Do you experience or feel "awkward" silence?

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Justgeorge
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24 Aug 2017, 1:39 pm

The idea of being in a car or room or just near somebody, whether i know them or not, and not speaking doesn't feel uncomfortable or awkward to me (sometimes i actually prefer it), but i often hear people refer to "awkward silence."
I feel that silence naturally occurs when there is no need to speak or when any pertinent topics have been discussed to a satisfying conclusion. I was wondering if anyone else feels the way i do or is silence awkward for most?



Joe90
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24 Aug 2017, 2:03 pm

Awkward silences make me really uncomfortable. Even worse when it's only me and one other person in the room.


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SZWell
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24 Aug 2017, 2:24 pm

I feel like it's one of my skills. I like to out awkward people and wonder what they think of me


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Sameen
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24 Aug 2017, 2:57 pm

I feel the same as the OP. I can't see any point in talking
just for the sake of it and silence doesn't bother me at all.

However, if the other person is uncomfortable and wants
to talk then I would try to be sociable and chat with them.
I find chatting with strangers a lot easier now than I used to.



Keladry
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24 Aug 2017, 10:38 pm

I think I've probably caused other people to feel "awkward" silence, but don't feel it myself. Sometimes actually I really like to be in the presence of somebody without talking, especially if I am just getting to know the person. I think it unnerves other people though and they think it is odd. (but then small talk/talking just to talk or to get to know someone feels awkward and odd to me, so it's a two-way street!)



SplendidSnail
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24 Aug 2017, 11:29 pm

How about "only if it's awkward"?

Silence won't make me feel awkward, but if the other person is trying unsuccessfully to make conversation with me, and the result is long, awkward pauses, then yes, I will feel awkward.


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EmmaHyde
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25 Aug 2017, 1:05 am

Yes, I both experience and feel "awkward" silences. I end up rambling and saying something completely inappropriate in an attempt to be funny, which thankfully most of the people in my life end up forgiving me.


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Skilpadde
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25 Aug 2017, 1:15 am

I seldom feel awkward silence. I always have a preference for not talking.
If I'm around strangers or in a place I have to be (like school or work) then I never feel any awkward silence.
The very few times I want to interact with someone who is talking to me but can't come up with anything to say, then I feel awkward silence and pressure. If I don't want to talk to them, I don't care that I can't think of anything to say, it just means they will move on sooner.

When I was 13, 14 and 16 I was given a ride home by three different sets of people. Each time I felt awkward silence because I felt that I owed them conversation since they drove me home. Particularly bad when I was 13 and it was just me and the driver so no one else to help out.


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25 Aug 2017, 5:34 am

I'm a Quaker. Silence is my natural language.

Also, in the silence of the quaker meeting I feel equal with others. I feel connected to others in a way that I would normally be overwhelmed.

However, silence can easily be awkward and toxic around people when silence is either unexpected or unprepared. There is a silence that liberates and a silence that feels quite the opposite.



Justgeorge
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25 Aug 2017, 11:28 am

I would like to thank everyone whohad responded so far for the variety of responses and viewpoints. Apparently it depends on the individual and their background. Again, thank you.



sorrysorry
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26 Aug 2017, 1:55 am

I don't feel awkward when conversation lulls either. If we're good enough friends, it just means we're comfortable enough to not have to fill every moment with babble. If we're strangers or not that acquainted, I'm just not interested.



ToughDiamond
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26 Aug 2017, 1:57 pm

Yes I experience silence as awkward. Even when I'm reassured that it's fine, I can't shake my gut reaction that something's wrong, that it means there's some kind of hostility between us. Quite strange in a way, because conversation can quickly stress and tire me, and I love the idea that silence between friends can be a pleasant thing.



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26 Aug 2017, 6:59 pm

For me it depends on the situation. Sometimes it feels natural and safe to not talk. But sometimes silence feels awkward if I know I am supposed to say something in a conversation but I have no idea what I am supposed to say.


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soloha
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26 Aug 2017, 7:24 pm

Silence in the presence of others is not intrinsically awkward for me. It's actually vey comfortable. But it is usually awkward for others and if they expect me to talk to alleviate their discomfort then that expectation makes it awkward for me.



skibum
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26 Aug 2017, 7:43 pm

You make a great point. What makes the awkward feeling is actually the expectation of conversation, not the silence itself.


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26 Aug 2017, 11:36 pm

I've felt it less as I grow older, for a number of reasons I guess. What counts as an "awkward silence" is up to interpretation at times... some NTs get easily uncomfortable while others don't mind as much.