Does the attitude help?

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Hello! I'm new here and new to the world of ASD. I'm a self diagnosed aspie. I realized that I might have asperger a few months ago. Ever since, that knowledge always came to my aid at the moments I got frustrated with myself when I couldn't interact with people properly. Before, I always tried to convince myself that it is only my fault and if I try harder I might get over it. I tried so hard to blend in, to act like other people, to act normally. I forced myself to talk with people and connect with them. I was able to make companions (as I cannot quite call these relationships friendships). Often though, these situations ended up with me despising myself even more. Still, what matters is that I could blend in with a crowd.

Now, after realizing the real reason behind my failure to interact well, I went easy on myself. Now I don't push myself to talk with people, get to know them, unless the situation demands. So, now, I don't even make companions as I did before. Now I really become the odd man out in a place. The only difference is I don't despise myself. Though I'd love to make some companions like I did before, I don't won't to go through that mind torturing process to do so. And now I know it is ok to do that. So my question is what do you think? Do you think it is good if I don't try to blend in or should I try to? Is reasoning myself to not get involved, because I am an aspie, drawing me back? How do you see it?

Hi and welcome to WP.
I agree, the self-knowledge has made a big difference to me. I'm now more relaxed knowing that it's just the way my brain is wired. I don't feel any necessity to engage in social occasions, although sometimes I do make a special effort rather than appear rude to others. I'm very happy to sit in the corner and say nothing and I'm also happy to avoid the occasions that I used to feel obliged to attend.

There's often a situation I'm frustrated with myself over, where a little voice says, "it's not you, it's the autism". I can still learn from the situation and work at making it better, without blaming myself.

I think it's always a good idea to challenge yourself, as long as it's not making yourself miserable. Trying to at least find a middle ground if possible.

I think it can only ever be a good thing to discover how you feel about a thing, observe and learn where your limits are, indeed what makes you miserable, and then with the better insight into yourself, to apply a greater respect for your own needs and boundaries.

I'm still constantly working on this myself because I spent most of my life pushing to be "normal" and ignoring my own agonies -- and it wasn't always a good thing or even a growth tool but in fact made me even more stressed than I think I might have been.

While on the other hand it's always good to push slightly on one's comfort zone -- or nothing would ever get done or accomplished -- the need to acknowledge your unique strengths and discomforts can go a long way to living a happier life as opposed to constantly disregarding one's own misery.