being invisible for men

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i actually updated this thread because i met some people from high school and they just mentioned how some guys were in love with me and i had absolutely no clue about it. one of those guys was specially someone i liked a lot, and i definitely would be happy if i had known this before.

i wouldn't say that the man that notice me are invisible to me... but maybe their feelings and perceptions are? i'm unaware on how people perceive me. it may be a bigger problem than actually people not perceiving me. i don't really know what to do.

The best way to meet people is face to face in person. You don't meet any spambots offline.

@ltcvnzl from the few photos of yourself that you have posted, I would say that, strictly on the basis of appearance alone, there would be plenty of guys in the US who would be happy to date you, if they had reason to believe you were interested. I know very little about Brazil which is why I specifically mention the US.

If I were still about her age, I myself would gladly have an arm and a leg cut off in exchange for a chance to get to know her. But, of course, it'd be a stupid idea, because I'd be even less use to her in that sorry state than otherwise.

My observation was that there were plenty of guys in the US who would be happy to date her solely on the basis of her appearance. But you have no idea whether you would actually like her if you met her. It's easy to fantasize about having a relationship with somebody you know very little about — the reality can be completely unexpected.

Another point I made though, is that the guys in question would want to know if she is interested in them. It has happened to me that a girl I hadn't especially thought of as a prospective date made me aware that she wanted to date me, and after that I was very interested indeed. I am thinking in particular of a coworker who was 6 years younger than I, who told her housemate she wanted a date with me. In today's world of online dating, I don't know what would be the equivalent situation, but if there is a way a young woman can make a guy aware of her interest, without inadvertently making it appear like an explicit invitation to have sex with her, she should definitely go for it. I think using an intermediary is still not a bad idea.

I already took that into account—that’s why I said I’d gladly have an arm and a leg cut off in exchange for a chance to get to know her. I never get those chances. If once I got to know her, it didn’t work out, too bad—all I could do was to try.

You can send her the arm and leg by mail, she may be impressed.

I also acknowledged it'd be a stupid idea. And I'm far too old for her anyway.

It would be so romantic, in Van Gogh style.

I can't even get poppy seeds by mail, I'm sure they wouldn't allow an arm and leg. Also, no need for an arm and leg, and I don't know your age or looks, and probably we are too far to any romantic interest, but if you want to know me better you can surely write me. I like you from what I know, despite we having a lot of different opinions, SpiderPig!

MaxE, thanks, I guess. I'm not sure if what hold people far from me is only my appearance, maybe I don't go out and seem open enough... but I also feel I look better and less fat in photos, and I have the impression that in Brazil they tend to value a lot more having a fit body than anything else.

This is not the main thing in my life, and I can go on alone pretty OK. But I feel I'm losing something important in life, I miss having someone to share things? Also, when I see a lot of guys complaining about not having dates, I feel there is a lot of girls in similar situation and we just have a huge miscommunication and expectation problems?

I know this isn't addressed to me, but I saw your picture in one of the picture threads and you're extremely pretty. Don't let lack of attention convince you otherwise.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that till you're 35 and we'll see if you'll still have the same stance....

this is 10 years apart so i'm pretty sure a lot will change meanwhile. don't ignore the rest of what i said, i care about having a relationship but i'm not depressed because i don't have one and i don't see why should i be desperate for it. a lot of time i used to be sad about it because i thought i didn't want friends, only a boyfriend and then i was all time alone and sad for it... now i improved a lot on making friends.

also, i know there is some guys who believe that woman have a best before date but honestly this isn't the sort of person i want near myself so i'm better alone anyway.

Um, ok, whatever you said. You are always right after all.

Hey there's no need for that! She's trying to find positivity in a negative situation. As she says it's another 10 years till she hits our age, so who knows what might happen.

I think it's probably better to accept that there are many ways to live life. I wasn't prepared to be alone and I've been grieving the life I was planning to have. I think I would have been able to handle this better mentally if I had accepted at younger age that there are all sorts of ways to enjoy life and not everyone lives it with a partner.

But then accepting that doesnt mean that one is not open to opportunities should they arise.