Why is everyone f***ing lying? are they insane?

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omid
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02 Jun 2017, 3:53 pm

I kind of have came to conclusion that I can't live in this god damn world.
I mean, everyone is lying. These people are all lying to each other. Or explaining stuff to each other in a way that is complete deception! Like turning the truth or totally changing stuff or taking stuff out of context.
What's the deal with this? why do they do this? And what's the deal with me being honest and everyone thinks I'm lying? OH WAIT! BECAUSE EVERY OTHER ONE ON THIS WORLD IS F***INg LYING.
The good thing for them is, they can spot lying. They know the other party is lying, because they themselves are lying on other occasions. so its normal.
But I never lie and don't expect people are lying. But they think I'm lying. And I'm super p*ssed by this world and clearly want to die. I mean I'm smoking 3 packs of cigarettes everyday -> a sign that I clearly want and am going to die pretty soon.


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Raleigh
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02 Jun 2017, 4:31 pm

Smoking cigarettes is a slow way to die, even with 3 packs a day.

Forget about words.
Learn to listen to people's souls and bypass spoken words.
No words required, and you'll find absolute truth there.


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burnt_orange
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02 Jun 2017, 6:00 pm

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. I agree it can be difficult for us to tell when people are lying, but it's not as bad as you think. NTs don't always know a lie either. We're closer than you think. I think most people are often trying to spare others feelings, whereas we usually don't do that. I find that it sometimes helps to let people know that you don't do well reading between the lines and that you prefer direct communication.



kraftiekortie
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02 Jun 2017, 7:25 pm

The more you deal with people, the more you must "lie by omission."

If somebody is wearing an outfit that doesn't look good on him/her, do you comment on it? If you're asked if the outfit "looks good," do you give an honest answer if you feel an outfit doesn't look good on the person?

Also: most people don't say they are "doing bad" (especially if they are actually "doing bad") if asked "how are you doing?" In essence, they are lying--but they are lying for a reason--so as not to get socially ostracized for being a depressing person to be around.

If people always told total strangers how they "really feel," we'd probably go extinct. People would just want to kill each other LOL.

Social rules were developed for a reason: the preservation of our species, and the preservation of civil order.



weakbody
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03 Jun 2017, 1:55 am

It's not just NTs thing. My father also adjusts the truth to suit him.



ELance
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03 Jun 2017, 2:12 am

They are evil men. That is what they lie.

Not to bear false witness before thy neighbour, this God tells us.



Last edited by ELance on 03 Jun 2017, 4:04 am, edited 3 times in total.

Xardas
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03 Jun 2017, 3:50 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The more you deal with people, the more you must "lie by omission."

If somebody is wearing an outfit that doesn't look good on him/her, do you comment on it? If you're asked if the outfit "looks good," do you give an honest answer if you feel an outfit doesn't look good on the person?


If an outfit looks good or not is very subjective. It can look good to one person and bad to another person. You don't have to lie that it looks good, you could as well say that it doesn't look good in your personal opinion.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone thinks it looks bad on him/her. For example I don't think that someone would deliberately choose an outfit that looks bad on them even according to their own opinion.



cheffe
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03 Jun 2017, 5:41 am

Ah yes, lying: one of the virtues of mankind. I never lie, because I don't know how. I'm never accused of lying, because I have learnt the gentle art of shutting up. People don't make sense, once you realize that everything makes sense.

Correction: I do know how to lie, I just never do it with bad intentions.



RetroGamer87
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03 Jun 2017, 6:16 am

What are they lying about? Be more specific please?


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Dear_one
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03 Jun 2017, 7:09 am

A lot of the lies are repeated in good faith, not because people are insane, but just because they lack data and process it poorly. The brain is tuned to discover patterns, but is not good at verifying what it thinks it sees, often getting stuck with an easy first impression. There are also many deliberate lies propagated to gain advantage or hide guilt, at all levels of society. As an aspie, I found the world too confusing already to imagine deliberate tinkering with truth, but it is very common, particularly as a defence against force.



shortfatbalduglyman
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03 Jun 2017, 10:17 pm

Raleigh:

"Smoking cigarettes is a slow way to die, even with 3 packs a day."

everyone is going to die. smoking three packs a day will make someone die earlier, all things being equal. (fine). but not all things are equal.

scientific research has yet to show what is the optimal diet for longevity. on the other hand, what is so great about a long life, if the long life is riddled with disease.

likewise, if you enjoy smoking, then maybe it is worth the health risk that you are taking.

after all, you could twiddle your thumbs and insist on anal retentively adhering to the current USDA Food Pyramid. you could obsessive compulsively check the latest greatest research about how to live the longest practical lifespan. some research articles claim that it is good for your immune system to live somewhere dirty, than somewhere clean. b/c then your immune system gets used to it. gets practice.

but, of course, anyone could get struck by a bus. anyone could get murdered. and there are diseases and disabilities that anyone could get, regardless of lifestyle factors.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Omid: if "everyone" is "lying", then "everyone" cannot be "insane". according to the Diagnostic Statistical Manual. the DSM is not going to define a mental illness, where "everyone" has it. b/c if "everyone" has the mental illness, then it is not, by definition, a mental illness.

what kinds of "lies" are those precious lil "people" telling eachother? can you be more specific?

