maybe people shouldn't date...

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Sweetleaf
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13 Jun 2017, 1:53 pm

Since women typically just want your money and resources, and are never honest or have real criticisms(just emotional reactions to tone)....and guys just want sex an intimacy, and typically lead women on but when it comes to committing to a relationship they don't want to put the effort in...

Or maybe people that are so bitter about the opposite sex they refuse to see them as individuals, should just forget about dating and relationships as well as giving advice about it. Why do you want a relationship with someone you already see in a negative light because their gender?


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TheSpectrum
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13 Jun 2017, 1:59 pm

I'm quite happy being single.
I'm just here for fun.


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Sabreclaw
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13 Jun 2017, 2:03 pm

One problem with dating a complete stranger is you have literally nothing to start with besides any preconceived biases.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Jun 2017, 2:11 pm

Ok, don't date then.



Sweetleaf
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13 Jun 2017, 2:21 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
One problem with dating a complete stranger is you have literally nothing to start with besides any preconceived biases.


Well that is true but if all your preconceived biases are negative, seems like it would be kind of counterproductive for a date going well and/or forming a relationship. Though maybe it would be the degree by which you consider those baises..of course if one has had bad experiences it is going to sour their bias but if they stick to that soured bias too heavily it could ruin future opportunities. Like I wouldn't be in a relationship if I had let the bias from past experiences have too much say.


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ZachGoodwin
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13 Jun 2017, 2:39 pm

Sweetleaf... I doubt that I want to be asexual or that I want where I go to the toilet or where I eat a lot of fast food and breathe, and I also doubt that I want it to place it where there is countless amounts of bacteria forming from that food. If people like that and want that then that is fine, but for me please, not judging, but please no. I mean that type of thing sounds very painful and smelly to me; not my type of thing. Being gay or bisexual is not for everyone alright. No hidden theory about it. Sorry for talking strangely, but I felt like bringing that out.

I like women, and I would like to date a woman. I would like to be her friend and spend so much time with her. I also can handle being yelled at and fought with by a member of the opposite sex.



TheSpectrum
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13 Jun 2017, 3:20 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
Sweetleaf... I doubt that I want to be asexual or that I want where I go to the toilet or where I eat a lot of fast food and breathe, and I also doubt that I want it to place it where there is countless amounts of bacteria forming from that food. If people like that and want that then that is fine, but for me please, not judging, but please no. I mean that type of thing sounds very painful and smelly to me; not my type of thing. Being gay or bisexual is not for everyone alright. No hidden theory about it. Sorry for talking strangely, but I felt like bringing that out.

I like women, and I would like to date a woman. I would like to be her friend and spend so much time with her. I also can handle being yelled at and fought with by a member of the opposite sex.

1) Straight people also engage in the practice you imply.
2) Bacteria also forms and urine comes from the end that you prefer to "deal with".
3) Even if you avoid said practice you imply, there's no guarantee the girl you are dating hasn't acquired bacteria from said areas and it has now found their way to other parts of their being.
4) Further to point 3, even if she says she hasn't, you have no proof!!

Guess it looks like you won't be dating, either. A haaa! :D


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ZachGoodwin
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13 Jun 2017, 3:33 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
Sweetleaf... I doubt that I want to be asexual or that I want where I go to the toilet or where I eat a lot of fast food and breathe, and I also doubt that I want it to place it where there is countless amounts of bacteria forming from that food. If people like that and want that then that is fine, but for me please, not judging, but please no. I mean that type of thing sounds very painful and smelly to me; not my type of thing. Being gay or bisexual is not for everyone alright. No hidden theory about it. Sorry for talking strangely, but I felt like bringing that out.

I like women, and I would like to date a woman. I would like to be her friend and spend so much time with her. I also can handle being yelled at and fought with by a member of the opposite sex.

1) Straight people also engage in the practice you imply.
2) Bacteria also forms and urine comes from the end that you prefer to "deal with".
3) Even if you avoid said practice you imply, there's no guarantee the girl you are dating hasn't acquired bacteria from said areas and it has now found their way to other parts of their being.
4) Further to point 3, even if she says she hasn't, you have no proof!!

Guess it looks like you won't be dating, either. A haaa! :D




TheSpectrum
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13 Jun 2017, 3:37 pm

Those were facts followed by an assumption.
I didn't express an opinion.
:lol:


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Closet Genious
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13 Jun 2017, 3:41 pm

I agree Sweetleaf, some people shouldn't date. I am a prime example of that. Luckily I don't want to either, I completely lost interest in it long ago, for a myriad of reasons.

The primary reason is that relationships never made me truly happy anways. I've been in 3 relationships and 2 of them were actually pretty good matches for me I'd say, so I don't think it's because I didn't find good enough women, it's just how I feel about relationships. I value my own freedom and self expression too much to sacrifice it.

The rest comes down to the general gender dynamic, and how mate selection works, which I find offensive and dehumanizing. I'll boil it down to: Love is not unconditional, or even remotely close to being it.

I find it difficult to think of women as individuals, when they generally have such a strong own group preference, that they will defend even bad behaviour from other women. And most men will defend women too because they are controlled by their instincts. Women also seem to care more what other people think of them, so they rarely admit to their own faults. Yes, I do think women are generally more manipulative and dishonest than men. That doesn't mean men can't be dishonest too, they are, especially when blinded by *****. But women seem to be very concerned with 'tone' and being nice.

I don't care about what is rude or nice, all I care about is truth. Some may see me as bitter, but then I see those people as painfully naive.

Something I am honestly very bitter about though, is the fact that within a couple of hours some mod will come and lock down this thread. Because apparently, censoring what people are, and are not allowed to talk about is totally okay. I just have to say, the pattern of this censorship is really obvious. I not saying the mods have an agenda, but they are certainly very biased when it comes to what they find toxic.



