Page 1 of 1 [ 15 posts ] 

Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

16 Oct 2017, 9:36 pm

I don't have ASD, but my son does. He was recently diagnosed - ASD with signs of hyperactivity, lacks focus, impulsivity and inattentiveness. By age 7, i have to bring him back to his devped for ADHD assessment.

He is in a regular school NOW and I don't know if I should let him stay there or bring him to a center who caters for kids with ASD.

Thoughts?



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 102,113
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

16 Oct 2017, 10:25 pm

Maybe you should ask him what he wants to do.


_________________
Mick

Kanye West 2020

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


beady
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2013
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 582

16 Oct 2017, 10:55 pm

How old is he now?
Does he express how he feels about his current school? Does he fit in? Does he have friends during school and more importantly do these same friends include him outside of school? Does his school work suffer from the issues you are having assessed and does the class and school address the issues in a positive way? Are there older kids with the same issues that have benefitted from that school environment?
I wouldn't take him away from his friends. If you study the forums here, friends are very difficult for a lot of people here to understand how to get and keep so you may cause quite a trauma in that regard if in the transition he fails to bond with anyone at the new place.



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

20 Oct 2017, 9:57 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe you should ask him what he wants to do.


hi! thanks for your reply.
he just turned 7 a few days ago and I don't think he knows at this time what may be good for him. all his sisters are in private schools and he is as well, at this time. the counselor in their grade level told me that there are 1 or 2 ASD kids per class in his grade and teachers are accommodating, but i'm worried.



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

20 Oct 2017, 10:02 pm

beady wrote:
How old is he now?
Does he express how he feels about his current school? Does he fit in? Does he have friends during school and more importantly do these same friends include him outside of school? Does his school work suffer from the issues you are having assessed and does the class and school address the issues in a positive way? Are there older kids with the same issues that have benefitted from that school environment?
I wouldn't take him away from his friends. If you study the forums here, friends are very difficult for a lot of people here to understand how to get and keep so you may cause quite a trauma in that regard if in the transition he fails to bond with anyone at the new place.


hi! thanks for replying. He just turned 7 (which reminds me, have to bring him to devped to assess if he has ADHD - sigh)

He loves his school now, no doubt about it. He has friends and on his birthday, more than half of his class came to McDonald's for a party. He told me five times in a span of one hour how happy he was and he's not usually that vocal. It made me cry.

Anyway, as for bigger kids, the counselor in his level told me that there are about 1-2 kids per class in their grade level who have ASD. There are also quite a few with ADHD or OCD. They're all highly functioning and some even went up to Junior, Senior High and college without problems. (I think there are 10 1st grade sections in their school)

My concern now is not on his ability to charm friends. He is a friend magnet, as I've noticed, but he will only remember names of those he really likes and that's 3-4 kids only. Though his other classmates are nice to him and even wait for him to finish his lunch so they could play but he doesn't know their names. My concern is his reading ability. He failed Reading/English :cry:



underwater
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,904
Location: Hibernating

21 Oct 2017, 1:33 am

I'd say that if he is happy in his school, don't move him. Better get him some academic support, which can be done within the school. He won't be the only kid who is struggling, there are plenty of kids who struggle in school without having ASD, but his diagnosis will qualify him for extra support most places.

You can even get him an after school tutor yourself, if you can afford it. Later, use things like Khan Academy and the like for academic input.

Autistic kids thrive on stability. Do you know how hard it is for us to make friends? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Trouble with reading will seem like nothing compared to being bullied every day, which is a nasty reality for kids on the spectrum. And I am not at all certain that special schools are very focused on academic achievement. They mainly exist to deal with behavioral problems that exclude kids from mainstream school.

I wouldn't ask a 7 year old what they want, they have no idea what they are choosing anyway.

I'm an autistic mom, btw.


_________________
I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.


EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

21 Oct 2017, 4:41 am

I agree. If he's happy and doing alright keep him where he's at. Use special ed as an alternative if he starts having trouble.



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

22 Oct 2017, 6:24 am

underwater wrote:
I'd say that if he is happy in his school, don't move him. Better get him some academic support, which can be done within the school. He won't be the only kid who is struggling, there are plenty of kids who struggle in school without having ASD, but his diagnosis will qualify him for extra support most places.

You can even get him an after school tutor yourself, if you can afford it. Later, use things like Khan Academy and the like for academic input.

Autistic kids thrive on stability. Do you know how hard it is for us to make friends? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Trouble with reading will seem like nothing compared to being bullied every day, which is a nasty reality for kids on the spectrum. And I am not at all certain that special schools are very focused on academic achievement. They mainly exist to deal with behavioral problems that exclude kids from mainstream school.

I wouldn't ask a 7 year old what they want, they have no idea what they are choosing anyway.

I'm an autistic mom, btw.



I literally cried when you said that it is very hard for people with ASD to make friends - my son is loved by his non-ASD kids classmates. I do notice times wherein he'd stay on a corner and play by himself especially if he has with him his superhero mashers and lego figures (iron man). But when his classmate join him while playing, he lets them. I guess OT helped as I bring him to his therapist once a week since July-August.

