maybe people shouldn't date...
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,436
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.
I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.
This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.
well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.
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We won't go back.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,869
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.
I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.
This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.
well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.
I am not bothered; but your posts made me concerned:
It has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that, Sweetleaf.
You are saying women are more natural manipulators than men.
This is a very huge generalization and based on sexist old stereotypes.
Some women can be like this, but not all women are like this, Sweetleaf– so it isn't fair to extend your trust issue to all women. Even because there is some men who are very manipulators too – but at the end, all falls under denying people their individuality and confirming ourselves/others to gender stereotypes.
and oh BTW: if you want to carry suspicion and resentment towards people of your own sex as you work your way through human socializing, go right ahead, but know this: a smart person, like for example your boyfriend's mother or his female relatives, will pick up on that, sooner or later, and either reciprocate that ugliness or push your partner to dump you!
/Hmmm, so déjà vu
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,436
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.
I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.
This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.
well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.
I am not bothered; but your posts made me concerned:
It has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said.
There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that, Sweetleaf.
You are saying women are more natural manipulators than men.
This is a very huge generalization and based on sexist old stereotypes.
Some women can be like this, but not all women are like this, Sweetleaf– so it isn't fair to extend your trust issue to all women. Even because there is some men who are very manipulators too – but at the end, all falls under denying people their individuality and confirming ourselves/others to gender stereotypes.
and oh BTW: if you want to carry suspicion and resentment towards people of your own sex as you work your way through human socializing, go right ahead, but know this: a smart person, like for example your boyfriend's mother or his female relatives, will pick up on that, sooner or later, and either reciprocate that ugliness or push your partner to dump you!
/Hmmm, so déjà vu
I don't have any real trust issues or resentment(if anything I resent people yet I like to have social interactions), just acknowledging I have noticed a lot of times women can be more skilled at manipulation that men. That said I am not using it as a loaded term...plenty of interactions and situations require some manipulation and since biologically males tend to be physically stronger it would make sense that females have had to rely on it more than males who have been able to rely more on physical strength. Or maybe its just a coincidence.
I don't think any of it is absolute however....so I wouldn't assume just because someones a women they'd be good at manipulating or just because someones a man they'd be physically strong. It would certainly depend on how they present themselves.
_________________
We won't go back.
I don't think any of it is absolute however....so I wouldn't assume just because someones a women they'd be good at manipulating or just because someones a man they'd be physically strong. It would certainly depend on how they present themselves.
I think if women may be more skilled manipulators or may do it more depends on what kind of manipulation you look at. There certainly have been more male people in powerful positions who manipulated the masses (Hitler, Napoleon - like Boo pointed out). Of course that could partly be because a lot of societies make/made it much harder for a woman to get into a powerful position. There are some high paid jobs where everyone negotiates their salary and men tend to get a lot more money than women because many won't settle for less and manage to convince others that they are the best at the job and they can't do without them - making others think you're greater than you actually are and that they need you is a kind of manipulation.
Then there are manipulative tactics that some women can do better or that work better if a woman does them - like playing the victim or pretending you need help or stuff similar to 'if you don't do X you don't love me'. Using sex to get what you want also works better if you are a woman.
And of course, like you pointed out, not all manipulation is malign and there may also be harmless ways of manipulation women tend to use more possibly because some tend to be more indirect or more concerned not to sound rude.
Some people in general do that. It's not really gender specific. It's just that men who do that won't hurt you if you are a straight male whereas women who do so will.
Some people do similar things just to get sex rather than a relationship. Those are more often male but that's due to a supply and demand problem.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,869
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,915
Location: Adelaide, Australia
False. I'm awkward and anti-social and I still get into relationships. You can as well.
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The days are long, but the years are short
The posters here on L&D make me glad I'm a lesbian lmao. Also my experience with dating guys prior to realizing i wasn't actually bi made me realize I'm incompatible with men romantically, sexually, and even platonically.
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Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And you're Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When you're A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor
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