Elderly women and ballroom dancing

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Raleigh
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10 Oct 2017, 4:46 pm

Elderly women could possibly have eligible granddaughters/great granddaughters, daughters/nieces/carers/etc. that they could make you acquainted with.


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RetroGamer87
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10 Oct 2017, 4:54 pm

Marknis wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Has it gotten to the point where it gets creepy?


It has. When they laugh like wheezing hillbillies and put their hands on me, it makes me feel sick. Their skin feels gross and their bones feel like they will pop through their flesh at any moment.


If the ladies at that place make you feel uncomfortable, don't go back.

The fact is that ballroom dancing attracted elderly people. If you want to dance with young women, you can do it the easy way or the hard way.

The Easy Way
Go clubbing. You can meet scantily clad young women like in the picture below. Everytime I go into the city on a Friday or Saturday I see them but I don't go clubbing with them because I'm a wuss :lol:

Image



The Hard Way
Become a ballet dancer. You'll be with extremely fit young women who look perfect and move with elegance and grace. There aren't very many male ballet dancers so they'll be fighting to be your dance partner.

Image


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Raleigh
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10 Oct 2017, 4:56 pm

You'd be better off learning Latin dance.
They have a Salsa Club here.
Lots of young women attend, and often have to dance with other women for lack of men.


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sly279
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10 Oct 2017, 4:58 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

The law averages isn't going to allow all women to "date up."

If I knew you in real life I might be able to offer more practical advice; it usually isn't that hard to spot where a guy is getting it "wrong." And, seriously, some of the weirdest guys I've known eventually got married. No one is unlovable.


Law of averages?
No a bunch will remain single for life rather then setting or dating down. That doesn’t really help me.

I’ve been rejected by women worse off then me cause of my job. They have more debt then me, live off their parents, didn’t drive or have a car etc. but wanted to date a middle class guy only. And they probably get one if they get attractive enough. A lot of guys will date and support attractive women. House wife’s are still quite common.

I am though. There’s too much wrong with me. I work and will work min wage part time for rest of my life, what won’t change. I can’t afford a car, so I take the bus which I can afford cause I get it half price due to disability. I rent with my family cause it’s cheaper and so they don’t get kicked out. I’m bit fat at 280 now down to 260 and working it it but it won’t change the above stuff which is the main reason women reject me. I’m also ugly. Super unattractive apparently.
Then theirs my lack of friends which I saw in another thread is a red flag for women.

I also have few decisive interests
I play video games at 30 so many women say I’m a man child though lots of married guys play games too.
I like shooting and owning guns, I watch a lot of videos about old and odd guns, I like seeing how they operate and disassemble. I like history
I enjoy shaving as a hobby. I am also interested in money like coins, I’m fascinated by packaging.

Entertainment wise I like kids shows like mlp(women say pediofile) I like some anmie(women say it means I’m sexist pig who likes big boobs) I enjoy action(violent guy) I like scifi(geeky nerd they say) I don’t like Horroblike most guys. It scares me. I actually enjoy a lot of drama and romantic movies. Most guys hate them a lot. All turn offs to women :(

I don’t like getting dirty and I’m not physically strong cause I don’t work out. I don’t have a six pack. I don’t drink beer or alcohol. I don’t smoke weed(seems all women do now adays) I don’t break laws. I’m opposed to violence and thus wouldn’t fight for a girls honor.(women want this despite saying they don’t like guys who watch action or war movies , 0.o women are confusing)
I also have big feet though not super big. I’m size 12.5-13 did you know people wear size 20 shoes :o

Oh and personality wise I’m emotional, I’m playful and silly, I like talking about stuff rather then finding solutions(though I do do that too sometimes) I was raised by bunch of women having few male romodels. So basically I was raised how women say they want a guy to be but not actually how they want a guy to be. I’m also quite romantic though 17 years of rejection and hurt has lessened it.



Marknis
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10 Oct 2017, 5:23 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Has it gotten to the point where it gets creepy?


