New young female co-worker joined today.

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Marknis
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06 Nov 2017, 6:43 pm

A new young female co-worker joined the library today and my mind is spinning with thoughts on what I should do. I've read as well as been told relationships can start from people who work together and I am also wondering if maybe this is an oppurtunity that I have been hoping for, especially after all the disappointments I've had to go through this year. Could this be the break I have been wanting for so long?



TornadoEvil
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06 Nov 2017, 6:46 pm

No, no, no. This is a bad train of thought to go down. Just treat them as a coworker. Treat them like any other person. You can try to ask them out maybe ONCE, only once at some point. Then back off, PERMANENTLY.



modernmax
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06 Nov 2017, 7:14 pm

Wow, you seem pretty excited over one new female. I mean, that is still one more option, but I would slow your roll there.


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Marknis
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06 Nov 2017, 7:43 pm

modernmax wrote:
Wow, you seem pretty excited over one new female. I mean, that is still one more option, but I would slow your roll there.


I work primarily with older and bitter married or divorced women. Maybe that will help you understand my feelings.



kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2017, 7:47 pm

Make sure she's "truly" single first.

Don't rush in like gangbusters.

Does she work in the same department as you? If she does, there might be a policy which goes against dating people in your department.



AquaineBay
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06 Nov 2017, 7:49 pm

I would slow down. I see that you're excited about the new coworker but if you act on that with that kind of energy, she will run away Sonic the Hedgehog style!

You are thinking too much into it, patience is key! No girl would want to start a new job and be bombarded by a man's testosterone.


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Marknis
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06 Nov 2017, 7:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Make sure she's "truly" single first.

Don't rush in like gangbusters.

Does she work in the same department as you? If she does, there might be a policy which goes against dating people in your department.


She does. I tried talking to her but my supervisor got into me because she thinks I was distracting her from training.

One of my co-workers in a different department doesn't think it would be a good idea since the girl is 19.



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06 Nov 2017, 7:52 pm

Ask her out. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. I've been there and the regret never fades.

Good luck!


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06 Nov 2017, 7:52 pm

Marknis wrote:
modernmax wrote:
Wow, you seem pretty excited over one new female. I mean, that is still one more option, but I would slow your roll there.


I work primarily with older and bitter married or divorced women. Maybe that will help you understand my feelings.


You cannot use your thoughts or feelings like this to justify ANY action. You can get it out of your system here, but you have to back off on this.



kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2017, 8:05 pm

I don't find anything wrong with a late-20's man dating a 19-year-old. It happens all the time. And it's legal.

The problem lies in the fact that you work in the same department. That's the major problem.



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07 Nov 2017, 2:02 pm

Just treat her like a person. Get to know her, don’t obsess over her. That’s the worst thing you can do.



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07 Nov 2017, 2:21 pm

Don’t date coworkers. From my own experiences, this was never a good idea.



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07 Nov 2017, 2:40 pm

To use a current phrase "stay in your lane"; if its meant to happen, it will. Nothing is more awkard than to work around someone has rejected you or is a failed love interest. Show her respect and courtesy and let her learn her new job in peace.



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07 Nov 2017, 2:42 pm

Go slow. Try not to obsess. Find out if you're friends first. Try to just hang out together first. A number of times, and see where things go from there. If you can't really become friends then you'll at least know that first and possibly save things becoming awkward for either of you at work. Maybe you two won't like each other so much, maybe you will.
If you do become friends, at least you've got a friend out of it. That's not so bad. And if you become friends, maybe it will go somewhere from there. Just don't try to force it.
I find myself in similar circumstances often. I've completely misread everything and embarrassed myself a bunch of times thinking something was there that wasn't. Or sort of having too much expectation. I've kind of wrecked budding friendships that way a few times. And have also made it through a few times. Starting to learn from my own mistakes.
But also still make the same mistakes. Did it just last week! Although I think I can still salvage the most recent one. Just did something really awkward, but haven't hit a point of no return yet.
Sorry, I get carried away.
Try to be friends first, and be ok with the possibility of just being friends. I think.



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07 Nov 2017, 3:12 pm

I don't think the age difference is too much, but give her a chance to get to know you, don't rush. When you do ask her out, if you do, something on the more casual end of the scale, like going for a drink, is easier to retreat from if she does say no than something heavy. Good luck.



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07 Nov 2017, 4:17 pm

What’s the issue against coworkers? I’m sleeping with one of mine.