futuresoldier1944
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08 May 2017, 1:07 pm

Moo Moo wrote:
Futuresoldier1944 this may be hard to hear but I really really don't think that you should contact your friend again unless they contact you first. It sounds like he's been really clear that he doesn't want you to. I'm sorry x


Well my friend doesn't really understand me anymore than I understand him. He also doesn't know me well enough to judge me the way that he has. But that was my mistake from the beginning. I didn't know him well enough to come on as strong to him as I did. However, even though I liked him coming on strong to me during our first outing, he obviously didn't know me well enough to come on as strong as he did. I really do believe that I have to work this out with him, no matter what it takes. And as nice as my friend was when we first met, I'm sure that I can eventually get him to understand me and my issues.



Moo Moo
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08 May 2017, 1:19 pm

I'm genuinely really worried that you may get into trouble with the authorities. He asked you not to contact him and blocked you on Facebook. He's been really clear that he doesn't want you to contact him. You barely know him. I'm so sorry but please don't do anything you may regret.



futuresoldier1944
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08 May 2017, 1:47 pm

Moo Moo wrote:
I'm genuinely really worried that you may get into trouble with the authorities. He asked you not to contact him and blocked you on Facebook. He's been really clear that he doesn't want you to contact him. You barely know him. I'm so sorry but please don't do anything you may regret.


I'm not going to get into trouble with the authorities. lol I haven't done anything illegal and wouldn't do anything illegal. He's reacted to me the way that he has because he doesn't really understand my Asperger's and the way that it can affect my behavior. What I did was socially inappropriate, but it was unintentional. I've practically had an infatuation for him, if you can call it that. I rarely act like this socially. Usually I'm not socially assertive and don't try to initiate social contact. But this new friend of mine is just different, I don't know why. Maybe because he initiated our meeting in the first place and in a very assertive manner and continued that assertiveness during our first meeting. What I would regret is not trying to make up with him and becoming friends with him. And anyways, we might eventually work together. So I should try to work things out with him for at least that reason.



Summer_Twilight
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09 May 2017, 1:48 pm

The one that puzzles me the most are parents and family members of individuals with severe autism who seem to be demeaning and shunning towards those who are on the mild end of the spectrum while seeming to understand the more severe cases. Yet, they wonder why in the world we get so mad at them for not being accepting to us.



saintpedrogluestick
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09 May 2017, 1:58 pm

I think it's primarily stigma and a lack of understanding. Whether or not they're aware of the diagnosis on you, we can't be neurotypical, and so even with effort we will come across as off. This isn't a bad thing, but I suppose it makes it difficult for people to interact with us. It's sad.



Moo Moo
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09 May 2017, 4:31 pm

Good luck to you Futuresoldier :)



aikoinazuma
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10 May 2017, 12:55 pm

THe NTs are wired quite differently from Aspies so they regard Aspies as foreign. I don't mean to be rude or bigoted when I say this but that's the mindset of the NT. That's how some NTs can get away with being narcissists and megalomaniacs and are still adored by many. Also, quite honestly a lot of people in general are either dumb as a box of rocks or are aspiring megalomaniacs themselves so they'll chase after some narcissist jerkoff because they think they'll get some sort of reward or a piece of the action in return. A lot of those 'kind' people who disregard autistic people probably aren't kind after all.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 107 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 131 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits.