Boys playing with dolls and girls playing with trucks.

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nick007
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30 Jul 2020, 2:00 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
nick007 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I rathered play dolls with the girls during recess because the boys were meaner towards me & usually playing sports which I hated. Dolls aren't that much different from action figures.
i wasn't into other girl stuff thou except for swinging with the girls in PE. The girls were sometimes allowed to swing while the boys were expected to participate in some sport thing but the coach sometimes allowed me to swing with the girls i think due to my physical & mental disabilities. I was teased a bit for likeing the show My Little Pony even thou i never watched it & i didn't watch any other sterotpicial girl shows either. Some people assumed i did because i did n'ot conform to the boy stereotype either thou. This contributed to the gender confusion i've had about myself in my teens till mid 20s.

My mom is a retired preK teacher & she never cared about which types of toys the kids would chose to play with when they were allowed to play. Some of the boys would chose to play house & play with baby dolls & some girls would chose to play with action figures & toy cars & construction vehicles.


good teacher your mom was.


nobody should care ! ! !
why is everyone focused on labeling kids and strangers alike these days

and every aspect of their lives is mutilated and dissected like what the hell
is there no such thing as mystery, privacy, decency, letting things be, being easygoing, kindness, letting people explore the world through art and play...etc
why is everything extreme


it is the childs business.. what they like or dont like..

if its something wrong it can be corrected or re-directed like if the child is extremely violent and hateful to a destructive degree that is not appropriate play -
it needs to be re-directed in a gentle way, or probed deeper into (SUBTLY) by the adult, if necessary

keep their worlds gentle, pure, loving, fun, and safe! please!! ! that is our job.

people imposing everything they want on a child
because of their own sick minds wanting things to be a certain way only-

no concept of nature- like a plant-
which needs to be ignored too, aside from being watered and whatnot --

not constantly poked at, twisted and fiddled with until the plant cannot grow and just withers. we do that to OURSELVES and now we do it to CHILDREN TOO. :cry:
I completely agree blooiejagwa. I was bullied alot in elementary school for various reasons & I'm sure it left a negative mark on me. I've had LOTS of huge fights with my mom till I moved out at 30 & I know I do complain about her on this forum sometimes. She definitely did NOT understand me & she did not have the patience to deal with a special needs kid at home. However she did a lot more for me than most parents would do for their kids. She was also devoted to teaching. I'm sure if I had teachers like her, I would of done better in school & I would of had a good relationship with them. She was burnt out from all the bureaucracy & other BS about her job when she got home & she was frustrated with me for being so dependent & needy & she felt I could of been trying a lot harder with things. I know I could of tried harder but I was burnt out with school during the school year & I've been overwhelmed with various life stuff & didn't have a clue what I could do. It's like I have a mental block with things & I need others to guide me for a while before I feel I can do various things. I do have a much better relationship with my mom now that I've moved out. We don't have a close relationship but we get along in small doses & she does show concern for me & my girlfriend & our life.


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08 Jul 2021, 5:07 pm

I played with trucks as a toddler, but I don't see an issue with it. My first cousin as a toddler played with a baby doll, and there's no issue. I like masculine things like sports, video games, cars, and other things, but that doesn't make me the opposite sex. In fact, a man that wants to appear feminine like wearing makeup and dresses doesn't make him less of a man, and when I was thinner, I wore boy's and men's t-shirts, but that didn't make me less of a female. Your interests are what you like, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.



Lost_dragon
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09 Jul 2021, 11:41 am

Frankly I'm creeped out by baby dolls. Especially hyper-realistic ones that look like toddlers, I hate those. I don't mind being around kids, but dolls are just rather uncanny valley for me. Especially porcelain dolls. I went to an old mansion once and I couldn't stand to look at them, the facial expressions on the dolls were so vacant I hated it.

However, Barbies are fine. They're not as close to regular humans, so they don't creep me out. I don't like vetroquilist dolls though. The more realistic, the more creeped out I am. I've felt this way since I was eight. Seeing material discussing Child's play at that age left an impression. Plus, I used to be sent to the headteacher's office a lot as a kid and she used to have a whole collection of dolls and I hated how fake the expressions on their plastic faces looked. Forever vacantly smiling. I used to throw them on the floor because I didn't want to look at them.

