Anybody here who doesn't have autism?

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SaveFerris
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22 Aug 2017, 3:22 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Two one time very active lady members (Nurseangela, and Soc.of.autism) are always very upfront about not being on the autism spectrum.


I feel responsible for Soc.of.autism not posting anymore as I think I really bothered her with my opinion.


To the OP's question, I might not have autism as I haven't had a Dx.


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naturalplastic
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22 Aug 2017, 4:06 pm

What did you say to Soc.?

She left for a while ( a family crises, or something like that), but then came back, but even more recently seems to be awol again. Both times were probably for reasons that have nothing to do with you.



Last edited by naturalplastic on 22 Aug 2017, 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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22 Aug 2017, 4:27 pm

I am not formally diagnosed, but I have some of the traits of Asperger syndrome.



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22 Aug 2017, 4:30 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
What did you say to Soc.?

She left for a while ( a family crises, or something like that), but then came back, but even more recently seems to be awol again.


It was in this thread , It was the last post she made here so I feel rather guilty.


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naturalplastic
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22 Aug 2017, 7:26 pm

Looks like she was upset.

Hope that she comes back.



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22 Aug 2017, 7:29 pm

Soc of Autism has a degenerative muscular condition.

She's had much worse criticism---and that didn't drive her away.

She also has a husband and a child.



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22 Aug 2017, 11:49 pm

I was diagnosed with "mild, atypical" Asperger's and NLD when I was 13. The professionals admitted at the time it was difficult to place a diagnosis; I was socially awkward, a black-and-white thinker and obsessive about interests, but it just didn't feel entirely like Asperger's... but there was really no diagnosis that did fit better, either.

I don't think Asperger's fits perfectly, either. For one, I don't have any sensory issues, which seem to be a hallmark for many people. I have also improved immensely over time and grown out of many of the traits (not to say people with Asperger's can't improve immensely). Most of the Aspie traits are really more like quirky personality traits at this point; I suppose if I were to tell someone I was diagnosed on the spectrum, they could see the vestiges in my personality, but I don't think people would go 'aha' if I told them; I think they'd be surprised (I think? Not that I've tried...).

But... that said, I do have several traits, and I relate to a lot of the posts here. I don't think the spectrum is a linear line; rather, I conceptualize mental functioning as a sort of 3D color spectrum, wherein the extremes are classically defined disorders, and within that cube, you have shades of traits to varying degrees. Somewhere in there, I think I am on the phenotype, to varying degrees on varying things, but I'm not on the extremes.



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23 Aug 2017, 8:13 am

Personally I don't keep track of who here has autism and who doesn't or doesn't have an official dx or whatever. I consider it irrelevant.



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23 Aug 2017, 10:37 am

As has been said, there are partners and parents, girlfriends and boyfriends here, who don't have autism but who are here because their loved one has it.

I don't think I've noticed anyone treating them unfairly, unkindly or like they shouldn't be here. From what I've seen, they are perfectly well accepted and part of the friendships around here. Soc of Autism and NurseAngela are among them, also someone whose husband is on the spectrum; they are part of the conversations here and have valuable input to give.

I can't speak for how they might feel when some of us have a little "vent" about "NTs" ways at times . . . not everyone here "hates" NTs it's just that once in a while something comes up in life, regarding something that has made us feel acutely aware that people without autism are not experiencing things quite the same as people with autism, and an individual NT person or even just a situation more comfortable for allistic people has made life difficult of an autistic person. When I have whined a bit about something like that, it's not ALL NTs I'm condemning. I'm just venting usually about the one NT that made things difficult for me that particular occasion I'm venting about, and I'm feeling "the difference."

Everyone needs to vent once in a while, and it's not personal to the people in the room who may be of the same category. There are always differences that irk us -- even an NT person will want to vent about another NT person who, for example is on the other political side, or who isn't the same religion, or who doesn't like their football team. . . it's human once in while to say "goddamn what is up with those OTHER people?"

It doesn't mean you hate the whole lot, most of the time.



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23 Aug 2017, 5:25 pm

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
Also, Lost_dragon- make sure the "confirmation bias" isn't making you think you don't have autism. I'm not trying to make you feel like you have it, but if you think "I don't have autism, no matter what" and that is "confirmed" by you not having a particular symptom, then you will really not believe you have it when you might actually have it.

Again, not trying to make you think you are/aren't autistic, but the "confirmation bias" does play quite a large role in my life, since I have OCD as well.


True, I did consider that when I made this thread. I recognise that it's a possibility as I'm not so keen on the idea of having autism because I'm still trying to accept that I might not be NT and may have a learning difficulty (dyscalculia) which I'm currently in the process of trying to get a diagnosis for. Yeah, I've also considered OCD because my family tend to label me as such (usually in a joke type manner though) but then again I realise that a lot of people who claim to "be a tad OCD" are usually not, but then again people have reached out to me on chat forums and even here people have pointed out symptoms that I show of it, and I usually score high on OCD tests.

