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ShadowProphet
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25 May 2017, 9:01 am

I want a girlfriend, to have sex so bad, the frustration is unreal sometimes. I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I try to tell myself to not worry, to not stress about not having anybody. But no matter what I do, I just can't help it. Love is my obsession; I NEED it like a vampire needs blood!

People tell me to wait or say don't worry love will find you. The truth is, iv'e been waiting my whole life and everyday I worry that i'm never going to find anyone. Like I said, I can't help it. My need for love, for validation from women has gotten so powerful, it simply can't be ignored, at least not anymore. It doesn't help that love and sex is everywhere in our culture, from songs on the radio, to couples walking down the street, to the porn you watch regularly. You can't escape our sex-induced culture and it makes those who've never gotten to experience that feel left out.

Every time I see an attractive girl walking down the street, god damn I can't help myself. Why do women have to be so beautiful, so alluring? I wish I could kill my desires and be set free from the chains of wanting their love. I'm just a slave to the attention of women, something iv'e always wanted but have never had. Something easily obtainable to many yet something I have yet to overcome. Every time I see a couple walking down the street or witness my college peers getting into relationships while I have yet to find that, it's hard for me.

I only know one thing. I'm a lover of beauty. It has always been this way, and it will always be this way till the day I die. So what is a life without ever experiencing love, experiencing sex? Sounds like an empty life to me... I would rather not suffer the same fate.



Closet Genious
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25 May 2017, 11:08 am

Love does not truly exist, and sex is vastly overrated. You only want it when you can't have it. I've gotten bored with sex many times in the past.



GiantHockeyFan
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25 May 2017, 11:24 am

If I makes you feel any better, I was almost 30 before I had my first relationship (and she was f-ing crazy: I thank God I didn't knock her up). Sure, it was HARD having to be the lonely single guy but on the bright side, most of the people I know who got into serious relationships at 22 are generally bitter, divorced and not in any rush to find love. Someone close to me has a school aged child with a woman who is nothing short of a monster: not only is he financially tied to her but his son will suffer mightily because of it.

Having said that, I do know exactly where you are coming from. I remember when I was 22 and my brother invited me to a house party (at the time he had women hanging off him). Of course it was a complete failure as girls wouldn't even look at me and his only response was to say "you try too hard". What was I suppose to do? Sit there silently in a corner? How can you possibly try too hard?

I know it's the most overused cliché ever but there is some truth to this. When I was 32 and completely burned out I said out loud "I accept whatever fate has in store for me." A week later I met my wife who I later find was keeping her eye on me for a few weeks. It sounds crazy but when I was relax and on vacation I had plenty of women interested in me: whether it was because it was a subconscious thing or I was better able to pick up on it not being a bag of anxiety I will never know for sure.

Here's a helpful but of advice that I use all the time.

Any decision you make based on fear is likely one you are going to regret.

Sure, it sucks being the lonely single guy and I feel your pain but you do NOT want to be in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone. I almost ended up (falsely) arrested for DV (and potentially ruining my life) because I was so desperate not to be the 'loner' anymore. The best thing you can do is just talk with more of these 'beautiful' women and you will see looks can be deceiving.



ShadowProphet
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25 May 2017, 11:25 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Love does not truly exist, and sex is vastly overrated. You only want it when you can't have it. I've gotten bored with sex many times in the past.


I hope you don't take it for granted sir.

You can say sex is vastly overrated because you've gone out there and experienced it. I bet that if you were in my shoes, still a kissless virgin, you would be lonely and obsessed with sex too.

The truth is, my first relationship may end badly, or that i'm going to think sex is overrated. But I don't care, because for me I want the experience of knowing what it's like to be in a relationship. I'm the type of guy who needs to go out and experience things, not for people to tell me whether something is good or bad. I need to know for myself what it's like, especially for something iv'e always wanted.

That's why i'll never regret being in a relationship, even if it ends badly because I will have that experience. And from experience, I gain knowledge on what I want and don't want and how I can be better the next time.

And I promise to not take it for granted.



Richardf269
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25 May 2017, 3:25 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
I want a girlfriend, to have sex so bad, the frustration is unreal sometimes. I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I try to tell myself to not worry, to not stress about not having anybody. But no matter what I do, I just can't help it. Love is my obsession; I NEED it like a vampire needs blood!

