Anybody here who doesn't have autism?

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anti_gone
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25 Aug 2017, 5:09 am

Quote:
That’s true, I was more just talking anecdotally based on what I’d seen here. It can be hard to tell whether you’re socially awkward when all your friends consider themselves to be socially awkward, so either I just attract a lot of awkward people, or a lot of people underestimate their abilities.

Haha, true :D Lately, I went through my friends and acquaintances and most of them are a bit socially awkward and/or have some form of OCD or ADHD, some are (only) extremely shy without being socially awkdward. I guess most of the people who studied computer science with me are a bit like that, some might also be on the spectrum. Having to deal with people outside this social circle or my family feels like a culture shock sometimes..having to make smalltalk, people talking behind other's backs and trying to form coalitions through that (I'm really bad at that stuff and I object to it), people thinking I'm weird because I listen to many music genres, people taking selfies all the time...

Ok, I'm only talking about myself again. Might not be really helpful.

Quote:
Yeah, I was also speaking anecdotally here as well. I saw some people saying that they found dialogue hard to write because they found it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

When people on this message boards have traits that could be related to ASD they tend to generalize them a bit too much IMO. Like: Of course I cannot go to concerts, as an aspie I'm hypersensitive to bright lights (you don't have to hypersensitive to light).


Quote:
I don’t tend to go to parties very often.

See, I love to go to parties (and yes, I have an official diagnosis). On the other hand, I'm good at math and I'm really bad at sports, so at least I fit these stereotypes :D



Lost_dragon
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25 Aug 2017, 9:44 am

Quote:
I don’t tend to go to parties very often.


anti_gone wrote:
See, I love to go to parties (and yes, I have an official diagnosis). On the other hand, I'm good at math and I'm really bad at sports, so at least I fit these stereotypes :D


I tend to confuse my friends because I claim to want to go to parties, but I also avoid them. On the surface, this is contradictory-but let me explain. I haven’t been to a party since I was 13 or younger, and I’m 18 now. Parties can be loud and confusing, and very tiring. I’m somewhat on the introverted side, so it can be tiring having conversations for a long time.

It’s funny because I have memories of going to parties and spending my time reorganising the snacks, and spending time with some kid’s mother talking about their goldfish in the kitchen. When I’m bored or uneasy, I tend to organise things (particularly when it comes to colour coding) so if things are organised when I’m around it’s usually a good indication that something is bothering me. :D

The thing about maths is that I’m often better at more logic-based questions, it’s the simple arithmetic of it all that tends to trip me up. I can have a hard time applying numbers to real life and mental maths is next to impossible.

People often over-estimate my ability to manipulate numbers, one of my old maths teachers certainly did. You see, because I scored lower on foundation papers and higher on higher-level maths papers, she didn’t think it was possible for me to be dyscalculic when my mum asked her about it. I’m actually fairly good at algebra and manipulating shapes, but with multiplication, division, direction, and understanding time and measurements, I’ve always struggled.

If someone were to ask me how long something would take to get somewhere whilst travelling at a certain speed, I’d find it difficult. I often misjudge these things, if I see a bike coming I often jump out of the way of the bike way before it actually passes me because I think the bike is going to reach me way before it actually does. :x

I remember when I first joined my secondary school, and on the opening day I made a tower out of blocks as an activity in the maths room and the head of maths was impressed and asked if I enjoyed maths then because I was good with shapes, and I laughed and said “Nah, maths is terrible” (I didn’t realise they were the head of maths until later, whoops). :oops:

With sports…it really varies. I was never good at things like netball or rounders, but I was decent at football and good at field hockey and table tennis.

Quote:
That’s true, I was more just talking anecdotally based on what I’d seen here. It can be hard to tell whether you’re socially awkward when all your friends consider themselves to be socially awkward, so either I just attract a lot of awkward people, or a lot of people underestimate their abilities.


anti_gone wrote:
Haha, true :D Lately, I went through my friends and acquaintances and most of them are a bit socially awkward and/or have some form of OCD or ADHD, some are (only) extremely shy without being socially awkward. I guess most of the people who studied computer science with me are a bit like that, some might also be on the spectrum.


I studied IT, and I know that there is quite a stereotype that IT nerds tend to be…a bit inept. With my group of friends, I’d say that certainly rings true. One of my friends suspects he has ADHD, but he’s never been tested. He also scored similarly on that RAADS-R test to me with a 94 where I scored 123, whereas my other friend scored 30 (which is interesting because my friend who scored 30 often says stuff like she thinks she thinks that out of the three of us, she thinks that she’s the most likely to be autistic, but she doesn’t think that any of us would fit the diagnosis).

She can be socially anxious, which is something that I can relate to. They often make fun of me because they don’t have sensory issues like me, so they often invade my personal space and do things that they know will bother me sensory wise because they find it amusing. Also, one of my friends likes to ruin things that I just organised because he knows that I’m probably going to go back and correct it, and when I do he can make fun of me for being so petty. I usually try to ignore the urge to correct it, but often fail. :x

anti_gone wrote:
Having to deal with people outside this social circle or my family feels like a culture shock sometimes..having to make smalltalk, people talking behind other's backs and trying to form coalitions through that (I'm really bad at that stuff and I object to it), people thinking I'm weird because I listen to many music genres, people taking selfies all the time...

Ok, I'm only talking about myself again. Might not be really helpful.


Yeah, social rules can vary depending on groups. I know in one of my groups it was acceptable to talk about certain things, but in my other group it was a definite no-no to talk about those things. In my group, people find me weird for taking so many selfies- but in many groups, this is considered normal behaviour. I also listen to quite a few music genres, but people have never found me weird for it. People often compliment me on my music taste.

Small-talk can be dreadfully boring, and the rules regulating small talk tend to vary. In some of my groups, it’s actually pretty normal for people to say “Actually, this conversation is getting kind of boring, how about we talk about something else?” but in other groups this would be considered incredibly rude. That’s why I like my main group, everyone just seems to get it and there’s no complaints if someone wants to cut the boring small talk for once.

Quote:
Yeah, I was also speaking anecdotally here as well. I saw some people saying that they found dialogue hard to write because they found it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.


anti_gone wrote:
When people on this message boards have traits that could be related to ASD they tend to generalize them a bit too much IMO. Like: Of course I cannot go to concerts, as an aspie I'm hypersensitive to bright lights (you don't have to hypersensitive to light).


That’s true. I’m over-sensitive to things, but not everything. I’m not oversensitive to pain, but I certainly am to certain smells and sounds. There have been times where I’ve had to leave music events because they’ve been too loud for me. I remember one I went to where I was wearing earplugs (I was dragged along by my family, but they got me some earplugs just in case it became too much for me) and no joke, I could still hear the music even though I had earplugs in, but at least with the earplugs it was actually at a more tolerable volume.

Another time we went to see this woman singing, and as soon as we entered I wanted to leave. I kept pacing around in the toilets trying to calm down. In the end I went home and my parents stayed at this event whilst I watched Guardians of the galaxy. :D So in a way, it worked out in the end.


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