It has. When they laugh like wheezing hillbillies and put their hands on me, it makes me feel sick. Their skin feels gross and their bones feel like they will pop through their flesh at any moment.


If the ladies at that place make you feel uncomfortable, don't go back.

The fact is that ballroom dancing attracted elderly people. If you want to dance with young women, you can do it the easy way or the hard way.

The Easy Way
Go clubbing. You can meet scantily clad young women like in the picture below. Everytime I go into the city on a Friday or Saturday I see them but I don't go clubbing with them because I'm a wuss :lol:

Image



The Hard Way
Become a ballet dancer. You'll be with extremely fit young women who look perfect and move with elegance and grace. There aren't very many male ballet dancers so they'll be fighting to be your dance partner.

Image


Neither of those kinds of places are in the city I live in, just beer stained and cigarette smoke ridden dive bars. They are only for rednecks. There was once a rap club but after someone got shot, it closed down.

The lounge for the speed dating events I went to had a small dance floor (So small that it took only four steps to cross it) but a lot of the girls I thought I was hitting it off with left so that was a dead end.



RetroGamer87
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10 Oct 2017, 5:50 pm

Maybe you could drive down to Mexico and try your luck there.


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DW_a_mom
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10 Oct 2017, 6:48 pm

I don't know what to tell you, Sly. I realize that income is a big thing in marriage but it shouldn't be a barrier to dating as long as someone is open to dating that may stay that way and not lead to a house and kids. There will be more women in that frame of mind when you are a little older. And all the things you listed as turn-offs ... sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. It depends on the person. I do think you should work on your health because then YOU will feel better, and the side effect is that it will also make you more attractive. The trap you are in right now feeds on itself. You get down on yourself, you let yourself get less healthy, your attitude gets more negative, all that makes you less attractive, and then you get down on yourself even further. I don't read you describing a guy for whom a little companionship should be hopeless. Not easy; I know your pool is limited; but not hopeless. Try to ENJOY life, and get healthy. There has to be some physical activity you enjoy. Hiking will center your soul; do you ever hike?

And traveling can definitely open up opportunities in the dating department you might not otherwise find. There is just something about being a traveler that changes the rules.


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RetroGamer87
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10 Oct 2017, 6:59 pm

So before you can enjoy your life with a partner, you must enjoy your life without a partner. That makes sense.

In my experience girls don't like it when I talk about my depression. I guess I don't blame them. If I was them I wouldn't want to date a depressed guy either.

Yet pretending to be happy all the time feels dishonest.


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Marknis
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10 Oct 2017, 7:46 pm

I feel as if I am not writing my life story but someone else is. They've tied my hands behind my back, forced my eyes open, and are leaning over my shoulder with a pen and writing on the pages in front of me. I should've been dating before and atleast have a long term partner by now but whoever is writing my story is refusing to let those things come into the plot.



kraftiekortie
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10 Oct 2017, 7:54 pm

Write your own story, then....

Don't let people make you a puppet....



RetroGamer87
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10 Oct 2017, 9:19 pm

Too late. If Marknis's happiness is dependent on having a girlfriend that means his happiness is dependent on someone else's decision. That means he's already someone's puppet. The only way out is to be happy without depending on someone else. But now I'm starting to sound like all the people who told him he doesn't need a girlfriend.

It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.


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Marknis
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10 Oct 2017, 10:14 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Too late. If Marknis's happiness is dependent on having a girlfriend that means his happiness is dependent on someone else's decision. That means he's already someone's puppet. The only way out is to be happy without depending on someone else. But now I'm starting to sound like all the people who told him he doesn't need a girlfriend.

It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.