"But I never lie". you are saying not once in your life have you told a "lie"? and what is the definition of "lie" anyways? did you look up the dictionary definition of "lie"? if you say "I never lie", and you had told one lie in your life, then that statement is wrong.

"And I'm super p*ssed by this world and clearly want to die."
emotions aimed at the "world" are kind of vague. ambiguous. any particular, specific person? what did one person say or do, that you are responding to? any particular pattern.

do not tell a mandated reporter that you "clearly want to die." they will send you to 5150. seriously.

having said that, smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day does not seem too extreme. some people claim to smoke more than that.

sure, smoking is not healthful. but big deal. not many things are healthful. radiation. not many things do not cause cancer. processed food. stress. sitting down for hours on end. getting addicted to the computer/phone/electronics.

besides, what if you did everything that was healthful and nothing that was not healthful? that would be orthorexia nervosa. and obsessive compulsive. and anal retentive. and that, in itself, is not healthful.

granted, i do not smoke. nor have i ever. nor do i plan to start. and not too fond of secondhand smoke.

but, smoking is not illegal. as long as you pay for the cigarettes, and only smoke where it's legal to smoke, and et cetera.

quite frankly, i do not see how or why it would be anyone else's business that you smoke. unless, of course, they use the excuse of secondhand smoke. or they are your doctor.



asdspeechie
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05 Jun 2017, 7:48 am

I definitely understand the frustration. It used to drive me crazy when I was a kid. Then I took acting classes and started to think about it as if everyone was acting in a giant play. That's what social skills is-- acting out a role. All the world's a stage, etc. etc. But people who actually lie still frustrate. I think of myself as generally a very honest person, and I don't understand lying just to look better or whatever. But you play the role you need to play.



League_Girl
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05 Jun 2017, 10:22 am

This also used to drive me crazy. I found out from my therapist that everyone lied everyday and I was too honest so he was trying to teach m to lie and it felt so awkward to do it. People say it's wrong to lie but they don't mean it. What they mean is you cannot lie about your intentions or do things that are dishonest like steal or break the law or do fraud, things that would hurt people.

I realize now people lie if it's not going to hurt anyone and if it's going to spare your hurt feelings and make you happy like how parents lie to their kids all the time to keep them from being afraid or to get them to eat healthy or because some things are too advanced for them to understand so they lie and lot of people don't see it as a lie because it's at the level of understanding for the child. I once read a post on another website about someone learning about diabetes in school when they were five and he was scared of getting it so his anxiety got so bad it was consuming his life his mother finally told him that only adults got it and kids didn't. I was sure that was a lie his mom told him so I said in my response "I bet she was lying so you would stop worrying about it because kids can get diabetes" and he said he knows that now and so did she then. But yeah some things are too much for a child to process so the parent lies about it to get them over their fear so they will go back to normal. I see that part as a gray area for when it's okay to lie because you are doing it for the child's sake and it's not going to hurt them. Just as long as there were good intentions for the lie, I am not bothered by it. But sometimes these lies backfire because kids are so literal like one four year old freaked out about going to the hospital because she thought she would never see her mom again because her mom had told her her dad was in the hospital so that is why she never sees him. He was in jail and the mom didn't want her to know that. Sometimes I think how hard is it to just tell your kid the truth like say her dad is in jail because he did something very naughty and jail is a place grown ups go when they broke the law. Did the mother think her daughter knowing her dad is in jail will be too much for her to process and make her fear her life thinking she will go to jail if she does something wrong it takes over her life and keeps her from living a happy peaceful life because she is so afraid of making a mistake? But even honesty can also backfire because it can make the child be very afraid they can no longer live a normal life but that also depends on the child. Some kids can handle the truth better than others so parents can be more honest with that child than they can with another one. So either way can backfire.


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Sethno
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05 Jun 2017, 12:08 pm

omid wrote:
...I mean, everyone is lying...


Uh...

Apparently not everyone lies, since you say you don't. Do you think you're the only one who doesn't. I was raised to think of lying as TOTALLY unacceptable, so I don't lie. (If someone's got no business knowing something, I won't lie to them about it, I just won't tell them, including if I have to say "That's none of your business"...tho' I usually find a kinder way to put it.)

Not everyone lies. I mean, many, MANY do, but not quite everyone. You're not entirely unique, you know.


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05 Jun 2017, 3:58 pm

Everything I say is a lie including this.


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Raleigh
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05 Jun 2017, 4:00 pm

My whole life is a lie.


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