Before then though, I used to have toy dolls. One baby doll and a couple of barbies. I treated the baby doll more like a younger brother than my child, I'd sit there and discuss my day and vent about my problems to this doll and give it a voice. As for the barbies, I treated them like superheroes. Not so creatively called 'Good Barbie', 'Evil Barbie' and 'Ken'. Evil Barbie would kidnap Ken and hold him ransom until Good Barbie would show up. Then they'd have a cheesy James Bond-esque style showdown. I stole a toy gun from our set of Cluedo for Evil barbie to threaten Good Barbie with but she never actually killed Good Barbie. My parents were a little concerned. :lol: Evil Barbie also had mind control powers but she never really wanted to cause any serious damage, just annoy Good Barbie and cause minor havoc around town.

Anyway, I never cared much for trucks. I liked building blocks though. What used to annoy me was when people around me would tell me that I was playing with Barbies wrong and that I was supposed to be brushing their hair instead. Interrupting my play time and changing my plot lines. I would be told off for being too violent with my stories and that Barbie should go to the spa instead, which I would complain about because Barbie can't go to the spa right now when she's busy fighting crime. She can do that later.

I disliked the gender roles people kept trying to enforce on me. Which I was very aware of, because I picked up on the fact that the boys were never told to tone down their violence. I especially hated when I couldn't interact with the boys because adults kept making jokes about us dating and how cute it was when I all I wanted to do was play pretend with other kids and build things.


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Joe90
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09 Jul 2021, 11:51 am

I see it both ways. I don't think a little boy should be encouraged to play with dolls but I don't think they should be judged if they do play with dolls. What I mean by encouraged is I don't think we should feel obliged to give in to all this political correctness propaganda by encouraging genderlessness because I hate that. But there's nothing wrong with a little boy playing with dolls. To me, playing is playing really. Just like little girls playing with trucks. When I was little I liked playing with trains and getting dirty. My parents didn't encourage me to like that sort of thing, as I was dressed in girly clothes as a baby and a toddler, but I still preferred to get dirty and I liked Thomas the Tank Engine, so my mum and dad just let me play how I wanted.

It's the teenage gender roles that got to me, like girls having to shave their legs. Looking back I bet I was the only girl at school who blissfully walked around with hairy legs showing. :oops: It's a shame that sort of pressure is put upon girls.


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nick007
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10 Jul 2021, 2:29 am

^^^ I agree with you Joe. Kids should be allowed to like what they like & be into what they want regardless of their gender.

There is a lot of pressure put on both genders 1ce they become teens. Guys are expected to be obsessed with trying to score & get laid. Some of my peers thought I was gay cuz I liked boy bands, hated sports, didn't really know much about sex, & I kinda had a gay vibe sometimes. It contributed to me developing Gender Identity Disorder & being really confused about my gender & sexual orientation as a teen till my later 20s. Trying to figure myself out just made me even more confused. Nowadays I don't really care what I am. I just know that I am how I am & want to live my life being me.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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10 Jul 2021, 4:39 am

nick007 wrote:
^^^ I agree with you Joe. Kids should be allowed to like what they like & be into what they want regardless of their gender.

There is a lot of pressure put on both genders 1ce they become teens. Guys are expected to be obsessed with trying to score & get laid. Some of my peers thought I was gay cuz I liked boy bands, hated sports, didn't really know much about sex, & I kinda had a gay vibe sometimes. It contributed to me developing Gender Identity Disorder & being really confused about my gender & sexual orientation as a teen till my later 20s. Trying to figure myself out just made me even more confused. Nowadays I don't really care what I am. I just know that I am how I am & want to live my life being me.


I remember the pressure. I’ve never cared about being ladylike or super feminine unless I had to fake interest in those things just to get people to quit bugging me about it. Nor did I care about being into the “tomboy” label.

Now that I’m an adult and have figured my own identity out, I really don’t care about gender. If I had to choose a gender identity, I’d say gender fluid or agender. At this point I’m just me.


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10 Jul 2021, 3:08 pm

Personally, unisex toys, and games happily became the rule; that is toys, and later on games that fostered healthy, (even sometimes comical) competition, play, experiences, etc.



Joe90
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10 Jul 2021, 3:54 pm

Yes, I understand that teenage boys have other pressures that girls don't have to put up with. At high school boys and girls done PE (Phys ed) separately. The boys had to play tough games such as rugby and get really dirty, and they couldn't get out of it because it was part of the curriculum. It must have been really hard and daunting for some boys who weren't into sports and didn't like getting dirty. But boys were expected to be tough. At least the girls got treated more delicately in PE, we were allowed to be 'wimps' (don't know if that is the correct word) and if it was raining we had to go indoors to keep dry.

The expectations for boys is to be tough, the expectations for girls is to be pretty.


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