what do you look for in a partner?

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magz
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06 Oct 2017, 9:50 am

rdos wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
I do a lot of analyzing to, but not to check against lists of traits I decided must match between us. The analyzing is more about trying to figure out as much as possible about the girl without having to ask about it. :wink:

I didn't check the list points too. Just putting them in this form made me realise them. It is very hard for me to realise something without expressing it.


So you mean you created the list to make sense of somebody? That makes a lot of sense, and I use that approach too. At least I try to. It helps if you have somebody to discuss it with, or just send finished analysis to. Writing a diary might be a good idea too.

Not exactly... I had no idea there existed a man fitting all the points. We met some 4 years later. I was just systemizing what I wanted and who I was looking for.
Then forgot about the list for years to ultimately find out that the man I married fitted all the points.


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Bataar
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06 Oct 2017, 10:15 am

At this point, the most important thing is that she's single. My God is it hard to meet women who are single.



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06 Oct 2017, 12:30 pm

Someone who won't judge me, someone who understands me, intelligence, a kind and caring personality, and someone who will love me back.

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sly279
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06 Oct 2017, 4:00 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
I always thought lists like that were very objectifying and cold. It's how I think when I buy a new tv or phone, not when connecting with other human beings. But it's sadly very common for women to do this.

Got a message about my dating post and it just said , do you have a picture.
I recently tried selling my car and got similar messages. I actually bought at first it was about the car. It made me realize the men are just objects women are considering buying. Atleast their messages and lists of requirements are the same as when people are shopping around for something. Quite sad.
I on the other hand have no lists and I message asking about their interests and personality. I wait til we’ve talked a whole before asking for s picture.



sly279
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06 Oct 2017, 4:02 pm

magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
I do a lot of analyzing to, but not to check against lists of traits I decided must match between us. The analyzing is more about trying to figure out as much as possible about the girl without having to ask about it. :wink:

I didn't check the list points too. Just putting them in this form made me realise them. It is very hard for me to realise something without expressing it.


So you mean you created the list to make sense of somebody? That makes a lot of sense, and I use that approach too. At least I try to. It helps if you have somebody to discuss it with, or just send finished analysis to. Writing a diary might be a good idea too.

Not exactly... I had no idea there existed a man fitting all the points. We met some 4 years later. I was just systemizing what I wanted and who I was looking for.
Then forgot about the list for years to ultimately find out that the man I married fitted all the points.

A lot of women make lists and the list are so long, there’s no guy that’ll match it, they either need to settle or remain alone forever. I don’t have hope for the future of the USA, no wonder we are going into a negative population growth.



Closet Genious
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06 Oct 2017, 5:09 pm

sly279 wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
I do a lot of analyzing to, but not to check against lists of traits I decided must match between us. The analyzing is more about trying to figure out as much as possible about the girl without having to ask about it. :wink:

I didn't check the list points too. Just putting them in this form made me realise them. It is very hard for me to realise something without expressing it.


So you mean you created the list to make sense of somebody? That makes a lot of sense, and I use that approach too. At least I try to. It helps if you have somebody to discuss it with, or just send finished analysis to. Writing a diary might be a good idea too.

Not exactly... I had no idea there existed a man fitting all the points. We met some 4 years later. I was just systemizing what I wanted and who I was looking for.
Then forgot about the list for years to ultimately find out that the man I married fitted all the points.

A lot of women make lists and the list are so long, there’s no guy that’ll match it, they either need to settle or remain alone forever. I don’t have hope for the future of the USA, no wonder we are going into a negative population growth.


It's not cultural, it's human nature mate. It's depressing, but in the end, don't hate the player, hate the game. (even though it's very difficult sometimes)



hale_bopp
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06 Oct 2017, 8:04 pm

I made lists as a teenager. I quickly learned that they are pointless as I got older. I don’t think I’ve ever had feelings for someone acceptable on paper. 15-20 years of attraction experience.



