Relationship advice needed (male NT / female AS)

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Hi everyone! I'm completely new here and looking for some advice. I'm an NT male and have been in a relationship with a wonderful Aspergirl for just over two years. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been the most rewarding relationship that I've ever had, and I love her with all of my heart.

Over the course of this summer, my girlfriend slowly developed feelings for a colleague at work. She was completely honest about this, even going as far as to tell me that she felt unable to trust herself around him, but I tried to play down her fears and told her that these feelings would pass. Last week, she messaged me in a panic telling me that they had alcohol-influenced sexual contact the night before, and that she now had no idea what she wanted, or indeed who she was becoming as a person.

I tried to calm her down and reassure her that everything was okay, but her thoughts continued to spiral, claiming that something was irretrievably "missing" from our love that she could not define. One week later, she has placed our relationship somewhere between "on a break" and completely over - she chose to use the former term at first, but very quickly found the ambiguity unsettling and decided we should break up, at least for now.

We plan to check in emotionally in a few weeks, and she seems intent on maintaining a friendship at least. In the meantime, however, I'm quite concerned for her wellbeing - this is very out of character for her, and outside of myself and the other guy, she has a fairly small social circle with only 1-2 people who could act as confidants in this situation.

I know every Aspergirl is very different, but would you guys have any advice for me here? All of the advice I'm getting from NT-types is to focus on my own happiness, give each other time and space, and, if I want to get back together, allow her time to miss me. But this fails to take into account her AS, and I don't know if any of these things would be either psychologically damaging for her (or indeed strategically damaging for my hopes of reconciliation). I suddenly find myself massively out of my depth and I have no idea how to proceed.

Thanks so much.

I'm sorry to say it, but she's gone with the wind. Best thing you can do right now is start forgetting about her and start healing. Give yourself 3 or 4 weeks and get back on the dating circuit.

I am truly sorry this happened to you. We can't do anything about getting her back to you, but if you just need to get stuff off your chest, we're here for you.