Which social rules do you find don't make sense?

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Summer_Twilight
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05 Jul 2018, 10:52 am

1. When going to the same black tie event year after year and you remember someone's dress, and another person borrows, you can't bring it up.
2. People who frown upon you for doing something (Examples- telling them to shut up, heavily drinking, talking about them) and yet it's okay for them to do that very thing.
3. People who tell you to "Be yourself" because they are "Different" or "Weird" too. Then one tries to be themselves and those people who preached don't want them around because they do things that bother those people.
4. There is alcohol flowing at a party and the host gets mad because someone gets drunk and vomits.



Fnord
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05 Jul 2018, 10:59 am

Quote:
4a. There is alcohol flowing at a party and the host gets mad because someone gets drunk and vomits.
4b. Serving alcohol is mandatory if you want guests to actually show up.


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Fnord
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05 Jul 2018, 11:24 am

It's okay to begin one conversation after another on the same topic of a personal nature, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.

It's okay to interrupt and invade every conversation with the same topic of personal woe, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.

It's okay to ask for advice over and over again on the same personal problem without ever acting on or even accepting the advice being given, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.


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SophieTheWeirdo
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05 Jul 2018, 11:46 am

I don't understand why we have to wear shoes and socks. Personally, I find it really uncomfortable and like my feet are completely trapped. I hate it. This is something I realized only a few weeks ago, however I've been struggling to wear socks since I was a toddler. I know it's really weird but I just can't stand it, especially when I'm in a car. Recently I've just been wearing flip flops because then my feet can breathe and I don't feel too claustrophobic.

Why doesn't everyone just go barefoot all the time? :? It would be so much more comfortable and humans are actually supposed to be barefoot. Over time, society has just brainwashed everyone into thinking that we have to wear shoes and it's not fair :x


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Fnord
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05 Jul 2018, 11:55 am

SophieTheWeirdo wrote:
I don't understand why we have to wear shoes and socks...
I would rather go barefoot, too! But I sometimes work around machines that spit out metal shavings, or I have to go outside where there is either sharp gravel or animal feces in the dirt.

Come to think of it, though ... why do my female co-workers women get away with strappy shoes that expose more of their feet than my favorite sandals, yet I'm not allowed to wear my sandals in the office?


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hobojungle
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05 Jul 2018, 12:05 pm

Fnord wrote:
It's okay to begin one conversation after another on the same topic of a personal nature, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.

It's okay to interrupt and invade every conversation with the same topic of personal woe, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.

It's okay to ask for advice over and over again on the same personal problem without ever acting on or even accepting the advice being given, but calling the person out on this stupid and annoying practice is considered rude.


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Magna
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05 Jul 2018, 12:55 pm

Handshakes: I could see how on a biological level they could benefit our species by boosting immunity if one survived the possible sickness handshakes can spread. However, handshakes would seem to be a perfect system designed by the diseases themselves if they were intelligent enough to devise such a scheme.

Non-verbal Communication in General: This is a broad category, but it's an obvious fact that non-verbal communication is routinely misunderstood by humans in general both ND and NT alike. While I can see how non-verbal communication can serve as a social "shorthand", etc. It lacks the standard that both spoken or written language provides. It's imprecise and its nuances can be subjective.

"Eavesdropping" or entering conversations you overhear: I don't understand why it's rude to some for someone who overhears a conversation taking place at normal conversational volume to partake in the conversation: "I heard you two talking about fishing. What type of fishing rod to you prefer?" I can understand if two people were speaking to each other in hushed tones that they were trying to be discreet. But regular volume and there's an unwritten rule where everyone else should just pretend not to hear? It seems rather juvenile to me.



Summer_Twilight
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05 Jul 2018, 12:58 pm

Back to the "Being yourself" rule. Basically, I have learned that lots of organization ask you to be yourself and all that. When it comes to having Asperger's, people tend to complain about stimming (Pacing back and forth, rocking, or even flapping your hands) then the leaders come out and it's "If you want to belong here you need to fit into this mold. Go stim somewhere else because you are drawing attention to yourself."



fromamegaverse
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05 Jul 2018, 11:47 pm

The social rules of respect.

Being told to respect older people when respect generally means to admire someone for their abilities. Not all old people have earned respect. And since the definition of respect has to generally do with admiring someone's abilities, everyone has their own view of what is worthy to admire in someone.

Or when you disagree with an elder, teacher, mentor, ect and they say you are disrespecting them. How is politely disagreeing with someone not respect? To me, it's not disrespectful when someone disagrees with me. I feel like the word respect is thrown around to get other's to agree with a opinion/statement they don't agree with.

Or when someone tells me that someone lacks respect for themselves. Like how would they know? Self-respect can only be evaluated by the self. A person's belief on what self-respect even looks like is subjective. For instance I'd hear some people diss women wearing what they called "skimpy" clothes during the summer. And they'd say, "she has no self-respect". But to me those women were wearing normal clothes for that temperature and therefore weren't lacking self-respect to me.

Or how if someone disrespects themselves that means other can disrespect them too. Which goes back to the paragraph above, how do you evaluate if someone respects themselves? And everyone has their own idea of what is positive towards themselves. And whether or not someone has self-respect doesn't give people the right or justification to be a jerk.


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isloth
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06 Jul 2018, 12:19 am

The fact that there is the general ideas of what is desirable and successful (job/money/family/how you look/how you act/etc.) and if you don't fit into those standards, you're a failure (I know it's wrong but I still feel myself pressured by it), even though these achievements are extremely common and a large amount of people can do them.

While I respect almost all opinions and beliefs and have very strong ones myself, I don't understand why it is permissible (and even mainstream) for people to aggressively try to force their opinions onto others who don't want it.


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ExceladonCity
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06 Jul 2018, 8:01 pm

I will never understand why people will call attention to a person willingly sitting by themselves. I'm at a bar I frequent for video games and a few friends within the Smash Bros community, and I decided to sit down and play some Smash. Before I could even get started, there were some people sitting a few spots over and one of them invited me over to play, citing "Things aren't as fun when you're by yourself!" This creates a predicament with me, as I REALLY don't want to play with them, but saying "No." would be considered rude and I don't want to deal with that awkwardness. I usually don't classify things as NT or ND, but that definitely feels like an NT response to someone sitting alone.



Summer_Twilight
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07 Jul 2018, 4:33 pm

1. At places of worship, they always preach about "All are welcome" but when comes down to things, they have all kinds of rules to follow.
A. You have to fit into their perfect mold
B. You have to know some of the long-term members just to be invited anymore
C. Anyone who is different is a deviant and they have to conform to the norms or get out
D. You have to have to have gobs of money and then they will be your best friend

In general

2. Girls and women need to have to have long hair, pretty dresses, jewelry and make-up just to belong anywhere
3. You can't cry because it's too immature
4. You can't talk about certain subjects as a certain age with other adults- say animation because that's for kids.



afroholic
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09 Jul 2018, 1:11 pm

None of them make sense.

Asking me how I feel, when you really aren't interested is among the worst.

I don't know how I feel, I never will. So please don't force me to interrogate myself so you can feel comfortable.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2018, 1:28 pm

You have to be nice to the people who are mean to you, lest you end up justifying the way they treat you.


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