I also considered misophonia and sensory processing for the sensory issues, I certainly hate certain sounds like high-pitched whistling and people chewing gum, but I also have issues unrelated to sound (like with certain smells and sensations). With all of these things combined, I did wonder about the possibility of autism. The difficulty is that a lot of these conditions seem to overlap with each other, so that can make identifying the issue difficult.

One of the main reasons that I discounted autism was that people often call it a social issue, something that doesn't really go away. But I'm actually pretty good at socialising these days, granted there are times when I mess up on occasion. But it's not anywhere near how I was. My issues mostly lie in sensory things (finding it hard to eat with others when certain types of food are present, sometimes finding it impossible and having to eat alone) and obsessions (forgetting about a conversation because I got distracted by something I find interesting, researching topics, having to check certain things due to repetitive thoughts/ do certain actions).

I no longer over-react when people enter my personal space, and I no longer have any issues with eye contact and when I used to it was only with a select few people. I know how to smile properly now, although yeah- still find the whole sounding enthusiastic thing difficult. And at times miss sarcasm, I'm better at being sarcastic than picking up on it. I'm becoming better at being less literal though. Although, I'm not sure about facial expressions and body language. Some people say I'm good at it, others say I'm terrible. If the face and voice test thread was anything to go by, yeesh I think I could do with some practice.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2017, 5:30 pm

I was a true-blue "classic autistic" when I was a young child. I mean...no speech, oblivious to what was around me. Doctors considered me a "vegetable," and recommended institutionalization.

But here I am now.....very lucky. I made my adjustments. But I will always be autistic.

And there ain't nothing wrong with that!



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23 Aug 2017, 5:34 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
StampySquiddyFan wrote:
Also, Lost_dragon- make sure the "confirmation bias" isn't making you think you don't have autism. I'm not trying to make you feel like you have it, but if you think "I don't have autism, no matter what" and that is "confirmed" by you not having a particular symptom, then you will really not believe you have it when you might actually have it.

Again, not trying to make you think you are/aren't autistic, but the "confirmation bias" does play quite a large role in my life, since I have OCD as well.


True, I did consider that when I made this thread. I recognise that it's a possibility as I'm not so keen on the idea of having autism because I'm still trying to accept that I might not be NT and may have a learning difficulty (dyscalculia) which I'm currently in the process of trying to get a diagnosis for. Yeah, I've also considered OCD because my family tend to label me as such (usually in a joke type manner though) but then again I realise that a lot of people who claim to "be a tad OCD" are usually not, but then again people have reached out to me on chat forums and even here people have pointed out symptoms that I show of it, and I usually score high on OCD tests.

I also considered misophonia and sensory processing for the sensory issues, I certainly hate certain sounds like high-pitched whistling and people chewing gum, but I also have issues unrelated to sound (like with certain smells and sensations). With all of these things combined, I did wonder about the possibility of autism. The difficulty is that a lot of these conditions seem to overlap with each other, so that can make identifying the issue difficult.

One of the main reasons that I discounted autism was that people often call it a social issue, something that doesn't really go away. But I'm actually pretty good at socialising these days, granted there are times when I mess up on occasion. But it's not anywhere near how I was. My issues mostly lie in sensory things (finding it hard to eat with others when certain types of food are present, sometimes finding it impossible and having to eat alone) and obsessions (forgetting about a conversation because I got distracted by something I find interesting, researching topics, having to check certain things due to repetitive thoughts/ do certain actions).

I no longer over-react when people enter my personal space, and I no longer have any issues with eye contact and when I used to it was only with a select few people. I know how to smile properly now, although yeah- still find the whole sounding enthusiastic thing difficult. And at times miss sarcasm, I'm better at being sarcastic than picking up on it. I'm becoming better at being less literal though. Although, I'm not sure about facial expressions and body language. Some people say I'm good at it, others say I'm terrible. If the face and voice test thread was anything to go by, yeesh I think I could do with some practice.


Yeah- my main problems are sensory too. You sound like me with eye contact/social skills- I can fake eye contact with certain people, but I can't make it at all with others. Maybe I will grow out of that too :D . I hope you can get a diagnosis that suits you and your needs. Whatever the outcome is, you are still a great person and have been a wonderful support to me here. You may not be autistic, but you still are welcome here even if you aren't. You are probably not neurotypical, that's for sure :D !


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24 Aug 2017, 4:59 am

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
Yeah- my main problems are sensory too. You sound like me with eye contact/social skills- I can fake eye contact with certain people, but I can't make it at all with others. Maybe I will grow out of that too :D .


Well, it is possible. I was 15 when I started to improve on my eye contact, and at 16 I had no issues at all with it. You're only 13 now, so your situation with eye contact could potentially change.

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
I hope you can get a diagnosis that suits you and your needs. Whatever the outcome is, you are still a great person and have been a wonderful support to me here.


Yeah, I hope so too. Thank you for your kind words, it's nice to know that you have found my presence here to be helpful. :)

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
You may not be autistic, but you still are welcome here even if you aren't. You are probably not neurotypical, that's for sure :D !


