Diagnosed during the late 20s: can a diagnosis still help?

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i. I never implied that a childhood diagnosis would have solved all my problems. I said that people might've cut me some slack, and not punished me so harshly whenever I screwed up, or thought of me as a "problem child" who just needed stricter discipline than the other children. More support at school is exactly what I needed, but was denied.

ii. I'm not using my autism as an "excuse" any more than a blind man uses his blindness as an "excuse" for needing help to cross the road. My issues with executive function, and with cognitive empathy, are because of autism. Autism is the reason for those issues, not the "excuse"! I'm not somehow 'milking it' when I say that I am disabled and that I have genuine difficulties; why else would an expert* have diagnosed me?

*the lead clinician of one the UK's biggest NHS autism clinics, FYI

People have trouble remembering to cut you some slack when they can't see your disability. You get more slack if you are in a wheelchair that everyone can see. Like Stephen Hawking.

Yeah, I know - but having a diagnosis would've meant that I'd have been eligible for help from the special needs coordinator at school. It also would have given me an explanation for my difficulties - so that I didn't just unquestionably believe all the people who said I was "rude", "lazy", "not trying", etc - thereby improving my self-esteem and making me less prone to (social) anxiety and depression.

You are inferring that I'm saying something all I said was that It's not always brighter on the other side. And that You shouldn't let the diagnosis hold you back. Once you lower your standards it's hard to draw the bar. You are misinterpreting what I said though admittedly I'm not the best at communicating. I'm just saying the grass isn't always greener other side. And No Special education services aren't the best especially when it comes to autism lack of communication skills + special educations services that require them to function isn't always the best combo. You assume idealistic scenarios. Consider this. Most of the people who are diagnosed are considered obviously different. another thing is that in my country you have to fail to get any special education services and to get out fo mainstream classes. so all the diagnosis doesn't help that much in all cases in the school system. Maybe it's me an my experience but a diagnosis will afford you medical care. Also knowledge, and disability benefits (potentially) It also can provide you with knowledge, and All I'm saying is you shouldn't lower the bar of expectation you should just get a new set of them. "Yeah, I know - but having a diagnosis would've meant that I'd have been eligible for help from the special needs coordinator at school. It also would have given me an explanation for my difficulties - so that I didn't just unquestionably believe all the people who said I was "rude", "lazy", "not trying", etc - thereby improving my self-esteem and making me less prone to (social) anxiety and depression." I'm not in the uk butt. from what you said you think that having services provided from you from the special needs cordinator will solve those problems. and I'm telling you that more problems will spring up.. And you still would have been called rude lazy not trying etc. I've been called them so many times that the word loses its meaning/ the thing is that. It's not a fix all for those problems they still will come up at around the same frequency and would be replaced with the same thing but also having to deal with all those counselors which if you already have social anxiety and can hardly talk to people. It makes it much harder. and by the time you and finally get acquainted they will have moved on so you are essentially always going to be nervous around them assuming you have similar levels of social anxiety as me.. so you are still going to ahve those problems. They will eventually spring up and cause the same amount of trouble. And I can guarentee you that. Sure you may have knowledge but. Me being dignosed at 10 I probably could have easily beeen diagnosed earlier but my mother who's extremeyl manipulative was in denial about every mental health condition I had. So it's not like that would have happened either way. I could've got diagnosed at around five when the first signs of learning disability showed up. You also assume that your parent's would educate you enough about said disorders from an early age you might have 3 scenarios.
A. A situation where it's completely hidden from them.
B. A situation where they know the diagnosis but don't know what it means. or
C. That they know the diagnosis and know what it means.
But neither of these situations would mean that it shield them from those comments.. THey still will happen and they still will have to deal with the pain of being rejected by peers and depression and also social anxiety social anxiety isn't situational for me it's a constant thing. It'll happen. Unless I'm well acquainted with my environment and even then it's still there just not as bad because it's worse due to being anxious about being unfamiliar with the environment. Not so much social anxiety specifically. Only when I'm very familiar with a person does it stop. But even then I've had very few people like that. outside of family. Maybe 1 or 2.. Not to mention alienation will eventually happen. It happened to me multiple times and I always stand out from people. Regardless of situation. And unless I purposely alienate myself it will happen.... and on top of that. If you were growing up today you would also have to deal with stuff kids today deal with. cause you most likely wouldn't be diagnosed again when you were growing up.. It's not like it will make it better you still will have problems. It's not like it will make them go away or anything. But in situation 1 which I was in up until age nine and 2 till age 12. I had my own problems in each of those periods. Neither are better or worse. I still had difficulties in different ways. They all had and effect on me. So Maybe eligible but not always helpful. And for the depression depression is bound to happen. at some point. And being prone. You are going to feel something that puts you into it whether it is rejection, pain, trauma, you name it.. Something is always going to swing you into a depression. And also i don't know you personally but it's hard for me to understand my own self much anymore. Now I'm a bit different from you. But either way. If I Did grew up when you did. back in the 90s. I would probably been misdiagnosed with some sort of learning disability.. and would still have much of the problems now, but wouldn't have nearly as much information on the topic. But I also wouldn't have information to obsess over so it's neither a pro nor a con. I'd also most likely have to deal with less of a adapted school but for much of my life since I've only been diagnosed four years and for bout 3 receiving accommodation. I still have only had 3 accommodations. I also would have other benefits as well like being less on edge all the time and much less paranoid. Though in 1997 I probably would have access to irc or something but most likely wouldn't have started gathering any information till 2000 or later. i probably wouldn't have experience the psychotic episode I had a couple months ago. But would eventually experinece it probably and if I was born in the mid eighties let's just say 83 I'd be 14 right now. but again I'd have similar symptoms but thy wouldn't affect me nearly as much. though Probably around the mid 2000s to late 2000 I would eventually discover autism. but that being said. It's unlikely that I would have become this paranoid till maybe early 2010s to mid 2010 I would be this on the edge an it most likely would be caused by some sort of accident caused out of clumsiness that sent me over the edge. It's har dto say what would happen after then. But It's likely that most of the events would be similar but have a different causes. but it all would eventually happen. It's also hard to say for sure. Idk anythings possible. But in general it would have similar effects. atleast fromw hta I think.

Pieplup: thanks for your post, but I didn't really read it as it was too long. Keeping your posts short, and using many paragraphs, improves your chances that people will read what you've written.

Yes, you could have received help from the Special Needs Councilor at school, but would have really helped? Did they actually have an expert in autism who actually had a clue as to help kids with autism? It seems that a lot of people "lucky" enough to be diagnosed when Autism was recognized as a disability in the early 1990s received little net benefit from the diagnoses. The ineffective help and disability label offset the benefit of "knowing." Typically you got pulled out of normal classes to go to special ones.

Yeah my point you may recieve help from them but will it help?