People tell me to wait or say don't worry love will find you. The truth is, iv'e been waiting my whole life and everyday I worry that i'm never going to find anyone. Like I said, I can't help it. My need for love, for validation from women has gotten so powerful, it simply can't be ignored, at least not anymore. It doesn't help that love and sex is everywhere in our culture, from songs on the radio, to couples walking down the street, to the porn you watch regularly. You can't escape our sex-induced culture and it makes those who've never gotten to experience that feel left out.

Every time I see an attractive girl walking down the street, god damn I can't help myself. Why do women have to be so beautiful, so alluring? I wish I could kill my desires and be set free from the chains of wanting their love. I'm just a slave to the attention of women, something iv'e always wanted but have never had. Something easily obtainable to many yet something I have yet to overcome. Every time I see a couple walking down the street or witness my college peers getting into relationships while I have yet to find that, it's hard for me.

I only know one thing. I'm a lover of beauty. It has always been this way, and it will always be this way till the day I die. So what is a life without ever experiencing love, experiencing sex? Sounds like an empty life to me... I would rather not suffer the same fate.


I know what you're going through. Most Autistics and Aspies, do. Luckily for me I had a single girlfriend in high school that was interested in me when we met in class. I was 17 and it was my first & last physical relationship. I've had many girlfriends online in my early 20's, but they never worked out.



ZachGoodwin
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26 May 2017, 12:32 am

I'm 22 years old also and am obviously a male, but please can you not, and just please, not treat your virginity like it is some law. You can be a virgin and still be happy.



Chronos
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26 May 2017, 7:54 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
I want a girlfriend, to have sex so bad, the frustration is unreal sometimes. I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I try to tell myself to not worry, to not stress about not having anybody. But no matter what I do, I just can't help it. Love is my obsession; I NEED it like a vampire needs blood!

People tell me to wait or say don't worry love will find you. The truth is, iv'e been waiting my whole life and everyday I worry that i'm never going to find anyone. Like I said, I can't help it. My need for love, for validation from women has gotten so powerful, it simply can't be ignored, at least not anymore. It doesn't help that love and sex is everywhere in our culture, from songs on the radio, to couples walking down the street, to the porn you watch regularly. You can't escape our sex-induced culture and it makes those who've never gotten to experience that feel left out.

Every time I see an attractive girl walking down the street, god damn I can't help myself. Why do women have to be so beautiful, so alluring? I wish I could kill my desires and be set free from the chains of wanting their love. I'm just a slave to the attention of women, something iv'e always wanted but have never had. Something easily obtainable to many yet something I have yet to overcome. Every time I see a couple walking down the street or witness my college peers getting into relationships while I have yet to find that, it's hard for me.

I only know one thing. I'm a lover of beauty. It has always been this way, and it will always be this way till the day I die. So what is a life without ever experiencing love, experiencing sex? Sounds like an empty life to me... I would rather not suffer the same fate.


Love and sex are two different things. If you could choose one or the other, which do you want more?



ElabR8Aspie
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27 May 2017, 5:04 am

Invest in a hooker/prostitute,to get the ball rolling.


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rxj27
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27 May 2017, 8:04 am

One of the perks of being an aspie is that love can be our special interest. This can make us amazing partners. However, we can also be too attentive and drive people away, so be careful to find that balance. Also, try focusing on making yourself a more appealing partner. Find women with similar interests, work on humor and conversation skills. When you find someone with shared interests, find events to go to together, try new restaurants, go to new places, and share new experiences. Good luck!



futuresoldier1944
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01 Jun 2017, 2:01 am

ShadowProphet wrote:
I want a girlfriend, to have sex so bad, the frustration is unreal sometimes. I'm 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I try to tell myself to not worry, to not stress about not having anybody. But no matter what I do, I just can't help it. Love is my obsession; I NEED it like a vampire needs blood!

People tell me to wait or say don't worry love will find you. The truth is, iv'e been waiting my whole life and everyday I worry that i'm never going to find anyone. Like I said, I can't help it. My need for love, for validation from women has gotten so powerful, it simply can't be ignored, at least not anymore. It doesn't help that love and sex is everywhere in our culture, from songs on the radio, to couples walking down the street, to the porn you watch regularly. You can't escape our sex-induced culture and it makes those who've never gotten to experience that feel left out.

Every time I see an attractive girl walking down the street, god damn I can't help myself. Why do women have to be so beautiful, so alluring? I wish I could kill my desires and be set free from the chains of wanting their love. I'm just a slave to the attention of women, something iv'e always wanted but have never had. Something easily obtainable to many yet something I have yet to overcome. Every time I see a couple walking down the street or witness my college peers getting into relationships while I have yet to find that, it's hard for me.

