Problem with understand signals that women give me. *NSFW*
It seems to be almost universally accepted that guys with AS are terrible with women, however, this does not apply to me for the most part
I can approach and talk to women just fine, almost better than I can with other guys, strangely.
The problem I have is that I find it hard to "pick up what they are putting down", so to speak. For example, I have a very hard time knowing if they ever "want it". This has led to me friend-zoning a few girls without even knowing. Their friends usually tell me later and at that point it is too late to make up with the girl. I'm not even joking, at least on 4 occasions I have been told that I have friendzoned women. It makes me feel bad for them, and usually, they are people that I like. Every time I have ever had sex was a result of me directly telling my partner I want to do it.
Oh, and the whole "dirty talk" thing baffles me. Especially when they stay stuff like "stick it in there" when I am already "sticking it in there" or when they call me "daddy". I'm totally serious when I say that that phrase instantly kills the mood. I just don't get how it isn't creepy to call somebody who is f*****g you "daddy"
I am trying to improve on these issues but it is almost like it comes naturally. I would find it very strange to talk to my therapist about my sex life, honestly.
Sorry if this post is a bit NSFW, but I needed to get this off my chest.
It's not so much an incest thing as it is a "male authority figure whom I respect, admire and submit to" thing. I get that it's not everyone's thing, but it's certainly one of my buttons, so to speak.
_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
Not really sure that is the case here, 2 of the times this has happened, the friends have showed me texts that confirm that they wanted to ask me out. All of the times this has happened, apparently it was pretty blatant that they were hitting on me, I just didn't know this. I have a very hard time with flirting, I usually take flirting as them just being nice to me. That is my problem.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
and yet his friends may have passed this 'message' to him that you don't want him, and therefore you blew up any chance of him asking you out. Bravo.
Loam, if you were interested in this guy, why wouldn't you just tell him? Worst thing that will happen is that you would get rejected, but thats better than being lonely forever. You telling your friends you didn't like him eliminated all chances of you ever getting with him.
I don't really get what your reply had to do with my post.
That's not my nickname people, please don't lets start that.
THAT WAS ONE GUY
It hurts when you give a load of blatant obvious signals and the guy acts like he has no interest. You feel like an absolute idiot. If the friends think he's a bit of an ass, then there's no way you're going to admit that you see someone who is actually quite nice under all his stupid bravado especially if he has shown that he has no interest in you.
If you find out he did like you, you think, then why didn't he respond?? Then you get upset and when people ask you about him you just feel hurt and say, "I don't want him". You don't want someone who hurts you, but maybe he didn't mean it, so you would give him a chance if you found out he really was just stupid and oblivious.
Chances are this guy really is a dick and he isn't interested, which is why its better he thinks I don't like him because it would just reinforce his being a total dick.
Life is complicated
Edit, I'm slightly mortified that Avril Lavigne popiness makes my point. But some guys can be really nice to the girl when just with her, but a bit of a dick and overly macho to show off to their friends. Do I really want anyone knowing I like this guy, that I'd still give him a chance?
Last edited by hurtloam on 23 Apr 2017, 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
and yet his friends may have passed this 'message' to him that you don't want him, and therefore you blew up any chance of him asking you out. Bravo.
It was the guitar dude. Why would I admit to anyone I liked him after all that hassle. Even you said he didn't like me.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
and yet his friends may have passed this 'message' to him that you don't want him, and therefore you blew up any chance of him asking you out. Bravo.
It was the guitar dude. Why would I admit to anyone I liked him after all that hassle. Even you said he didn't like me.
Yes, but generally what you did would blow your chances with anyone else even if he likes you.
Their friends are talking a load of crap. I've been saying this about someone. I'm embarassed that I liked him and I don't want anyone to think I liked him if he didn't really like me. It's about my pride. So I've told people I don't want him.
In truth, if he asked me out I'd say yes.
I just don't want him thinking that I still fancy him if he really had no interest in me. I don't want to be a sad weirdo who pines after guys who don't like me. It's better to have his friends believe I'm strong and don't want him. I don't want to look pathetic.
and yet his friends may have passed this 'message' to him that you don't want him, and therefore you blew up any chance of him asking you out. Bravo.
It was the guitar dude. Why would I admit to anyone I liked him after all that hassle. Even you said he didn't like me.
Yes, but generally what you did would blow your chances with anyone else even if he likes you.
Why? I don't understand. He messed me around, not the other way. This is soo complicated. I hate dating crap. Why is i so f*****g hard??
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