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ttt2727
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03 Oct 2017, 8:22 am

Correct me if I’m wrong... but from what I’ve read on here... those with ASD tend to have a hard time lying and more often than by are extremely honest (sometimes too honest!) and very blunt.. but rarely lie or find it difficult to lie.. is this accurate ?



EzraS
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03 Oct 2017, 10:57 am

They say it depends on the individual. And some can even be "pathological" liars. But for the most part I think the norm is people with autism tell it like it is. But I'm perfectly capable of lying and tell you that I'm a Nigerian prince who has a business offer for you.



kraftiekortie
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03 Oct 2017, 11:08 am

Autism is just not an "absolute" thing.

There is nothing in autism which "prevents" a person from lying.

Saying this, there are a good quantity of autistic people who are either reluctant to lie, or who are not able to lie "well."

This is far from universal, though.



jrjones9933
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03 Oct 2017, 11:12 am

I believe that the apparent ASD pathological liars are in fact misdiagnosed sociopaths. However, like most people, I learned to lie as a small child. I just don't think about lying very often, especially little white lies.


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BTDT
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03 Oct 2017, 11:20 am

I think for some aspies, lying is a social skill that takes practice to do well.

It is easier if you start out with white lies that are far more believable than the truth.



League_Girl
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03 Oct 2017, 1:03 pm

I learned to lie on my own but it was to try and stay out of trouble and at age seven I said we had ten hamsters living in our backyard in a bush. I strongly envied a girl in my class who had a bunch on hamsters and her mom brought them all in for the day. My teacher wanted me to tell her about it so I did and it was like telling a story. Then that all ended when the classroom aide she said will call my mother and ask her about it so I made up another story saying they all died and that ended it. I am sure they were all trying to teach me a lesson and get me to confess but it all backfired and I had no remorse. At age six I did exaggerate a situation that happened in school to make it sound better by saying the boy who threw chairs cracked the teacher's head open. He only hit her and kicked at the chair but it was an innocent mistake when I said he threw the chairs again because the chair was laying on the floor so I assumed he had thrown it. But lot of kids that young exaggerate and make up stories.

I didn't know about white lies or sparing feelings until I was a teen when my psychologist told me. I am still learning about it and learning how something can still be truthful even if it seems like a lie.

I also knew another aspie who always lied but he was a pathological liar and very manipulative but he also had a behavior disorder.


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AspieSingleDad
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03 Oct 2017, 1:04 pm

I'm an Aspie and have a disdain for lying. I can lie for the purposes of avoiding the consequences, but usually I'd tell the truth and face whatever consequences come my way. However, if I believe I have a valid reason for lying i.e. to protect a secret I promised to keep or get somebody off a murder charge who I believe to be innocent, I am capable of lying and lying very well. In fact, while I was lying, I'd play up the fact that I have Asperger's and therefore don't lie (which would be another lie).

So there you have it, us Aspie's can't be placed into a generalized box, we generally have the ability to think freely.



teksla
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03 Oct 2017, 1:33 pm

EzraS wrote:
But I'm perfectly capable of lying and tell you that I'm a Nigerian prince who has a business offer for you.


Hah!


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03 Oct 2017, 2:29 pm

Another aspie myth. We can lie alright, we have had to, it’s just that mostly we don’t see anything wrong with telling it like it is. When I have to lie or be disengenuine I (unless to protect myself) I still find it difficult, the truth is just under the surface waiting to burst out


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BTDT
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03 Oct 2017, 2:52 pm

Rather than create problems for co-workers by truthfully answering questions, it is often better for your work life to make something up. The idea that "customers come first" is a lie. You come first. Your co-workers come second.
Maybe not even second, if close relatives get involved. As I understand it, most NTs don't need to learn this, but it does seem there are those on the spectrum do need to. Particularly those who find that their jobs rarely last for more than a few months. They seem to have issues with concepts like this.



lostonearth35
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03 Oct 2017, 4:34 pm

There is a forum on WP called "Tell a Blatant Lie". I have gone one it a lot hand had my of fun making up jaw-dropping whoppers and reading others as well. But that's only for fun. Not like lying to avoid getting into trouble, or worse trouble, or everything that comes out of a politician's mouth that doesn't have something they ate in it.

When someone has lied to me, I feel I can never trust them again. I can be naive and not see subtle clues that's someone's lying to me, such as avoiding eye contact. Usually *I'm* the one who avoids eye contact even when I'm telling the truth. And if someone thinks I'm lying, it's very hurtful. At the religious school I went to as a kid, it was also physically hurtful because lying was a horrible sin that would get you strapped in front of the whole class. Back then I believed lying would send you to hell, so I was terrified to lie. :(

And yet here I am, constantly bombarded by politicians and commercials and psychiatrists and parents lying constantly, and it's as if my general of lying and people lying to me is a BAD thing.



thewheel
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03 Oct 2017, 5:25 pm

Deliberately manipulating people is something that doesn't really come naturally to me, I just don't think in that way. But I can still tell a lie, particularly to save my own ass or as a joke.


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jrjones9933
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03 Oct 2017, 5:28 pm

People often believe that they can detect lies by watching the person's eye contact, but vocal pitch is a more reliable indicator. People raise the tone of their voice when they lie.


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LostGirI
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03 Oct 2017, 7:11 pm

I find it very difficult to lie and more often than not, I can't seem to when at times I know I probably should. Trouble is, by the time I've realised it's usually too late. At times I really wish I could lie though. I really do.


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Keladry
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03 Oct 2017, 8:08 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
There is a forum on WP called "Tell a Blatant Lie". I have gone one it a lot hand had my of fun making up jaw-dropping whoppers and reading others as well. But that's only for fun.


I tried to post in that forum but couldn't :) Apparently I can't even lie in jest!