Demisexual and autism

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I don't like the term and holding it up as a separate sexual orientation I think is a very broad brush for something that is really just personal to individual as to why they are the way they are, I think the same with asexuality. All deviations from the norm don't happen innately, some people unfortunately have to carry baggage they never asked the carry.

As a guy it's pretty easy to see people I don't know as attractive but getting to know the person more might turn me off or intensify the feelings, where others are putting a sexual orientation I attribute more to disability and trauma than innate part of myself. Not a place someone wants to stay, I guess I can see how it might feel better to think of it differently.

That's just it - I stick things out & just love who I know becuase I'd feel remiss trying to explain myself constantly otherwise. It's tough but good company is worthwhile.

For me there has to be an emotional/mental attraction then the physical attraction might follow as I notice more small details about the person. I can appreciate physical aesthetics, no bother, but it doesn't lead to physical/mental/emotional attraction.

True that's pretty much what I do. It's just time consuming though. I mean, most people know if the other person is right after like three dates. Here I am trying to figure s**t out after 2 months. It's like dating with a blindfold on.

That's definitely true for me as well. There is nothing worse than someone who tries to move too fast. I need so much time. That last person I dated moved too fast. The dude wanted to move in with me after like the second date. Kinda felt like that's why the relationship only lasted like 8 months.

I strongly disagree to that. My opinion instead is that the people that have invented all these labels have a really poor understanding of the issues. For instance, the asexual label is based on the assumption that if you don't like the sexual behaviour of the majority, then you must have a low sex drive or some other disability, which is a false assumption, particularly in relation to NDs. In fact, most of today's view of relationships is biased towards sex, and many people cannot even imagine a relationship without regular sex.

I don't think demisexual is any different. It doesn't describe some basic property of NDs, but instead is a mixture of several independent ND traits. As such, it is not particularly suitable for understanding ND relationship preferences.

I'm the opposite. I can only have sexual desire to someone who I feel I don't know. And it's both guys and girls. Once I meet them, I'm only slightly more attracted to girls.

The flipside of needing so much time is being able to focus & remain available.

I'm pretty sure I'm demisexual. I can think a random woman is attractive, but it's not enough to get me interested in her. People who say "That guy/girl is cute, I want to get their number!" confuse me, because from my point of view it doesn't make sense to be attracted to people you don't know. I have romantic problems for other reasons though- extreme self esteem issues and social awkwardness.

Weirdly enough it's not terribly uncommon for me to get girls' numbers, I'm just cautious about who I show all my thoughts. Very cautious.

Dude, you're the spreadsheet master, number crunching is sexy. Just tell women: I know that guy's hunky, but good looks will fade, my ability to lower your tax-rate will never go away..."

The best way to teach people math is forcibly.

I kind of actually do that too. There are 2 mes, me & bitwise logical me.

Free tech support = I you.

I can relate to this. That's why I have trouble with dating sites. I just scroll through all these photos and bios and I don't really want to meet any of them.

I slowly get to know people by being around them and then I begin to like them. They can spark my interest on a first meeting by how they behave or what they say (but this has happened very rarely). Yet I don't have any desire to get someone's number the first time I meet them.

Those modern sexual labels are useless.

There are heterosexuals who feel attraction via bonding.

There are bi/homosexuals who feel attaction via bonding too.

There's no need to create 10000 orientation labels, each for every personal preference.

The strange thing is I usually agree with Boo on this too, it tripped me out when I noticed there was a definition that applied to me anyway.

It's different, though. Especially in USA's culture, if you're a boy in high school and kids find out you're not having lots of casual sex, you're pretty big bully bait.

Although I'm sure telling someone you're "kind of asexual" wouldn't be much better.