Can I really be blamed, though? Romance and sex were shoved in my face as if they were wonderful things but I couldn't have them. The people who did it were doing it in a mocking way. I wanted to prove those people wrong. It causes me a lot of suffering but if I were to let it go, it would mean all the struggling was in vain. My already unhappy story would have a Lovecraftian ending.



sly279
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10 Oct 2017, 11:36 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I don't know what to tell you, Sly. I realize that income is a big thing in marriage but it shouldn't be a barrier to dating as long as someone is open to dating that may stay that way and not lead to a house and kids. There will be more women in that frame of mind when you are a little older. And all the things you listed as turn-offs ... sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. It depends on the person. I do think you should work on your health because then YOU will feel better, and the side effect is that it will also make you more attractive. The trap you are in right now feeds on itself. You get down on yourself, you let yourself get less healthy, your attitude gets more negative, all that makes you less attractive, and then you get down on yourself even further. I don't read you describing a guy for whom a little companionship should be hopeless. Not easy; I know your pool is limited; but not hopeless. Try to ENJOY life, and get healthy. There has to be some physical activity you enjoy. Hiking will center your soul; do you ever hike?

And traveling can definitely open up opportunities in the dating department you might not otherwise find. There is just something about being a traveler that changes the rules.



I want to get married ideally:(
So basically your saying I have to wait til I’m old and unable to enjoy or do anything. Miss out on 50-60% of what a relationship offers. No thanks . Hopefully I’ll die before 35 I have no wish of living to 40.

I can’t afford to eat healthy. As for the gym i dont know it’s hard especially when I feel it’s pointless cause reality is losing wieght or being fit is pointless for me. Plus it’s so boring and takes 3 hours out of my day so I can work out on a treadmill for hour a day. Also means waking up early and losing sleep and no more doing things I actually enjoy as once I’m home I’ll have just enough time to shower and get ready for work :(

My depression is from lack of s love life not from being fat I don’t care about being fat I’m comfortable and fine with being a 42-44 waist size. It’s the fact every time I see a woman or a woman’s profile I have to remind myself I’m not good enough, she’s better then me cause she’s a woman, she can get any guy she wants and that I shouldn’t smile.

Hiking alone is dangerous but it doesn’t matter as I have no car and there aren’t buses to the woods. I hate walking around town more then a treadmill so that’s my only option. It’s comfortable and has bathrooms. Little less judgement from people too.

I can’t enjoy life alone everything is pointless alone. Nothing matters. Anything that do accomplish doesn’t mean anything. Most people get a raise go home where heir gf/bf congratulates them. They have people to share heir hobbies and accomplishments with. When your single you realize how hollow stuff is. Really takes the enjoyment out of everything. Yeah I lost wieght but who cares, no one so empty accomplishment. No sweety to call or text about it or talk to all day like everyone else has.

I can’t afford to travel. Traveling is expensive and requires transportation.



sly279
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10 Oct 2017, 11:38 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Too late. If Marknis's happiness is dependent on having a girlfriend that means his happiness is dependent on someone else's decision. That means he's already someone's puppet. The only way out is to be happy without depending on someone else. But now I'm starting to sound like all the people who told him he doesn't need a girlfriend.

It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.

You use to be and say the same things before you got gfs.

Reality check most people are sad alone and happy with others. Besides procreation which bunch of people have no interest in the whole point of a relationship is to be with someone who makes you happy. It’s why everyone does it otherwise guys would just impregnate women then go back to their man caves happy to know hey carried on the human race.



DW_a_mom
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11 Oct 2017, 3:21 am

sly279 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
I don't know what to tell you, Sly. I realize that income is a big thing in marriage but it shouldn't be a barrier to dating as long as someone is open to dating that may stay that way and not lead to a house and kids. There will be more women in that frame of mind when you are a little older. And all the things you listed as turn-offs ... sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. It depends on the person. I do think you should work on your health because then YOU will feel better, and the side effect is that it will also make you more attractive. The trap you are in right now feeds on itself. You get down on yourself, you let yourself get less healthy, your attitude gets more negative, all that makes you less attractive, and then you get down on yourself even further. I don't read you describing a guy for whom a little companionship should be hopeless. Not easy; I know your pool is limited; but not hopeless. Try to ENJOY life, and get healthy. There has to be some physical activity you enjoy. Hiking will center your soul; do you ever hike?

