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Aysmptotes
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27 May 2007, 3:11 am

Alright I do try to make eye contact, I try to reciproate smiles, and I try to be social with my co-workers. At times I can talk with people and a guess "act normal"socially at least. But however I think it is very inconsistent. I when I get overwhelmed or just when I am to tired to try, I pretty much shut down. However, I can never be faulted for not working. I just get really focused in working and doing any mundane thing I can find to do when things aren't busy. But other times I really do try and make an effort and they are friendly back and things are fine. And most of the time I am in shut down mode. Does this happen to anyone else?



giaam
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27 May 2007, 4:13 am

I get that all the time. I can do so much NT stuff then when I've had enough then I have to shut down for a bit.


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Arbie
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27 May 2007, 4:16 am

I have the same problem.



BenJ
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27 May 2007, 5:36 am

Yeah i have the same problem. 3 weeks ago i went to the cinemas with some new friends of mine and everything went great, i had a good time. I even got a text message afterward saying what a nice guy i was.

I went out with the same group again this weekend but something was different, the social part of me wasnt in sync and i struggled through the whole night.. i kept saying stupid things that did not really fit in with the other conversation. I kept getting what i think were confused looks from the group. I was also a bit overwhelmed by anxiety which made it harder because there was alot of other people around.

But yeah in short the same thing happens to me.


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larsenjw92286
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27 May 2007, 9:30 am

Honestly, I feel inconsistent sometimes as well!


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pbcoll
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27 May 2007, 9:31 am

Sort of similar thing here.


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willem
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27 May 2007, 12:21 pm

Aysmptotes wrote:
Alright I do try to make eye contact, I try to reciproate smiles, and I try to be social with my co-workers. At times I can talk with people and a guess "act normal"socially at least. But however I think it is very inconsistent. I when I get overwhelmed or just when I am to tired to try, I pretty much shut down. However, I can never be faulted for not working. I just get really focused in working and doing any mundane thing I can find to do when things aren't busy. But other times I really do try and make an effort and they are friendly back and things are fine. And most of the time I am in shut down mode. Does this happen to anyone else?


I think social contacts are like water for NT's and like salt to us. For them it's the element they feel most at ease in, something they need in order to "do their thing". We, on the other hand, want some of it, because without it life just tastes bland. But it can quickly become too much. There is no inconsistency in how you act and feel, but rather a conflict between the actual degree of your social needs (and skills), and the degree of social needs and skills you think you "should have", because society taught you that there's no such thing as "too much socialness".


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dime_jaguar
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28 May 2007, 2:18 am

willem wrote:
Aysmptotes wrote:
Alright I do try to make eye contact, I try to reciproate smiles, and I try to be social with my co-workers. At times I can talk with people and a guess "act normal"socially at least. But however I think it is very inconsistent. I when I get overwhelmed or just when I am to tired to try, I pretty much shut down. However, I can never be faulted for not working. I just get really focused in working and doing any mundane thing I can find to do when things aren't busy. But other times I really do try and make an effort and they are friendly back and things are fine. And most of the time I am in shut down mode. Does this happen to anyone else?


I think social contacts are like water for NT's and like salt to us. For them it's the element they feel most at ease in, something they need in order to "do their thing". We, on the other hand, want some of it, because without it life just tastes bland. But it can quickly become too much. There is no inconsistency in how you act and feel, but rather a conflict between the actual degree of your social needs (and skills), and the degree of social needs and skills you think you "should have", because society taught you that there's no such thing as "too much socialness".



Haha, i like that.

Inconsistent is a good word for my social ways, and since i work at a restaurant i encounter acting differently at least 10 times a day at work. But its something ive started to not worry so much about.


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Aysmptotes
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31 May 2007, 2:15 pm

I never hadn't really though of social interaction as salt to my water of solitude. It makes sense since I don't really like salty food all that much. Haha.



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02 Jun 2007, 9:26 pm

Let's face it, pretending you're like them is exhausting. But whatcha gonna do?


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