Sweetleaf
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13 Jun 2017, 3:56 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
Sweetleaf... I doubt that I want to be asexual or that I want where I go to the toilet or where I eat a lot of fast food and breathe, and I also doubt that I want it to place it where there is countless amounts of bacteria forming from that food. If people like that and want that then that is fine, but for me please, not judging, but please no. I mean that type of thing sounds very painful and smelly to me; not my type of thing. Being gay or bisexual is not for everyone alright. No hidden theory about it. Sorry for talking strangely, but I felt like bringing that out.

I like women, and I would like to date a woman. I would like to be her friend and spend so much time with her. I also can handle being yelled at and fought with by a member of the opposite sex.


This is confusing I don't see where I brought any of that up, lol...

This was directed at straight people for the most part... not sure bitterness about the opposite sex factors much into homosexual or bisexual relationships, so I imagine this topic is more relevant to straight people. I suppose it may not be 100% unheard of that some individuals may have tried intimacy with the same sex due to bitterness..but that isn't really what I was suggesting. Just people should address their bitterness before trying to find a relationship with someone of the opposite sex otherwise I don't see it working because the bitter party is always going to be waiting and watching for the other person to prove their negative biases correct.


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ZachGoodwin
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13 Jun 2017, 3:59 pm

I don't think I should date right now because I'm not prepared for being a father. I'm too weak and immature for women, and it's pretty embarrassing.



ZachGoodwin
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13 Jun 2017, 4:01 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
Sweetleaf... I doubt that I want to be asexual or that I want where I go to the toilet or where I eat a lot of fast food and breathe, and I also doubt that I want it to place it where there is countless amounts of bacteria forming from that food. If people like that and want that then that is fine, but for me please, not judging, but please no. I mean that type of thing sounds very painful and smelly to me; not my type of thing. Being gay or bisexual is not for everyone alright. No hidden theory about it. Sorry for talking strangely, but I felt like bringing that out.

I like women, and I would like to date a woman. I would like to be her friend and spend so much time with her. I also can handle being yelled at and fought with by a member of the opposite sex.


This is confusing I don't see where I brought any of that up, lol...

This was directed at straight people for the most part... not sure bitterness about the opposite sex factors much into homosexual or bisexual relationships, so I imagine this topic is more relevant to straight people. I suppose it may not be 100% unheard of that some individuals may have tried intimacy with the same sex due to bitterness..but that isn't really what I was suggesting. Just people should address their bitterness before trying to find a relationship with someone of the opposite sex otherwise I don't see it working because the bitter party is always going to be waiting and watching for the other person to prove their negative biases correct.


Thank you for clearing that up. I have some difficulties with assuming. Being clear is one of the biggest difficulties I have with my autism even though I was given a completely different new diagnosis. For all I know, the other posts I made may have confused and angered people. I really wish communication was as easy as 2+2.



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13 Jun 2017, 4:48 pm

I can't relate to this belief about men and women being after this one superficial thing in a partner, sure it exists, but in the way you frame it in the OP Sweetleaf I think its being used as a excuse by those people to protect their self image. I could say that most men are interested in only one thing, but I think that responding to the perception of dehumanisation with an equally dehumanising outlook is akin to self harm.
Yes these user type of people are out there, they can be avoided or strategies can be planned for dealing with them.
Signs or red flags to watch out for could be useful for others, but boogeyman stories are just fear mongering, or maybe they are a cathartic response to trauma?



Sweetleaf
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13 Jun 2017, 6:41 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
I agree Sweetleaf, some people shouldn't date. I am a prime example of that. Luckily I don't want to either, I completely lost interest in it long ago, for a myriad of reasons.

The primary reason is that relationships never made me truly happy anways. I've been in 3 relationships and 2 of them were actually pretty good matches for me I'd say, so I don't think it's because I didn't find good enough women, it's just how I feel about relationships. I value my own freedom and self expression too much to sacrifice it.

The rest comes down to the general gender dynamic, and how mate selection works, which I find offensive and dehumanizing. I'll boil it down to: Love is not unconditional, or even remotely close to being it.

I find it difficult to think of women as individuals, when they generally have such a strong own group preference, that they will defend even bad behaviour from other women. And most men will defend women too because they are controlled by their instincts. Women also seem to care more what other people think of them, so they rarely admit to their own faults. Yes, I do think women are generally more manipulative and dishonest than men. That doesn't mean men can't be dishonest too, they are, especially when blinded by *****. But women seem to be very concerned with 'tone' and being nice.

I don't care about what is rude or nice, all I care about is truth. Some may see me as bitter, but then I see those people as painfully naive.

Something I am honestly very bitter about though, is the fact that within a couple of hours some mod will come and lock down this thread. Because apparently, censoring what people are, and are not allowed to talk about is totally okay. I just have to say, the pattern of this censorship is really obvious. I not saying the mods have an agenda, but they are certainly very biased when it comes to what they find toxic.


I think women can be more manipulating, I've experienced that myself in the past...but guys can commonly be hard headed and full of themselves at least a little I guess it can be more direct than more manipulative methods of being difficult.

I guess part of my thing is I don't really fit in with other women, so being lumped with them is annoying...and I think a lot of generalizations even encourage some of the more negative behavior...like some women think they are supposed to be a certain way so they try to maintain that and some even pick on other women to try and get them to 'conform'. Of course I think in a lot of ways men try to be a certain way because its how the gender is 'supposed' to be and get picked on for not fitting into that.

Also I think there tend to be various truths...I prefer to be more pleasant and not rude, but if a truth was that important I suppose I wouldn't hold back, but sometimes I care more about pleasant interaction than being right.


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