I checked out https://www.khanacademy.org/

Is this free? Haven't really browsed yet. Looks very organized. and is this like some type of online school?
I'll see what I can do on that tutor thing you recommended
thank you so much!



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

22 Oct 2017, 6:29 am

EzraS wrote:
I agree. If he's happy and doing alright keep him where he's at. Use special ed as an alternative if he starts having trouble.


yes, i guess i'll be doing that. thank you for this reply :-)



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

22 Oct 2017, 8:54 pm

underwater wrote:

You can even get him an after school tutor yourself, if you can afford it. Later, use things like Khan Academy and the like for academic input.


I went to this tutorial center which is near my son's school. It was a bit steep but it made me register because they had special ed tutors employed there. The teacher who will be incharge of my son told me that she had an ASD child student before and now, he is adapting quite well to the point the student is now in honors class! This made me so happy. I am not pressuring my boy to be honor or to excel. I just want him to learn so that when he grows up he can take care of himself.

Thank you so much for this advice. I would never have thought of it.

The teacher also told me to join a counseling group or do an online therapy sessions with an online psychiatrist. Im sure she means well, whatever can be helpful for me and my son. This was her recommendation.

Right now, i would do anything to support my son. Anything.



EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

22 Oct 2017, 10:06 pm

Chelsie wrote:
Right now, i would do anything to support my son. Anything.


That right there is the primarily most vital thing. I've had all kinds of great special ed and occupational therapy etc. But I believe the support that I have received at home has been the greatest benefit to my development and well being.



underwater
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,904
Location: Hibernating

22 Oct 2017, 11:58 pm

If I could give any advice, it's that accepting your son for who he is is the most effective way of securing him a happy life.

The most well adjusted autistic person I know is someone who had a lot of acceptance at home, who just grew up with the idea that it was perfectly acceptable to be unusual, and that apart from having manners, they didn't owe anybody any extreme adjustments.

When your son is older he will take more of a lead in his own life, start showing more preferences. Autistic kids mature late and unevenly. There can be periods of minimal development, until suddenly a jump occurs.

Take any predictions for your kid with a grain of salt. Autistic kids are difficult to predict.

You seem to be fairly well off and have time to spend on you children, which makes a difference. Pay attention to stress levels. If your kid is acting out a lot, there may be too much pressure or change in his life at once. That said, I think one-on-one tutoring is often a good thing for kids on the spectrum.

Try to hang out in the parents' forum and feel free to ask advice there. Just be aware that opinions differ, and that we're a mix of autistic and neurotypical parents. Everybody's got different ways of doing things, but it's a good place to find ideas that you can try out to see if they work for your child.

Best wishes!


_________________
I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.


Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

23 Oct 2017, 11:55 pm

underwater wrote:
If I could give any advice, it's that accepting your son for who he is is the most effective way of securing him a happy life.

The most well adjusted autistic person I know is someone who had a lot of acceptance at home, who just grew up with the idea that it was perfectly acceptable to be unusual, and that apart from having manners, they didn't owe anybody any extreme adjustments.

When your son is older he will take more of a lead in his own life, start showing more preferences. Autistic kids mature late and unevenly. There can be periods of minimal development, until suddenly a jump occurs.

Take any predictions for your kid with a grain of salt. Autistic kids are difficult to predict.

You seem to be fairly well off and have time to spend on you children, which makes a difference. Pay attention to stress levels. If your kid is acting out a lot, there may be too much pressure or change in his life at once. That said, I think one-on-one tutoring is often a good thing for kids on the spectrum.

Try to hang out in the parents' forum and feel free to ask advice there. Just be aware that opinions differ, and that we're a mix of autistic and neurotypical parents. Everybody's got different ways of doing things, but it's a good place to find ideas that you can try out to see if they work for your child.

Best wishes!


thank you thank you thank you!



Chelsie
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

23 Oct 2017, 11:57 pm

EzraS wrote:
Chelsie wrote:
Right now, i would do anything to support my son. Anything.


That right there is the primarily most vital thing. I've had all kinds of great special ed and occupational therapy etc. But I believe the support that I have received at home has been the greatest benefit to my development and well being.


I may be on the right track. I just hope God will give me the strength to carry on. Thank you!



Pieplup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,452
Location: The Void

24 Oct 2017, 3:39 am

Chelsie wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
Maybe you should ask him what he wants to do.


hi! thanks for your reply.
he just turned 7 a few days ago and I don't think he knows at this time what may be good for him. all his sisters are in private schools and he is as well, at this time. the counselor in their grade level told me that there are 1 or 2 ASD kids per class in his grade and teachers are accommodating, but i'm worried.
You cano help him make an informed decission.


_________________
Ψ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ψ youtube.com/c/pieplup
ISTJ-A - HSP - 21 - AQ - 43 - EQ - 13 - SQ - 69 - RAADS-R - 196 - Aspie Quiz (AS:176/NT:30)
Professionally Diagnosed: with A.D.H.D., Dysgraphia, PDD-NOS, and Social Phobia. Possible PTSD

Ψ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ψ