JaredGTALover
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07 Oct 2017, 7:26 pm

passionate,wild jungle romance with a chubby female aspie who doesn't mind having sex with a male aspie :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:



rdos
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08 Oct 2017, 3:05 am

Closet Genious wrote:
sly279 wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
magz wrote:
rdos wrote:
I do a lot of analyzing to, but not to check against lists of traits I decided must match between us. The analyzing is more about trying to figure out as much as possible about the girl without having to ask about it. :wink:

I didn't check the list points too. Just putting them in this form made me realise them. It is very hard for me to realise something without expressing it.


So you mean you created the list to make sense of somebody? That makes a lot of sense, and I use that approach too. At least I try to. It helps if you have somebody to discuss it with, or just send finished analysis to. Writing a diary might be a good idea too.

Not exactly... I had no idea there existed a man fitting all the points. We met some 4 years later. I was just systemizing what I wanted and who I was looking for.
Then forgot about the list for years to ultimately find out that the man I married fitted all the points.

A lot of women make lists and the list are so long, there’s no guy that’ll match it, they either need to settle or remain alone forever. I don’t have hope for the future of the USA, no wonder we are going into a negative population growth.


It's not cultural, it's human nature mate. It's depressing, but in the end, don't hate the player, hate the game. (even though it's very difficult sometimes)


The lists on dating sites are there to keep down matches, not because they are requirements. I bet the same girls offline have much less strict lists if any at all. So, no, online dating is a highly unnatural behavior that nobody has any working adaptations for.

If you want to play a different game, and one that is compatible with your nature, you cannot play it on dating sites, and you need to use real-life meetings. After you know somebody IRL, you can certainly play games online, but you cannot start off that way and be sure to find somebody that is compatible.



sly279
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09 Oct 2017, 2:50 pm

I’ve heard women in public say the same things. Others might not say them but still hold them. Dating sites just allow them to be open about it same with other online sites. People feel safer expressing their true feelings online. I don’t think that woman demanding s guy have a good job, place and car because she doesn’t want a mooch, wants someone to provide for her, etc is going feel differently in person. The fact they ask these quests in person on dates or at speed dating vents shows that.
They might like a guy then go on a date with him but sooner rather r later they ask about his job and if it doesn’t match their requirements they break it off or ghost him.
Women who don’t care about such things don’t post them online.



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09 Oct 2017, 2:51 pm

Psychological studies show a vast gulf between what people say they want, and what they actually accept when presented with a choice.

Self-examination can reveal where each of us makes mistakes in how we represent ourselves.


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10 Oct 2017, 3:34 am

What I want for my partner:
1)To be female
2)Physically to be puny with averadge height, black and straight hairs. I also like to looks like younger than her age but is not necessary
3)To be intelligent
4)To not smokes
5)To not has a dog for pet (cat or something other I don't care)
6)To be introvented. I don't want to be very extravented, outgoing and party animal. I want her to have similar lifestyle with me. I also like to be aspie but is not necessary
7)To be atheist and don't follow the crowd. I also like to be a little tomboy but is not necessary



The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Oct 2017, 8:11 am

I'd like someone with at least some similar interests who is honest and loyal, accepts me for who I am, is my 'type' lookswise and who I'm able to form a strong emotional bond with.



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10 Oct 2017, 3:11 pm

Someone eccentric and interesting with a spark of life about them. Quirky and funny.



nick007
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31 Oct 2017, 4:34 pm

I was mostly looking for a woman who would give me a real chance & try to make a relationship work with me. I also didn't want someone with kids or who was abit older than me because I didn't want someone who would act like a mom with me. Things I was looking for was someone who would be accepting & understanding of my physical & mental disabilities & issues. Someone who had issues herself & wanted or liked having a lot of emotional support. Someone very affectionate with their partner & who's needy & clingy with their partner. Someone abit younger than me for other reasons I listed. Someone who can be very direct & straightforward with their partner. Someone who wasn't that smart. I'm not that smart myself & my 2nd girlfriend was pretty smart & she made all the decisions within our relationship & didn't value my input cuz she thought she knew better. I also find things women say that are considered stupid to be funny & cute.


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