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ThisAdamGuy
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27 May 2017, 5:06 pm

Over the past couple days I've been talking to a girl on OKCupid. She's nice, and way prettier than a guy like me has any right to hope for, and we're going to meet up for a date on Monday. Only problem is, OKC has a ton of survey questions you can answer and compare your answers to the people you're talking to, and a couple of her answers are a little concerning. They are:
"Is a woman who sleeps with 100 men a bad person?"
Her answer: No (Explanation: "Maybe she needs it to be happy, or she just likes sex. I don't judge.")
and
"Is a man who sleeps with 100 woman a bad person?"
Her answer: Yes (Explanation: "Horrible person who only uses women for his needs!")

I mean, that's about as big a double standard as you can get. She seems nice enough now, but what if those double standards extend into other things? Is it even worth getting involved with someone who thinks like this?


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nurseangela
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27 May 2017, 5:09 pm

Nope. Sounds like what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander. They have those questions for a reason.


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27 May 2017, 7:15 pm

Like for real, no exaggerating? If so then yeah that certainly does seem to be a double standard...and seems kind inconsistent. I mean you could still go on the date, but yeah I would be careful getting too involved since it is possible those double standards could be problematic down the road.


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ThisAdamGuy
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27 May 2017, 7:19 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Like for real, no exaggerating?

yep, those were copy/pasted directly from her page.


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27 May 2017, 7:26 pm

Maybe its just my aspieness showing, but I would probably consider that a good discussion point while on your date. It's most certainly still true that females tend to be judged negatively for having a lot of partners while males are usually judged positively. That, however, shouldn't make it acceptable to have double standards. She sounds a bit immature but I do not see it as a deal breaker, especially if, after you point it out, she considers your opinion and doesn't just react indignantly.



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28 May 2017, 4:06 am

It is a strsnge double standard. But I dont think its a deal breaker. Couples won't always agree on everything and humans are ridiculously inconsistent, even the good ones.

meet up with her and see how you get along in person.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 May 2017, 4:16 am

Adam, you should understand that on okcupid, insane girls are the norm, and the sane ones are the exception.

I would skip this one if I were you.



ltcvnzl
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28 May 2017, 3:01 pm

can you check when she answered that? maybe it's in different moments and she changed her mind in between. but it's quite weird anyway.



ThisAdamGuy
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28 May 2017, 4:21 pm

Well, I ducked out of it. Told her my parents were bringing in family for Memorial Day and I wanted to spend it with them. Said we could reschedule later, but... yeah, not gonna do that. Oh well!


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28 May 2017, 4:35 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Over the past couple days I've been talking to a girl on OKCupid. She's nice, and way prettier than a guy like me has any right to hope for, and we're going to meet up for a date on Monday. Only problem is, OKC has a ton of survey questions you can answer and compare your answers to the people you're talking to, and a couple of her answers are a little concerning. They are:
"Is a woman who sleeps with 100 men a bad person?"
Her answer: No (Explanation: "Maybe she needs it to be happy, or she just likes sex. I don't judge.")
and
"Is a man who sleeps with 100 woman a bad person?"
Her answer: Yes (Explanation: "Horrible person who only uses women for his needs!")

I mean, that's about as big a double standard as you can get. She seems nice enough now, but what if those double standards extend into other things? Is it even worth getting involved with someone who thinks like this?

It may be a double standard but I'm not sure it's something to over-think or play too much into so soon. Remember, most people who take OKcupid surveys are doing it because they are bored. I doubt she put much weight into her answers, and a survey on the internet taken because you're bored isn't necessarily a good, reliable indicator of your bedroom morals. It's very possible that she's a loyal girl who has strong monogamy morals in a relationship, and she answered yes to the men question because in the 3 seconds she spent thinking about it, her first thought was her being cheated on sexually, so she answered yes. And it's equally possible in the 3 seconds she spent thinking about the question for women, she just felt she didn't want to come across as judgmental, a trait men don't care too much for.

tl;dr, point being, you can't truly know a person's morals from a few dumb survey questions. There isn't much harm to going out with her and seeing if she's a good person. But, if your gut tells you she isn't one, and you don't want to waste your time, then don't waste your time. But keep an open mind.


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28 May 2017, 5:11 pm

Wouldn't think too much about it if I were you. I mean, that would make me keep an eye open if case she shows more nutty behaviours, but with taht alone I'd just stay on guard a little.



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28 May 2017, 6:00 pm

You need to go out with this girl, at least once. I bet there's no double standard at all. I think she wrote that to separate decent guys from the creeps.

The answers are meaningless. Go out with her, let us know what happens.

And for heaven's sake do NOT ask her about it!! !



ThisAdamGuy
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28 May 2017, 6:05 pm

Toooooo late!


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29 May 2017, 6:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Adam, you should understand that on okcupid, insane girls are the norm, and the sane ones are the exception.

This. I thought *I* was the insane one for a while because everybody I met from that site seemed..... off. At least it's not as bad as POF: there were some real winners there who honestly belong in an asylum.

I also agree that you shouldn't put too much stock into these silly answers. I was glad when eHarmony decided to get rid of that feature: all it did was ruin what could have been potentially good matches.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2017, 7:32 am

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Toooooo late!


and how did she justify it?