Is low self-esteem common among Aspies?

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CuriousButDepressed
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25 Jul 2017, 9:06 am

I've always had what one might call low self-esteem. The thing is, if I genuinely achieved something of note, I would actually feel good about myself, instead of having perpetually low self-esteem just because it's who I am. I'm asking because it seems like many people emphasize the need for high self-esteem in order to succeed in life and I've always smelled a rat when it came to that, because to me, I've always seen ability as being the most important factor in success, not how good you felt about yourself. You really think a person who can't draw s**t is going to become an artist just because he "feels good about himself" and "believes in himself"? My mentality was always: "I'll try my best, but it's possible I could fail due to a number of factors" or "I'm not that good in this field, so I probably don't have much of a chance". Is this more common among Aspies, or is it possible that people can have this outlook independent of AS?



League_Girl
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25 Jul 2017, 10:02 am

I think low self esteem just means someone who thinks so negative of themselves so if you see things as the way they are about yourself like knowing you suck with other people and not good with interacting with others or showing others you care and you know you are different and you have troubles fitting in, people assume you have low self esteem. I think my self esteem was fine when I was 10 and 11 but I was labeled as having low self esteem. I also think trying to improve yourself and get better and work on your people skills does not mean you have low self esteem. It just means you recognize your faults or your flaws or what you need to work on. I also think knowing what you have troubles with is not low self esteem. If having high self esteem means lying to yourself, then I would rather have low self esteem because people with it are more honest with themselves.


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CuriousButDepressed
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25 Jul 2017, 10:15 am

Yeah, I've always found it damaging to have overly high self-esteem. Of course, one should not think they are lesser than what they truly are, but they also should not think they are more than what they truly are. Either one is an extreme approach and damaging to self-improvement. You can't fix a car if you deny what needs to be fixed, after all.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jul 2017, 10:20 am

In a nutshell: It's pretty common.

But I also think it's fairly common, too, amongst the general population, especially within the "First World." In the Third World, one has to have a certain amount of self-esteem (false, or otherwise) in order to survive.



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25 Jul 2017, 11:36 am

Suicide ideation is common amoung aspies so low self esteem is provably very prevalent.


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idonthaveanickname
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25 Jul 2017, 3:55 pm

Yes, I believe low self-esteem is very common among people with Aspergers. My self-esteem is so low it's not even funny. However, I'm getting to be pretty good at playing pool now. I never even had an interest in it until recently and now I'm being called "pool shark". I learned from my best friend who's the one who got me started playing pool in the first place. Although low self-esteem is common among Aspies, I think, too, that NTs could have low self-esteem as well.



shortfatbalduglyman
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25 Jul 2017, 8:55 pm

CuriousButDepressed wrote:
Yeah, I've always found it damaging to have overly high self-esteem. Of course, one should not think they are lesser than what they truly are, but they also should not think they are more than what they truly are. Either one is an extreme approach and damaging to self-improvement. You can't fix a car if you deny what needs to be fixed, after all.

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yeah there is no method of measuring self esteem. quantify. calibrate.

and there is no method of measuring competence or importance either.

some have too much self esteem. some have too little self esteem.

although sometimes i get the impression that almost everyone else is confidence out of proportion to competence. while i have the correct amount of confidence. and that correct amount is not that much.

:mrgreen:

on the other hand you also need a :twisted: functional :oops: amount of self esteem.

confidence

you need a practical amount of self esteem. practical for the circumstance.



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25 Jul 2017, 11:47 pm

I don't really know what low self esteem means. Is it possible to have no self esteem, neither negative or positive, just non existent? If so that's me. I can't say the concept of self esteem really occurrs to me.


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