I only know one thing. I'm a lover of beauty. It has always been this way, and it will always be this way till the day I die. So what is a life without ever experiencing love, experiencing sex? Sounds like an empty life to me... I would rather not suffer the same fate.


The struggle is real for me too, man! I'm an incredibly sexually frustrated horny kissless virgin guy in the prime of my youth who's never had a girlfriend either. I really want sex with a woman who I am in love with, but I would even settle for sex with a casual partner. I masturbate and watch porn in order to fill the void left by not only a lack of access to sex, but also a lack of love and companionship from either a girlfriend or close platonic guy friends. I also really want close guy friends whom I can talk about sex and girls with.



Last edited by futuresoldier1944 on 01 Jun 2017, 2:23 am, edited 5 times in total.

futuresoldier1944
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01 Jun 2017, 2:17 am

ShadowProphet wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Love does not truly exist, and sex is vastly overrated. You only want it when you can't have it. I've gotten bored with sex many times in the past.


I hope you don't take it for granted sir.

You can say sex is vastly overrated because you've gone out there and experienced it. I bet that if you were in my shoes, still a kissless virgin, you would be lonely and obsessed with sex too.

The truth is, my first relationship may end badly, or that i'm going to think sex is overrated. But I don't care, because for me I want the experience of knowing what it's like to be in a relationship. I'm the type of guy who needs to go out and experience things, not for people to tell me whether something is good or bad. I need to know for myself what it's like, especially for something iv'e always wanted.

That's why i'll never regret being in a relationship, even if it ends badly because I will have that experience. And from experience, I gain knowledge on what I want and don't want and how I can be better the next time.

And I promise to not take it for granted.


For virgin guys in their 20s like ShadowProphet and me, sex will never be overrated. In fact, it may even be underrated for us. lol We're frustrated and even envious that other guys our age get to experience the joy of sex with women whom they are in love with and/or are attracted to, while we don't even know when we'll finally get "lucky" for the first time. I can always hope that my first romantic or sexual relationship will eventually result in marriage. However, that's not probably not realistic. I'll probably have several romantic or sexual relationships before I eventually meet the woman who will later become my wife. This would partly depend on how serious I would want my first romantic or sexual relationship to be. I may just primarily want to have fun with her, sexual and otherwise. Even though I'm 27, I'm still not sure that I have the level of emotional maturity necessary for a romantic relationship serious enough to lead to marriage. So this may mean that I might have to pursue girls a few years younger than me as many girls my age are probably starting to seriously think about marriage and having children.



StinkyDog
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01 Jun 2017, 1:23 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
I'm 22 years old


At that age, your body is overcome with hormones, commanding you to procreate. Without that burning desire, our species would have gone extinct long ago. The effect of the hormones is very hard in youth, but softens mercifully with age.



futuresoldier1944
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01 Jun 2017, 2:23 pm

StinkyDog wrote:
ShadowProphet wrote:
I'm 22 years old


At that age, your body is overcome with hormones, commanding you to procreate. Without that burning desire, our species would have gone extinct long ago. The effect of the hormones is very hard in youth, but softens mercifully with age.


And I think that the effect of sexual hormones is even harder on men in their youth. Women can also have very strong sexual desires, but men's sexual desires may be more physically intense. Women's sexuality tends to be more emotional.



hurtloam
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01 Jun 2017, 4:41 pm

futuresoldier1944 wrote:
StinkyDog wrote:
ShadowProphet wrote:
I'm 22 years old


At that age, your body is overcome with hormones, commanding you to procreate. Without that burning desire, our species would have gone extinct long ago. The effect of the hormones is very hard in youth, but softens mercifully with age.


And I think that the effect of sexual hormones is even harder on men in their youth. Women can also have very strong sexual desires, but men's sexual desires may be more physically intense. Women's sexuality tends to be more emotional.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Maybe ask a woman and you'll find different. It was f*****g torture being in my 20s. I really do think that a huge part of being depressed has to do with sexual frustration and I'm 35.

The only thing that killed it for me was antidepressants.

I'd still prefer the idea of love though. I know it's not the same situation, I could go on Tinder and hook up with someone, but I really don't want that.

My point was women have a sex drive too. Even if our options are different. I know young men who are holding out for love too, I really don't know how they cope.


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hurtloam
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01 Jun 2017, 4:48 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm 22 years old also and am obviously a male, but please can you not, and just please, not treat your virginity like it is some law. You can be a virgin and still be happy.


Please elaborate. What moved you to make this comment?

Reading it doesn't make me feel less lonely.


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