Could this be my autism coming out stronger?

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I've always kind of people watched and mimicked people to seem normal, even before I realized I might have ASD. But something else that I have always struggled with is sometimes I feel very disassociated with life. As in sometimes I forget what my personality is, how I act, I get way too in my own head and don't feel like speaking to anyone. Sometimes it is even hard to speak. Times like these I wait to feel somewhat neuarotypical again and then it comes back hard in like a week. I never feel 100% NT of course but every time this happens I can't wait for it to pass. Do you think my autism gets more severe during certain points in my life? What could this be

I've attempted to mimic NTs for 40 years with the hope that I could hide my ASD but, they always find out one way or another. Then comes the social isolation, the whispers behind your back, the condescending attitudes, the fear when they discover you have well above average intelligence, the realization you can't recognize social cues and stuff like sarcasm, then you lose job after job after job because they "voted you off the island" for being too weird. etc. etc. etc.

Take it from me, hiding your condition may cause a heart attack like I had when I was 34 due to the stress and suppression of anger and lack of stimming. It's just too darn much to handle, and when I tried to fight our ASD's natural reactions to life, my health suffered greatly.

Your ASD only becomes more severe when you lose job after job and you realize that your special needs are not being met and you can't support yourself. I would suggest getting a job with as minimal a group of people as possible, a job where you can work alone because ASDs love being alone. Workplace social situations are the absolute worst for me, when my Aspie reactions are the most extreme and aggressive. Work is where stress REALLY proliferates and can run away with itself, fast.