And traveling can definitely open up opportunities in the dating department you might not otherwise find. There is just something about being a traveler that changes the rules.



I want to get married ideally:(
So basically your saying I have to wait til I’m old and unable to enjoy or do anything. Miss out on 50-60% of what a relationship offers. No thanks . Hopefully I’ll die before 35 I have no wish of living to 40.

I can’t afford to eat healthy. As for the gym i dont know it’s hard especially when I feel it’s pointless cause reality is losing wieght or being fit is pointless for me. Plus it’s so boring and takes 3 hours out of my day so I can work out on a treadmill for hour a day. Also means waking up early and losing sleep and no more doing things I actually enjoy as once I’m home I’ll have just enough time to shower and get ready for work :(

My depression is from lack of s love life not from being fat I don’t care about being fat I’m comfortable and fine with being a 42-44 waist size. It’s the fact every time I see a woman or a woman’s profile I have to remind myself I’m not good enough, she’s better then me cause she’s a woman, she can get any guy she wants and that I shouldn’t smile.

Hiking alone is dangerous but it doesn’t matter as I have no car and there aren’t buses to the woods. I hate walking around town more then a treadmill so that’s my only option. It’s comfortable and has bathrooms. Little less judgement from people too.

I can’t enjoy life alone everything is pointless alone. Nothing matters. Anything that do accomplish doesn’t mean anything. Most people get a raise go home where heir gf/bf congratulates them. They have people to share heir hobbies and accomplishments with. When your single you realize how hollow stuff is. Really takes the enjoyment out of everything. Yeah I lost wieght but who cares, no one so empty accomplishment. No sweety to call or text about it or talk to all day like everyone else has.

I can’t afford to travel. Traveling is expensive and requires transportation.


Gosh I'm going to sound like a platitude, but where there is a will there is way. It is hard to learn how to get around nearly insurmountable obstacles, however, and I think it is extra difficult for people with ASD. Getting around the obvious is inconsistent with a rules mentality. Both my husband and son are bad at it, but I've helped them do it.

This is the kind of thing that I think a counselor could help with. Helping you see past obstacles. I can't do my favorite workout because my knees are bad. So learned to like something else. Then I got another injury. I found out how to adapt the routine again. I have to admit, I hated it with the adaptation at first, but I've started to find the zen in it. Finding ones way through circumstances is something we all have to do in life. I know it's hard, but I'm stubborn and I refuse to let things go until I've found something that gets me where I need to be. I also know that people find a "get it done" mentality attractive, so learning it could help you with dating, too.

I want you to have the things you want.


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DW_a_mom
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11 Oct 2017, 3:29 am

Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Too late. If Marknis's happiness is dependent on having a girlfriend that means his happiness is dependent on someone else's decision. That means he's already someone's puppet. The only way out is to be happy without depending on someone else. But now I'm starting to sound like all the people who told him he doesn't need a girlfriend.

It's catch-22 Marknis. You need a girlfriend but the only way to get a girlfriend is to not need one. I see no way out of this.


Can I really be blamed, though? Romance and sex were shoved in my face as if they were wonderful things but I couldn't have them. The people who did it were doing it in a mocking way. I wanted to prove those people wrong. It causes me a lot of suffering but if I were to let it go, it would mean all the struggling was in vain. My already unhappy story would have a Lovecraftian ending.


You've hit on a key: society has, in many ways, formed our ideas of what we want. Realizing that also can free you from it. You tell yourself that if you've been trained to want it, then you should be able to un-train yourself. Without question society forces the relationship ideal on us. Its survival of the species. And there are thousands of ways of trying to enforce that conformity. Its a lot to fight against, but you will be happier if you do. I know I was.

And writing this I'm feeling so guilty for becoming part of the game, how much I like match making and following my kids relationships. I need to stop that. I know how harmful that pressure can be for people, I do. Ugh.


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