maybe people shouldn't date...

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Sweetleaf
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15 Jun 2017, 10:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh - maybe it is the way women in your culture/ city / village are socially conditioned to be like that.

My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.

I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.

This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.


well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jun 2017, 1:57 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh - maybe it is the way women in your culture/ city / village are socially conditioned to be like that.

My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.

I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.

This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.


well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.


I am not bothered; but your posts made me concerned:

It has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said.

There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that, Sweetleaf.
You are saying women are more natural manipulators than men.
This is a very huge generalization and based on sexist old stereotypes.

Some women can be like this, but not all women are like this, Sweetleaf– so it isn't fair to extend your trust issue to all women. Even because there is some men who are very manipulators too – but at the end, all falls under denying people their individuality and confirming ourselves/others to gender stereotypes.

and oh BTW: if you want to carry suspicion and resentment towards people of your own sex as you work your way through human socializing, go right ahead, but know this: a smart person, like for example your boyfriend's mother or his female relatives, will pick up on that, sooner or later, and either reciprocate that ugliness or push your partner to dump you!


/Hmmm, so déjà vu



ZachGoodwin
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15 Jun 2017, 2:28 pm

I like pie.



Closet Genious
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15 Jun 2017, 2:30 pm

Joking aside, I think it can sometimes be neccesary/useful to generalize. Of course it's good to rely on individual cases, but there's also alot of tendencies and generalities that hold true of either gender.



Sweetleaf
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15 Jun 2017, 6:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Oh - maybe it is the way women in your culture/ city / village are socially conditioned to be like that.

My current partner is not like; I never sensed any manipulative nature from her.

I think you are biased against women, Sweetleaf; due to your experiences with some women.

This is not the first time you show bitterness toward women; you talked generalization about manipulation in women in other threads before.


well damn boo, damned if I do damned if I don't....you complain about me defending women too much if I challenge a generalization you make, then if I see some truth to a generalization I am generalizing too much in your eyes. Lol I don't think it is possible for me to make posts that don't bother you.


I am not bothered; but your posts made me concerned:

It has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said.

There is a difference between warning people of 'women like that' and generalizing that all women are like that, Sweetleaf.
You are saying women are more natural manipulators than men.
This is a very huge generalization and based on sexist old stereotypes.

Some women can be like this, but not all women are like this, Sweetleaf– so it isn't fair to extend your trust issue to all women. Even because there is some men who are very manipulators too – but at the end, all falls under denying people their individuality and confirming ourselves/others to gender stereotypes.

and oh BTW: if you want to carry suspicion and resentment towards people of your own sex as you work your way through human socializing, go right ahead, but know this: a smart person, like for example your boyfriend's mother or his female relatives, will pick up on that, sooner or later, and either reciprocate that ugliness or push your partner to dump you!


/Hmmm, so déjà vu


I don't have any real trust issues or resentment(if anything I resent people yet I like to have social interactions), just acknowledging I have noticed a lot of times women can be more skilled at manipulation that men. That said I am not using it as a loaded term...plenty of interactions and situations require some manipulation and since biologically males tend to be physically stronger it would make sense that females have had to rely on it more than males who have been able to rely more on physical strength. Or maybe its just a coincidence.

I don't think any of it is absolute however....so I wouldn't assume just because someones a women they'd be good at manipulating or just because someones a man they'd be physically strong. It would certainly depend on how they present themselves.



NorthWind
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16 Jun 2017, 1:40 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't have any real trust issues or resentment(if anything I resent people yet I like to have social interactions), just acknowledging I have noticed a lot of times women can be more skilled at manipulation that men. That said I am not using it as a loaded term...plenty of interactions and situations require some manipulation and since biologically males tend to be physically stronger it would make sense that females have had to rely on it more than males who have been able to rely more on physical strength. Or maybe its just a coincidence.

I don't think any of it is absolute however....so I wouldn't assume just because someones a women they'd be good at manipulating or just because someones a man they'd be physically strong. It would certainly depend on how they present themselves.


I think if women may be more skilled manipulators or may do it more depends on what kind of manipulation you look at. There certainly have been more male people in powerful positions who manipulated the masses (Hitler, Napoleon - like Boo pointed out). Of course that could partly be because a lot of societies make/made it much harder for a woman to get into a powerful position. There are some high paid jobs where everyone negotiates their salary and men tend to get a lot more money than women because many won't settle for less and manage to convince others that they are the best at the job and they can't do without them - making others think you're greater than you actually are and that they need you is a kind of manipulation.
Then there are manipulative tactics that some women can do better or that work better if a woman does them - like playing the victim or pretending you need help or stuff similar to 'if you don't do X you don't love me'. Using sex to get what you want also works better if you are a woman.
And of course, like you pointed out, not all manipulation is malign and there may also be harmless ways of manipulation women tend to use more possibly because some tend to be more indirect or more concerned not to sound rude.

Closet Genious wrote:
I've had experiences with women though, where they pretended to have the values they knew I would be attracted to. And then suddenly the facade crackles, and it turns out they are as shallow as a puddle. I think some women treat dating like a game, where all they want to do is to "win", no matter how fake they need to be to get there.

Some people in general do that. It's not really gender specific. It's just that men who do that won't hurt you if you are a straight male whereas women who do so will.
Some people do similar things just to get sex rather than a relationship. Those are more often male but that's due to a supply and demand problem.



b9
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16 Jun 2017, 5:35 am

just say to a girl "i wanna f**k you, and if you don't want to, off you go"



b9
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16 Jun 2017, 5:38 am

i know that sounded bad, but it is the case that they have a tiny little spot in them......a small place i want to kind of be affectionate to.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jun 2017, 6:43 am

This thread turned into a misogyny/Internalized misogyny toxic cesspool.

It shall be locked.



Closet Genious
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16 Jun 2017, 7:46 am

XFilesGeek incoming in 3...2....1...
:lol:



ZachGoodwin
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16 Jun 2017, 4:37 pm

I need to delete some of my posts on this site. The delete button fades away before I can.



b9
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16 Jun 2017, 9:41 pm

please moderator delete my 2 posts. they are filthy and smutty and i had had a few drinks and i was not really being serious but deliberately chauvenistic or something.



QuillAlba
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16 Jun 2017, 9:42 pm

Delete nothing.
own it.



Galymcd
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16 Jun 2017, 11:49 pm

I only blame myself for being alone. I'm just too awkward and anti-social to be in a successful relationship, let alone have friends.



RetroGamer87
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09 Jul 2017, 4:56 am

Galymcd wrote:
I only blame myself for being alone. I'm just too awkward and anti-social to be in a successful relationship, let alone have friends.

False. I'm awkward and anti-social and I still get into relationships. You can as well.


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lidsmichelle
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10 Jul 2017, 2:44 pm

The posters here on L&D make me glad I'm a lesbian lmao. Also my experience with dating guys prior to realizing i wasn't actually bi made me realize I'm incompatible with men romantically, sexually, and even platonically.


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