It's still weird to me hearing that, I mean- people have speculated about me being ND for quite sometime but with a potential LD diagnosis in the near future, the possibility that I'm not NT is becoming a lot more real to me. In a weird way- it's almost daunting having my suspicions either confirmed or denied. But I also realise that it doesn't change anything, I'm still the same old me after all. It'll be good if it turns out that I'm entitled to some help, but what I don't want to happen is people talking down to me, I hate condescending people. :x


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24 Aug 2017, 8:48 am

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Many seem to struggle with maintaining friendships and writing dialogue in stories, but I've never struggled with that properly. I'm good at writing character dialogue, I find it easy to put myself in the position of my characters and I seem to know them better than I even know myself.

I also don't have trouble maintaining friendships and I also have a number of friends. Apart from that, I'm still socially awkward and many people don't like me or think I'm really weird. I'm just lucky to know the right people and, yes, I'm quite good at maintaining friendships since I don't have social anxiety and get in touch with my friends regularly. Social problems manifest in different ways. I have been to many places where people would shun me or be against me, including workplace.

You don't have to be bad at maintaining friendships to fit the diagnostic criteria.

Quote:
Many seem to struggle with maintaining friendships and writing dialogue in stories, but I've never struggled with that properly. I'm good at writing character dialogue, I find it easy to put myself in the position of my characters and I seem to know them better than I even know myself.

Again, this is not something stated in either ICD-10 oder DSM-5. Never even heard that before.
I see no reason why a people with ASD could not possibily be good at writing dialogue:
-It could mean you're very good at observing other people's behaviour, especially the tiny details. So your ASD could actually be beneficial to that.
-(Some, not all) people with ASD spend a lot of time actively und consciously thinking about other people's thoughts, motivations, intentions, moods or behaviours. There's also a thread here about how some people on the spectrum see others as pieces of a puzzle. This could also be beneficial.
-Mimicking other's behavior is also something common on the spectrum.

Apart from that, if you DO NOT fit the criteria, you could "just" be a highly sensitive person. I just want to point out that things like "I cannot possibly have ASD because people with ASD don't go to parties/don't have friends/are good at maths/are good at sports" can be proven wrong with counterexamples most of the time.



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24 Aug 2017, 10:26 am

Quote:
Many seem to struggle with maintaining friendships and writing dialogue in stories, but I've never struggled with that properly.


anti_gone wrote:
I also don't have trouble maintaining friendships and I also have a number of friends. Apart from that, I'm still socially awkward and many people don't like me or think I'm really weird. I'm just lucky to know the right people and, yes, I'm quite good at maintaining friendships since I don't have social anxiety and get in touch with my friends regularly. Social problems manifest in different ways. I have been to many places where people would shun me or be against me, including workplace.

You don't have to be bad at maintaining friendships to fit the diagnostic criteria.


That’s true, I was more just talking anecdotally based on what I’d seen here. It can be hard to tell whether you’re socially awkward when all your friends consider themselves to be socially awkward, so either I just attract a lot of awkward people, or a lot of people underestimate their abilities.

People don’t tend to shun me much, aside from homophobic reasons but ah well.

Quote:
I'm good at writing character dialogue, I find it easy to put myself in the position of my characters and I seem to know them better than I even know myself.


anti_gone wrote:
Again, this is not something stated in either ICD-10 oder DSM-5. Never even heard that before.
I see no reason why a people with ASD could not possibly be good at writing dialogue:

-It could mean you're very good at observing other people's behaviour, especially the tiny details. So your ASD could actually be beneficial to that.

-(Some, not all) people with ASD spend a lot of time actively and consciously thinking about other people's thoughts, motivations, intentions, moods or behaviours. There's also a thread here about how some people on the spectrum see others as pieces of a puzzle. This could also be beneficial.

-Mimicking other's behaviour is also something common on the spectrum.


Yeah, I was also speaking anecdotally here as well. I saw some people saying that they found dialogue hard to write because they found it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

I’m usually good at picking up on minor details, which can help with my hobbies like photography but then there are some details that I tend to miss. I’d say that it is possible to overdo it though, sometimes you can read too much into a minor (potentially negative) body movement which probably wasn’t even intentional, so it is important to take a step back sometimes and consider the context and whether such a reaction or movement would make sense in the situation.

I wouldn’t say that I view people as a puzzle, I’d say that I view them more as an individual book. Each you can learn a lesson from, or several, and many friendships have a beginning, middle and end. Some friendships are best left in the past because people change and drift away from each other, and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s for the best.

In terms of mimicking people’s behaviour, I don’t tend to do that.

anti_gone wrote:
Apart from that, if you DO NOT fit the criteria, you could "just" be a highly sensitive person. I just want to point out that things like "I cannot possibly have ASD because people with ASD don't go to parties/don't have friends/are good at maths/are good at sports" can be proven wrong with counterexamples most of the time.


True. I think I am probably just a highly sensitive person. Yeah, I realise that all of those things are stereotypes. Personally, I’m bad at maths, ok at some sports like field hockey and table tennis, I have friends, and parties are fun yet also terrifying. 8O I don’t tend to go to parties very often.


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