Bad things are said in my head for no reason

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Sometimes we all say or think things in our heads we don't mean right? Like say we wanna kill someone close to us or we hate them. I mean we don't mean those things when we say them in our heads right? I mean we're either stressed or our minds just wander right? However I feel like some of the things I say are down right dark or maybe that's just my imagination. I mean we had a death in the family a couple of months ago and just recently I thought something in my head that was downright inappropriate and insulting and would be terrible if I said it outloud. Honestly there was no reason at all for me to think about and I have nothing against that person or the people around him or her so why did I say that horrible thing. Well I didn't mean to think it it just happened and even after thinking it I'm debating whether or not I mean it. I mean I even thought it again not long after and I think I might have done it on purpose to probably test myself. I think I may have even thought similar thoughts at the funeral. I don't mean to think these things but I worry that I might and I don't wanna hurt people's feelings. I mean maybe it's just nothing but I'm just worried people might hate me for thinking such things and another thing I'm worried about is am I worried about people hating me or about hurting people's feelings because I feel like if it's the first one more than the second then people might think I'm a dick.

That's a trait of OCD. It might be linked to other disorders, though there are none that I know of. Obsessive thoughts tend to be centered around hurting people you love, religious scruples, or really any kind of thought you might regard as obscene. It certainly doesn't make you a dick, but it can interfere with your quality of life if it goes too far. I'd suggest reading up on OCD and obsessive thinking. If you can convince yourself that these thoughts aren't genuine by understanding their root cause, they're easier to ignore.

I have a lot of less than positive thoughts about myself, and I need to stop them. I get headaches from the tension they cause me. I sometimes feel stupid, less than others and have real worries about my future. Truthfully, I will never be as good as people who started much earlier than I did, even though I am now living quite a good, well-rounded life.