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EJC93
Butterfly
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Joined: 5 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: Sweden

07 Nov 2017, 6:28 am

Hi new friends!
I'm new here. A 24 year old girl from Sweden  
I'm autistic (PDD-NOS). I was also diagnosed with OCD and social anxiety disorder at the age of 13.

I have always had an odd way of looking at the world. But ever since two years back I have started to feel that these thoughts I have and my way of looking at the world is getting hard to cope with. 
I tried to explain it a hundred times to my doctor and therapist but they can't give me a 100% sure answer about what it is. 
My doctor said "It could be obsessive thoughts, and it could be because autism can make people a bit paranoid about things".

Anyway, let me try to explain them. Hopefully some of you can relate! I feel like I'm going crazy. 
Naturally I get fascinated with things. It can be basically anything that catches my attention!
Like bumblebees. Blood. Colours. Snow. Like anything. But it's not just a "normal interest" for me. Like I don't read about it to know everything about bumblebees and how they live. It's more like I have a special place or "bubble" in my brain where I lock the thing that I have decided is "perfect" to me. And I don't wanna talk about it or see a bumblebee that doesn't fit my perfect view of it. Because then it destroys it for me. Like I have to control it.

Or if I obsess about the moon. It's so fascinating and round and perfect! But then it bothers me that there are more shapes than round spheres. Like triangles and squares! It doesn't feel natural to me! So I get very uncomfortable. 

My latest obsession is death. I think about it every day. What happens when I die? Will I just finally be free from my thougts and just "sleep forever"? Or will I still suffer from them after death? It kills me to not know for sure! I just want to know that when I die, I will be free from it all. To simply stop existing. 

These thoughts are so intrusive and I feel trapped in my head. Like I'm not here in a way. I want it to stop so badly.

My doctor prescribed me Fluoxetine 40 mg for OCD. It's been almost 4 weeks and still no improvement. 
Will I be stuck with this type of thinking for the rest of my life?

Can anyone relate?



LostGirI
Sea Gull
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Joined: 14 Jun 2017
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Posts: 205
Location: UK

07 Nov 2017, 6:57 am

Hello,

Sorry I can't relate to what you say about loocking thngs away in your mind as perfect and inside a bubble but I wanted to say hello and welcome to WP. I can get obsessed and interested in things but I will research and research until I know everything about it and at times until I am sick of whatever that fascination is at the time and sick of myself too....but that's another story. Hopefully someone else can relate anyway :)


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I'm working with ASD, generalised anxiety disorder and recurrent depression and they frequently kick my ***


Dear_one
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07 Nov 2017, 8:09 am

I am always disappointed by the contrast between something I design on paper, and the finished object which is imperfect in every detail. This is more obvious to the craftsman, of course. However, I'm more reminded of this bit of news: https://newatlas.com/gaba-unwanted-thoughts/52074/



SaveFerris
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07 Nov 2017, 8:18 am

Just so it doesn't come as a shock to you , don't be surprised if this thread or the similar one in Psychological Conditions gets deleted as it's a forum rule not to cross post. A warning from a mod about your second thread can ruin your whole day if your not prepared for it lol! OTOH maybe me just pointing out is worse :roll:


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EJC93
Butterfly
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Joined: 5 Nov 2017
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Posts: 10
Location: Sweden

07 Nov 2017, 9:37 am

Dear_one wrote:
I am always disappointed by the contrast between something I design on paper, and the finished object which is imperfect in every detail. This is more obvious to the craftsman, of course. However, I'm more reminded of this bit of news: https://newatlas.com/gaba-unwanted-thoughts/52074/


Interesting article!
Maybe a drug that works on the GABA could help with these kind of thoughts?



EJC93
Butterfly
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Joined: 5 Nov 2017
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Posts: 10
Location: Sweden

07 Nov 2017, 9:40 am

SaveFerris wrote:
Just so it doesn't come as a shock to you , don't be surprised if this thread or the similar one in Psychological Conditions gets deleted as it's a forum rule not to cross post. A warning from a mod about your second thread can ruin your whole day if your not prepared for it lol! OTOH maybe me just pointing out is worse :roll:


Oh I'm sorry! I didn't really know where this thread could fit..



SaveFerris
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07 Nov 2017, 9:52 am

EJC93 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Just so it doesn't come as a shock to you , don't be surprised if this thread or the similar one in Psychological Conditions gets deleted as it's a forum rule not to cross post. A warning from a mod about your second thread can ruin your whole day if your not prepared for it lol! OTOH maybe me just pointing out is worse :roll:


Oh I'm sorry! I didn't really know where this thread could fit..


No need to apologise to me , I'm not bothered. I only mentioned it because the last time I saw this happen I thought the Mod sounded a little harsh , factual and correct but harsh imo , as a new member I thought I'd give you a heads up.


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EJC93
Butterfly
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Joined: 5 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
Location: Sweden

07 Nov 2017, 9:54 am

SaveFerris wrote:
EJC93 wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Just so it doesn't come as a shock to you , don't be surprised if this thread or the similar one in Psychological Conditions gets deleted as it's a forum rule not to cross post. A warning from a mod about your second thread can ruin your whole day if your not prepared for it lol! OTOH maybe me just pointing out is worse :roll:


Oh I'm sorry! I didn't really know where this thread could fit..


No need to apologise to me , I'm not bothered. I only mentioned it because the last time I saw this happen I thought the Mod sounded a little harsh , factual and correct but harsh imo , as a new member I thought I'd give you a heads up.


Thank you!