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pugfug90
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02 Jun 2007, 10:35 pm

It's uncomfortable. Just you and me. Creepy. I don't know if I should stare at the ground then look normal again after they pass (but that would acknowledge them) or greet, stare into oblivion, or stare at them, yeah. Crowded hallways so I can hide behind others = good.

Anyone else uncomfortable with sidewalks/hallways? I want to know what you do with 1 on 1.



Esperanza
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02 Jun 2007, 11:54 pm

I don't mind hallways and sidewalks. It's the people I have to walk past that bother me.

A few weeks ago I was passing someone in a hallway and she smiled at me so I smiled back, and just as I did, I glanced up and saw a mirror. I had THOUGHT I was smiling but there was no expression on my face at all. It was kind of embarrassing. How many times have I appeared to completely ignore a person? Is that why people don't seem to like me much? Do I appear cold and unfriendly and snotty? Do I appear stupid, with my blank face?



ASS-P
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03 Jun 2007, 12:19 am

...Huh ! !! !! !! !! !!



pugfug90
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03 Jun 2007, 9:26 am

So if it's about 20ft between you and someone in sidewalk/hallway, do you stare at them during that long walk, or at the ground, or into the air or what waa



pugfug90
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03 Jun 2007, 4:00 pm

I am serious. Someone tell me what exactly you do in 1 on 1 in hallway/sidewalk?



Esperanza
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03 Jun 2007, 4:49 pm

I don't really know.

If you recognize the person I think you're supposed to give them a smile and a nod with brief eye contact. If you don't recognize them then you just make very brief eye contact and maybe smile, maybe not. That's what I think is probably the right thing to do because every time I look up that's what people are doing to me. I've noticed that older people or people who are in my building or my neighbourhood like to have a smile and a nod- maybe even a hello and a comment on the weather- even if I don't know them or recognize them. (I hate that.)

The truth is, most of the time I just look down and avoid people. If they push to get my attention or start talking then I mumble back at them and give them a tight little down-turned "I don't want to talk to you" smile.

Gosh. I'm a very unfriendly person!



gwenevyn
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03 Jun 2007, 4:56 pm

I hope somebody will clue us in on the proper protocol. It always makes me nervous. Especially when I'm coming up on somebody from a minority group because I'm afraid that my social ineptitude will make them think that I am a racist... anybody ever feel like that?

This was one good thing about living in Central America. There, if you pass somebody on the street, you will always smile and give them the polite greeting most appropriate for the time of day. Excepting in large crowds, of course, in which there is no social obligation to meet the gaze of others or speak to them.

When I first came back to the states, it really bothered me how we all ignore each other on the sidewalk and I couldn't even remember how that ever felt natural. So I would smile at people and say, "Good afternoon!" (or whatever) This unfortunately led to several incidents in which people either thought I was bizarre or thought I was inviting romantic attention. So I'm back to ignoring people on the sidewalk unless spoken to... except I greet the elderly, who seem to welcome a smile and nod.



pugfug90
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03 Jun 2007, 6:58 pm

After I smile, where do I stare? And if I don't greet, do I just stare at an imaginary person next to them or the ground or what? One day, I'm going to experiment, sit on the sidelines, watch how others behave, then get eggs thrown at me :)